Paula Abdul danced her way into her VH1 Divas introduction as a way of poking good-natured fun at Ellen. But could it simply be a sad ploy at subtle revenge?

Tinsley Mortimer may taste reality television stardom. Tennis star Melanie Oudin tastes the sour side of fame. Jessica Seinfeld's culinary tastes weren't stolen. And Tila Tequila has no taste for foursomes. Happy Friday! Here's your gossip roundup.

Ellen DeGeneres was floating on cloud nine this week, when American Idol producers finalized a deal that made her the show's fourth judge. Sadly, that cloud has popped. Her talk show's being sued!

For all the attention Washington's bluster gets, history will see this little health care squabble as a mere sideshow distraction from the news we received yesterday; news that will fundamentally alter the way we pick our next American Idol.

Finally! After weeks of anticipation, the nation can now sleep well at night knowing that American Idol has found a new judge to replace Paula Abdul. Her name's Ellen DeGeneres, and she's the best candidate for the position.

Men are chasing after Robert Pattinson. The Lady Gaga Penis Conspiracy continues! Megan Fox might be clinically insane. Paula Abdul definitely is, as are most British People. And Jon Gosselin still sucks. Presenting your Saturday Morning Gossip Roundup!

Maria Sharapova and James Blake challenge Roger Federer. Paula opens up on Idol. Kate Moss shows some skin. And Phil Spector needs to learn a lesson. Those stories — and more! — are in your Tuesday morning Gossip Roundup!

With her Idol tenure officially over, Paula Abdul's now banking on another gig: host of VH1s Divas special. This year's edition honors Kelly Clarkson, Jordin Sparks, Adele and Miley Cyrus. It's far easier to be a "diva" these days. [Twitter]

Jon Gosselin's gambling at Foxwoods, but it's Robert Pattinson who can't lose. Stephenie Meyer's getting sued, because she's no Astronaut Mya or, uh, Billy Bush. Or Hayden Panettiere's 'Pink Taco' sharing Harry Morton. Visionaries! Presenting your Saturday Morning Gossip Roundup!

Speidi acts the ass at the Miss Universe pageant, Sting's status as a sexual God is bullshit, Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush reconcile, Jason Schwartzman got married, Marc Jacobs is getting married, and Amy Winehouse goes on a 48-hour bender.

Leighton Meester acts obnoxiously in a fancy Hamptons restaurant, Bernie Madoff boned his secretaries, Shania Twain is an Idol judge, NeNe was a stripper, Erin Andrews gets dirty for GQ, Madonna turns 51, and Sean Penn's marriage is officially over.

Demi and Rumer enjoy some male stripper action, Jessica Simpson angles for an American Idol gig, the fate of Michael Jackson's corpse remains a creepy mystery, Lady Gaga abuses men, Britney sports a new bikini, and Hugh Grant contemplates retirement.

Sherri Shepherd tried to religionize Andy Dick, Heidi claims Spencer makes her orgasm 20-30 times a day, the George Clooney gay rumors are back, Nick Lachey is lonely, Lindsay Lohan scored an acting gig and Mischa Barton has cellulite.

Covering American Idol is often like reporting on a maze wrapped in an enigma washed down with a mystery. Could it be the entire free world—including us—was duped into thinking Paula Abdul walked away from TV's biggest show?

• Vibe is rising from the dead. A group of investors led by former cable exec Leo Hindery and its luxury magazine publisher Uptown Media have acquired the magazine. They plan to resurrect the website in a few weeks. [WSJ]
• Laura Ling is shopping a book proposal with her sister, Lisa Ling. [WSJ]
• Twitter was the victim of another denial-of-service attack yesterday. [NYT]
• Facebook is testing out something called "Facebook Lite," which may or may not be a Twitter competitor, depending whom you ask. [ABC News, Guardian]
• CBS had planned to change up this year's Emmy Awards. But then everyone complained, so now it plans to go back to the way it was. [THR]
• A launch party for a new magazine? Could it be? Really? [AdAge]

• All is not well at ABC. The hoped-for comeback of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? didn't happen and ratings have been so low, the network is now occasionally falling behind Univision. Yes, Univision. [NYT, B&C]
• The owners of Uptown magazine are in talks to acquire Vibe, which shut down in June. What they plan to do with it is anybody's guess. [AdAge]
• Tina Brown's Daily Beast is on the move: She's planning to launch a U.K. version of the Barry Diller-funded website within months. [Telegraph]
• Not every magazine in America is struggling, apparently! [Newsweek]
• Is MTV planning to leave Times Square? Quite possibly. [NYP]

All good things come, ha, to ends. In pop culture, canonizations are routinely bestowed by porn. Meet the comedic genius that's TMSleaze, starring Ron Jeremy as Harvey Levin. Featuring Speidi, Jessica Simpson/Tony Romo, Amy Winehouse, American Idol, Eminem, and LaLohan.

• The "designer dog house" that Paris Hilton had built recently—which is equipped with chandeliers and air-conditioning—cost her $325K, or considerably more than what most Americans spends on human homes. [Luxist]
• Rosie O'Donnell and her partner Kelli Carpenter-O'Donnell are not splitting up, you'll undoubtedly be relieved to hear. [People]
• Kristin Davis of Sex and the City fame has found herself caught up in a dispute over Middle Eastern politics. You didn't expect to hear that, did you? [P6]
• Did MSNBC's Keith Olbermann use some pull to snag his girlfriend a job working as a reporter for WNBC? It wouldn't be the first time! [P6]

While at the LAT, Richard Rushfield became the world's foremost expert on the inner workings of American Idol. He's currently resting up before joining Gawker later this month, but he couldn't resist weighing in on why Paula Abdul quit.

Tonight Paula Abdul announced that she's leaving American Idol. Bonnie Fuller then stepped up to call shenanigans on Paula. All of this salacious drama played out on Twitter, naturally.