"People are taking the piss out of you everyday," begins "Banksy on Advertising." The four-paragraph quote has been widely distributed on Twitter and Tumblr, with attribution given to the elusive (and still anonymous) artist Banksy.

What is the best kind of soda, all things considered? That's right: it's Diet Mtn Dew. No contest.

As this whole "internet" thing has grown more popular over the past, oh, 15 years or so, the newspaper industry has declined. That's because the newspaper industry, at some point in the past, decided to give away its product for free on the internet. They figured that somehow, someday, this would make them money. It did not. Now, we can put a figure on just how badly this bet has failed.

The atheist group American Atheists has raised enough money to start spreading the word — not to be confused with "The Word" — about atheism. Billboards declaring that God is "a myth" will go up in Muslim and Jewish communities in New York.

A federal judge ruled today that a mandate requiring tobacco companies to place on their products graphic images illustrating the dangers of smoking was in violation of free speech.

China: the "Far East," where four thousand years of cultural evolution has culminated in a battle to see whether The Mighty P'zone™ or the Big N' Tasty™ will become the national meal of choice. McDonald's has an outside-the-box new advertising strategy to woo the wary Chinese: telling them that McDonald's food is not a monstrous blight upon the concept of dining.

Cartoon-villain Republican billionaires David and Charles Koch hate the (non-right wing) press, because the press tends to point out the various villainous activities of the Koch brothers. The Kochs waged an extensive campaign to discredit Jane Mayer's 2010 New Yorker story about them. Like many despised corporations, Koch Industries set up its own PR website, KochFacts.com, to try to counter the "dishonest reporting" of various news outlets.

For years, the advertising industry has wrestled with a fundamental, metaphysical question: can images of breasts be used to sell things? The investigation continues.

Taco Bell is not going to be serving breakfast. That would be gross. Taco Bell is serving First Meal. It's the meal that comes after Fourth Meal. It's a meal that you eat at about the same time that you would eat breakfast, but which bears no resemblance to the "food" that normal humans would consume, for "breakfast." Observe:

Americans love cheez. Cheez has made Kraft the most powerful cheez corporation on earth. Now, the company is making a $50 million advertising gamble that it can get Americans to try something new: cheese.

Kim Kardashian's lawsuit against Old Navy just got juicy: To combat Kim's claim that the company damaged her "reputation" by airing an ad featuring Kardashian lookalike Melissa Molinaro, the clothier has launched an investigation of Kim's crappy reputation.

Unions are not doing well. Their membership has been plummeting for years. Their political influence is at an all time low. They're a convenient scapegoat for just about any social or economic problem plaguing America. At least they deserve some good ads.

So you finally landed your dream job, spokeswoman for online brokerage site Ameritrade. Matt Damon provides the voiceover, and you provide the smiling face. You sit up straight. You follow your cues. This could be your big break. We'll animate Ameritrade's signature lily pad later, they tell you. Trust us. It's going to be cool.

Hundreds of bloggers were bribed to write posts promoting Google Chrome in recent weeks. The scandal is only worsened by Google's excuse: The whole scheme was dreamed up by the company it hired to help make things popular on the web.

Copyranter points us to these ads, for a Chinese restaurant in Dubai. These ads just came out, in the year 2011.

Next time you're in the grocery store agonizing over which brand of molasses to buy, remember: Crosby's Molasses is the molasses brand that forces you to think about fucking an elderly woman. Again, that's Crosby's Molasses, for grandmother sex.

So, you'd like to advertise in an iPad magazine? Ha ha, sucker. Sure, you can buy an ad, right in an interactive version of a fancy Condé Nast lifestyle glossy. But you're going to pay through the nose with surcharges, because you're a mark.

Nipple-obsessed bureaucratic broadcast regulator the FCC has taken definitive action towards eliminating what they call "one of the most persistent problems of the television age." No, Howie Mandel has not been ordered executed by firing squad. The problem is "loud commercials."

By pulling its ads from TLC's All-American Muslim—a reality show in which Michigan-based Muslims ("terrorists") hug, roller-blade, dance in their middle-class driveways, and engage in other banal activities ("fight the holy war")—Lowe's Home Improvement pleased and appeased America's Islamophobic community. But now it's apologizing for having offended everyone else.

American Muslim, a TLC reality show that depicts the lives of Muslims in dangerous anti-American professions like "police officer" and "high school football coach," is obviously the most egregious example yet of creeping Sharia. So thank (the Christian) God that all-American retailer Lowe's has decided to pull advertising from the show!