Burger King is constantly getting tons of free publicity for its outrageous offensive (and wacky!) ads, which it sometimes apologizes for afterward. Could this be a purposeful strategy? Of course! But now they're fucking with the goddess Lakshmi. Bad move.

Duane Reade is hoping to change your opinion of the crappiest drugstore chain in NYC. For the first time in a long time, the company is about to launch a big brand-advertising campaign as part of an effort to "make New Yorkers think of Duane Reade as the hometown favorite." One little non-hometown detail that probably won't be referenced in the cheeky new campaign: the fact the chain is owned by Oak Hill Capital, which is controlled by Robert M. Bass, a Texas billionaire and one of George Bush's staunchest supporters during his two terms in office. [NYT]

In your woebegone Wednesday media column: the WSJ takes on the NYT's culture section in a total death match, TV networks not upset they lost $23 in ad money covering MJ, more Hobo New York Times coverage, and newspapers burn.

While you were all just hanging out last weekend swimming in a pool and smoking weed, Michael Phelps was being quietly reintroduced as a pitchman for Subway.

The Independent has a massive piece today on YouTube and how, despite having close to 350 million users worldwide per month, it's set to lose almost half a billion dollars this year. And it's all your fault, naturally.

In your sunny(!) Monday media column: Macy's costs the newspaper industry $600 million, Vogue is dreadfully low-class, The Daily Beast speaks very well of a book, and here's the name of new thing to write for: 'The Ennuist.' Haha.

There was something innocent and pure about Twitter's total lack of income. But don't worry, the microblogging startup's first advertisements are sufficiently adorable.

The spots did not come from Crispin Porter + Bogusky, Microsoft's edgy ad agency of record. Instead, they were from an agency called Bradley & Montgomery. And they were directed by Bobcat Goldthwait. Who said earlier this month:

The ad attempts to sell the new Internet Explorer Web browser on a simple premise: Your husband is probably looking at truly disgusting things on the internet, and this product will help him hide those things, from you.

Go to any function where advertising "creatives" gather, and you will see that guy: the one wearing some old Converse, or crazy purple-yellow-red-green Adidas he designed himself, online. The average old person would not think such a cool guy could be such a corporate hack, but they would be wrong! We're not here to give you list of facts about Alex Bogusky's career (he's the chairman of Crispin Porter + Bogusky, the supercool ad agency that brought you the weird Burger King ads, Microsoft's current ad campaign, and many others—basically the EDGY agency that's not too edgy for corporate behemoths)—we're just here to demonstrate to you that, yes, Alex Bogusky is that ad guy. Okay:

The Supreme Court just effectively doubled the number of Americans who have access to ad-skipping DVR technology. TV is in trouble.

In your sad Monday media column: the New York Times will limp along a little longer, Iran locks up journalists while they're engrossed in Twitter, Tim Rutten is predictable, and the television industry loses a couple billion, no biggie.

Planned Parenthood is mailing condoms to college kids in their welcome packets, which would be totally passé in developed regions of the country. But this was in Missouri!

Maybe people who have a lot of money and want to give it away? Little children who are looking for things in dark, scary tunnels? It's hard to tell.

In your overwhelmed Friday media column: Iran just arrests everyone, for reporting, Conde Nast's September prayers will not be answered, a new chairman at the FCC, and the Mark Sanford source remains at large.

Burger King is selling sandwiches with blowjobs. Various female sex symbols orgasmically consume burgers in TV ads. What next? Hardee's asks you to "Name our Holes." Hardee's executives love to fuck biscuit dough.

This sexualization of mass-produced, tongue-pleasing food will continue forever, because selling the myth of easy sex to men and the myth of being able to eat fast food while maintaining a model-esque body to women in one fell swoop is just too damn effective—especially when paired with cheap food products designed to activate our mouth's pleasure centers—because people are basically dumb animals. That burger looks gross though.
[via Adrants]

Yesterday our Hamilton Nolan blamed BK's financial woes on their "edgy" ad agency. Now tonight our pal Copyranter sent us their newest advertisement, a reeking of desperation creation he called the "most overtly blow-jobby ad I've ever seen."