· Get ready for the summer of exploitation on E! If Denise Richards or Dating Nightmares doesn't do it for ya, might we interest you in the White Oprah and her fame-starved daughter Ali? Nothing warms our cockles like the sight of a table full of sycophantic slags toasting a 14-year-old's non-existant career with champagne! [E!]
· What better way to honor Bea Arthur on her birthday than by counting down her 10 best moments? [BWE]
· Videogum is on the hunt for TWMOAT. What's that, you ask? The Worst Movie Of All-Time, natch. [Videogum]
· While the hot Muppet meme of the moment seems to be Sad Kermit singing "Needle In The Hay", we here at Defamer HQ vastly prefer Miss Piggy's tribute to "Fuck The Pain Away." [YouTube via Fimoculous]
· Larry Levine, the recording engineer who helped bring Phil Spector's "Wall Of Sound" to life, passed away at the age of 80. Roll down your windows and play The Ronettes' "Be My Baby" extra loud tonight in his honor. [LAT]

Proving our hunches that we are indeed living in Bizarro World, last night Dina Lohan, master momager/pimp and bestest friend to all her angelic children, received an award naming her Outstanding Mother of the Year. As you'll see in this clip, a ceremony celebrating super-duper moms like Dina was held in what appears to be The Roxy: Long Island Chain, crowded with cleavage-baring mothers dancing awkwardly to techno beats. Naturally the question needing an answer pronto is: why Dina? OK! nabbed an answer from the group's spokesperson: "We're just honoring celebrities' moms on Long Island...It's a list of mothers from Long Island who have raised superstar children." And how did this kooky group of "Mingling Moms" come to the decision that Dina was The One? Their President's very Scientology-like answer, plus more details on Dina's tipsy date and how the Momager herself justified the honor bestowed upon her, after the jump.

As much as we poke fun at Momager/Pimp Dina Lohan for her questionable parenting techniques and famewhore-y tactics to become just as cool and famous as her bankable daughter Lindsay, we secretly can't ignore the fact that having her as a mother might simply be loads of fun. Sure, you don't really have a role model, and you can't expect anyone to pick you up after school, but it's not like you go to school anyway! In Ali Lohan's case, you go to Las Vegas. MSNBC.com reports that Dina and Ali hit the strip to shoot scenes from their upcoming reality show Living Lohan and, from the sounds of it, had a grand ol' Britney Spears-in-garters kind of stay...

[Dina Lohan, mother of actress Lindsay and the soon to be ruined Ali, dancing a strange tarantella in Harlem while filming her reality show "Living Lohan"; image via Splash]

Is Ali Lohan's new look just a matter of spiffing up her hair and makeup for the Living Lohan camera crew, or could she be the latest victim of Ashlee Simpson Syndrome? As you'll recall, Ashlee wasn't able to escape the shadow of her big sister until she went under the knife, and now it appears that lil' Lohan might be following her lead. Some recent shots of her out and about on the red carpet show a nearly unrecognizable version of her former clean-faced, mousy-haired, age-appropriate self. After the jump, we took a look at a few before and after shots to try and figure out if Ali's new hotness is the result of a knife or if she just found herself one hell of a hairdresser.

Lindsay Lohan has been doing an awful lot of public babbling regarding her determined efforts not to appear on Momager/pimp Dina Lohan's upcoming reality show. But does her unwillingness to appear have to do with those tightwads at E!'s inability to properly grease her pockets, or is it more that Lindsay is intentionally snubbing her fame-hungry family members? The official answers behind Lindsay's refusal have yet to be revealed, but judging from her current crop of friends, we're praying to the cable gods that either E! comes up with a killer paycheck or Lindsay gives in to Dina's assualt-by-camera tactics. Mainly because Lindsay's new nightlife-traipsing buddies include Lesbian Wingwoman 2.0, a wanna-be music manager and, of course, Samantha Ronson.

Ooooh, teen star cat fight that no one but me and a few twelve year olds care about: Vanessa Hudgens, the High School Musical starlet who takes [NSFW] nude photos for her gay fake boyfriend, is apparently furious that Ali Lohan, Lindsay's fame grubbing sister, wants a part in the upcoming feature film High School Musical 3: Senior Year (they're seniors in that one!!) She's worried that all the inevitable Lohan-focused drama will steal her spotlight. She sounds like Sharpay! (kill me) [Showbiz Spy]

We are deeply saddened to report that momager, pimp and our very own white Oprah, Ms. Dina Lohan, has signed with E! to film her long-lusted after reality show. According to the network's official press release, we shall be forced to view Dina's attempts to jumpstart the other ones' (Ali and Cody) careers in showbiz, and they'll tell you why the torturous Living Lohan is necessary:

After watching her big sister Lindsay flame out at the box office, endure several stints in rehab, flee daily from the paparazzi, and get banned from parties, it's only natural that 14-year-old Ali Lohan would point a bony finger and say "Me want." "I grew up watching Lindsay," she says in an upcoming Teen Vogue interview ,"It made me want to do what she does. Just the whole vibe. Being there, being on camera, or onstage, with everybody listening to you ... it's so cool when people look up to you." Hm. Yes. Like Lindsay, lying in a gutter, asking for help. If you're curious about how this is all going to play out, Ali and family (including, most intriguingly, child eating Rose Hovickian mother Dina) are the stars of a new E! reality series that documents her fledgling acting and singing career. Sniff. [Showbiz Spy] If you're even more curious, a video interview with Ali after the jump.

Best Week Ever directs us to the Amazon page for Ali Lohan's Christmas album, Lohan Holiday. Besides the requisite jokes about Lindsay's late-night habits, there's also this verse from their version of "Have a Holly Jolly Christmas":