America, "The World's Fanciest Nation," loves beer, it's true. But now it seems that you all want "good" beer. What ever happened to good old-fashioned bad American beer?

The music industry has shifted from a business model of "selling albums" to a business model of " sell out hard as hell and hope to get your song in an ad campaign." Now, bands can directly pimp themselves out to the Sour Patch Kids™ brand in exchange for room and board.

"A little girl saves money to buy dozens of tennis balls at Walmart, presented as wrapped gifts for nursing-home residents, who are puzzled until they realize they're meant for play during a surprise visit by an onslaught of dogs." Walmart's latest ad is fucked up.

Until recently, you might have lived a life blissfully unaware of the online #Gamergate movement. But last week, computing giant Intel pulled its ads from an independent game-development site thanks to the gaming lobby. Now that major companies are taking sides, it's time to figure it out. Let us be your guides.

What happens when you combine the editorial sensibility of Upworthy with the world's most powerful corporations and filter it all through Vice's ad agency? Collectively.org, a new site that will save the earth. Cynical? Stop being part of the problem.

Titan, a company that controls the ad space on 5,000 phone booths around New York City, quietly installed bluetooth beacons capable of automatically tracking and serving ads to nearby smartphones on hundreds of its Manhattan booths, BuzzFeed reported early this morning. Now, in the wake of BuzzFeed's report, City Hall has asked that the devices be removed.

At most media organizations, there's a "Chinese wall" between editorial and advertising operations—each department operating independently of one another. At Vice Media—marketing shop first, editorial brand second—that's not quite how it works, according to a series of emails published to Twitter by recently departed editor Charles Davis.

For many crypto-Marxist Americans, ragging on Republicans is a cherished pastime, but what do we really know about our conservative brothers and sisters? For instance, what even are Republicans? According to a new ad campaign by consulting firm Glass House Strategies, Republicans are people, primarily the kind that pose for stock photos.

You, the American consumer, are much like a mildly sedated monkey: passive; easily distracted; focused upon only the most superficial occurrences. A clothing corporation celebrates these traits in a new advertisement that will certainly catch your attention, you shallow monkey.

Thinking of buying a new home in Moscow Oblast, but still on the fence? Perhaps a cat will convince you. Sign the promissory, take the cat. Look, cute cat! Это красивая кошка! Just hold him for a sec. Awwwwwwwww. Now, do you want a fixed-rate or a 5/1 ARM?

"In a market of brands hungry for content they can own, why not opt for words written by real journalists?" writes Matt Van Hoven of "brand journalism," the latest buzzword for human-sounding ads. "Certainly it could go a long way to convince readers that what they're getting is truth, or some form of it."

Every time I drive on the New Jersey Turnpike I see one of these billboards, and every time I see one of these billboards I start getting a phantom headache. The crisp, compact jpeg here doesn't do justice to the image looming beside the highway: Clive Owen's pained gaze, caught between excesses of light and of shadow, as he shoves a lowball glass toward the viewer, like he's trying to ward something off with it.

Time Inc. has fallen on hard times. Would you believe that this once-proud magazine publishing empire is now explicitly rating its editorial employees based on how friendly their writing is to advertisers?

Axe™ is a brand of male perfume named after the tool with which most women would like to strike the young men who adorn themselves with Axe™. FYI, gentlemen, Axe™ is now about more than not getting laid.

Genetically modified agribusiness and pesticide conglomerate Monsanto has a reputation (rightly or wrongly) as one of the most evil companies in America. Here's one way they're working on their PR: by enlisting the help of Conde Nast, and Mo Rocca, and some desperate charities.

Limp Bizkit dirtbag Fred Durst is now directing advertisements for the EHarmony dating corporation.

The answer is: yes. "ROYAL MARINES: WE'RE FUCKING UNDEAD AND WE'LL GET YA, MAN."

Boyz II Men: one of the most beloved R&B groups of our youth, whose songs provided the soundtrack to the vast majority of the slow dances, graduations, and funerals of the 1990s. What are those guys up to now?

The top 100 U.S. advertisers spent $108.6 billion on advertising last year, which is why the advertising industry will never die even though it is mostly evil lies and nonsense created by self-loathing bastards for sellouts (like you and me).

Koch Industries, the mega-conglomerate controlled by the evil cartoon billionaire Koch Brothers, is rolling out a new ad campaign to "tell a story about who we are." They are: people staring listlessly at a moving assembly line. God bless free enterprise. [Ad Age]