Dina Lohan Is This Year's Most 'Outstanding Mother', Says Cleavage-Bearing Long Island Mommy Cult
Proving our hunches that we are indeed living in Bizarro World, last night Dina Lohan, master momager/pimp and bestest friend to all her angelic children, received an award naming her Outstanding Mother of the Year. As you'll see in this clip, a ceremony celebrating super-duper moms like Dina was held in what appears to be The Roxy: Long Island Chain, crowded with cleavage-baring mothers dancing awkwardly to techno beats. Naturally the question needing an answer pronto is: why Dina? OK! nabbed an answer from the group's spokesperson: "We're just honoring celebrities' moms on Long Island...It's a list of mothers from Long Island who have raised superstar children." And how did this kooky group of "Mingling Moms" come to the decision that Dina was The One? Their President's very Scientology-like answer, plus more details on Dina's tipsy date and how the Momager herself justified the honor bestowed upon her, after the jump.
As Radar reports, Dina's plus-one was the grand matriarch of Lohan breeding: Dina's 82-year old mother, Ann Stewart, who allegedly spent most of the night drinking Chardonnay and proving Veritas really comes out In Vino: "Ann totally loved Lindsay in Parent Trap but skipped I Know Who Killed Me." Wise words, Ann. But an odd tidbit came in the form of Mingling Moms' President, who claimed Dina had won the honor after nabbing the most votes in an online "Best Mom" poll set up by the group. Though Radar notes, "No evidence of the poll actually exists on the website." Anyone else feel a rush of deja vu following yesterday's Scientology spokesperson-issued lies? In the end, all that really matters is what Dina has to say about the whole fiasco: "I was just watching Lindsay record a track for her third album a few days ago with Snoop Dogg[!]" Perfect. All moms should ensure their recently rehabbed kids go into business with the world's foremost ambassador of the use of medical marijuana. As the cult group said, "Congratulations Dina!"