Well, America's favorite shining whirligig finally got to whirling and gigging last night. Though for a big "Here are your choices, America!" debut, it certainly wasn't very graceful, was it? Actually, it was kinda downright urgly.
Well shiver me timbers! After a month and a half of people squealing in rage, sadness, and delight, of Simon being a jerk and Randy hooting and braying and Kara saying nonsense nothings, we are done with Idol auditions.
• The New York Times Co. actually turned a profit in 2009. Glory be! [NYT]
• Did you read (or hear about) Playboy's new interview with John Mayer, the one in which he managed to make himself look like even more of an idiot? Mayer's been busy today apologizing for his comments, not surprisingly.
• American Idol's ratings were up big last night. It's the Ellen effect. [TVG]
• Get ready to see ads on magazine covers; it's so happening. [AdAge]
• Another symptom of the times: While Gourmet didn't survive the great magazine meltdown, Food Network Magazine continues to be a big hit. [NYP]
• Since MTV no longer has any connection to music whatsoever, it's changed its logo. The "music television" bit is gone. And the logo has put on weight. [BC]
• The next Spider Man installment—coming July 3, 2012, just in case you happen to have your calendar in front of you—will be in 3D. Naturally. [THR]
• Speaking of things in the far-off future, Tom Cruise has signed on to star in Mission Impossible IV (coming May '11!). And in what will undoubtedly come as the best news you'll hear all week, Celine Dion returns to Las Vegas in '11.
Finally we're in Hollywood. Finally we have Ellen! Dear old Hollywood. Friendly old Ellen. Two good things. We should be happy, right? And yet... Mostly we're just so sad. Hollywood Week is just terribly, terribly cruel, isn't it?
It's finally Hollywood week! No more dancing midget ninja mimes that warble out notes in a desperate grab for fame. Now it's actually a talent competition instead of a circus sideshow. And some stood out more than others. And Ellen!
• The Jay Leno Show ends its run tonight. It was actually scheduled to conclude on Thursday, but NBC moved it up to tonight to take advantage of the lead-in from The Biggest Loser. Make of that what you will. [NYT]
• Ellen DeGeneres takes Paula Abdul's seat on American Idol tonight. [LAT]
• The second season of Jersey Shore will be set in one of the few places in America that's cheesier than the Jersey Shore: South Beach. [Movieline]
• Were CNN's ratings so lousy last week that it sent Anderson Cooper and Sanjay Gupta back to Haiti in the hopes it would give the network a boost? Hey, it's a theory! (And from CNN's co-founder and former CEO, no less.) [HP]
• A Playboy shareholder has filed a class action lawsuit against the company, claiming Hugh Hefner's been sabotaging efforts to sell the company. [TMZ]
• Sports Illustrated's Swimsuit issue has been unveiled. It's the issue that keeps the lights turned on at SI, as you probably could have guessed. [MW]
• The White Stripes are kind of ticked off that the U.S. Air Force used one of its songs in a commercial that aired during the Super Bowl. [NYT]
• A Sopranos-themed musical is not coming to Broadway. Reassuring! [NYM]
• Super Bowl XLIV made history last night: It's now the most-watched TV program in U.S. history, having bypassed the finale of M*A*S*H in 1983. [THR]
• Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have filed suit against the Rupert Murdoch's News of the World for reporting the couple was separating. [Guardian]
• Talks between Fox and Conan O'Brien seem to be moving ahead. As for the Super Bowl ad featuring Letterman and Leno, Letterman was reportedly interested in having Conan appear as well, although it didn't pan out.
• Ellen DeGeneres makes her debut on American Idol tomorrow. Meanwhile, talks to have Howard Stern replace Simon Cowell next season are progressing.
• Mixed news for the magazine business: newsstand sales fell in the second half of 2009, although the situation was even worse a year ago. [NYT, AdAge]
• Sarah Palin won't have to fly to NYC to tape her appearances on Fox News: The network is building its new "contributor" a TV set in her living room. [NYT]
• After dominating the box office for seven weeks, Avatar was dethroned by Dear John this weekend, although it remained No. 1 internationally. [MTV]
• Ads for Snickers, Doritos, and Google were big winners with Super Bowl viewers this year. As for the Motorola spot starring Megan Fox, she may be the first person in history to have had a "thumb double." [Reuters, NYT, NYM]
• Condé Nast Publications exists no more. The company will now be known simply as "Condé Nast," since the powers that be there have finally realized that people like to read stuff on the Internet every once in a while. [NYP]
• Bill O'Reilly invited Jon Stewart on his show this week. (Bold!) Unfortunately, all of Stewart's good jabs were edited out. (Not surprising!) [Gawker, NYT]
• Keith Olbermann is feuding with journalists and bloggers. Once again. [HP]
• Fashion mags struggled during the second half of '09: Sales of Vogue and Marie Claire fell by 15%, while Elle and Harper's Bazaar were flat. [NYM]
• Exits: Lifetime CEO Andrea Wong has been ousted from the network amid lackluster ratings. And the president of TV Guide Network is stepping down.
• Rumor has it Howard Stern may replace Simon Cowell on Idol. [P6, LAT]
• The cover of the new issue of SI has some people hot and bothered. [LAT]
• Magazines that tried cutting prices to boost sales? It didn't work. [AdAge]
• A rundown of the ads you can expect to see on Super Bowl Sunday. [ABC]
• Last Sunday's Grammy Awards boosted music sales this past week. [LAT]
• The Oscars are officially a month away. Mark your calendar. [The Wrap]
• It looks like Madonna and Jesus Luz haven't broken up after all. The singer and her Brazilian boy toy attended the London premiere for Tom Ford's A Single Man on Monday night and "they were all over each other" and "kissing in front of everyone," according to people who were there. So if they have broken up, well, they have a funny way of showing it. [NYDN]
• Lindsay Lohan isn't a hoarder because she has a shopping problem; it's because "a lot of it is gifted," says Dina Lohan. LiLo and her mom/party pal say they plan to donate a lot of Lindsay's "stuff" to charity and the public will be able to buy some of it on their website. So head over to lohanhouse.com in case ripped leggings and Red Bull-stained clothing is your thing. [People]
• Tiger Woods is a free man: After a month in sex rehab, he's reportedly flown home to Florida with his wife. So consider yourself warned. [Radar]
• Since things didn't work out too well with Brad, Vince, or John, Jennifer Aniston has decided that she "wants to be set up with a wealthy businessman, not a celebrity," at least according to an anonymous "insider." Somebody call Millionaire Matchmaker's Patti Stanger. Stat! [Us]
Well gang, we did it. We got through a month of auditions episodes. Many of us died, even more of us are injured or dying, but we've struggled across the finish line and next week will taste glorious Hollywood.
