In your bilious Friday media column: World Net Daily takes a stand for crazydom, the Page One movie dissected by everyone everywhere, Keith Olbermann's show has at least one redeeming factor, and TV advertising will never die.

Huzzah, it's the first official promo ad for Keith Olbermann's new show on Current TV—premiering June 20! Finally, someone to dispel that "heavily biased, corporate-sponsored spin." Keith Olbermann, the Adbusters of millionaire cable news pundits. [via Daily Intel]

Demon from rock-n-roll hell and grindcore director Rob Zombie has just released his latest project: a commercial for Woolite™ brand laundry detergent. "It's not like it's scary," says Zombie. That's "cool." [NYT]

Today chocolate manufacturer Cadbury released a statement apologizing for an ad that associated notorious supermodel Naomi Campbell with a chocolate bar. Campbell called the ad "racist" and said she planned to sue. Well, the apology is out of the way, but Campbell still isn't happy.

Rageaholic supermodel Naomi Campbell is considering "every option available" to stick it to Cadbury for using her name in a chocolate ad, which she finds racist:

As an American, there is no greater service that you can perform for your country than to drink vast quantities of beer. Not pussy foreign "Heineken" or "Corona" beer, the purchase of which amounts to draining the faltering American economy in order to subsidize enemy (non-US) nations. We're talking about real god damn American beer. Budweiser. Miller. The shit that G.I. Joe would drink.

For too long, Hispanic Americans have been forced to tolerate a world in which artificial food products were not advertised to them with satisfactory ferocity. No longer. You Spanish-speakin' people want some dang Kool Aid? We gotcher Kool Aid!

New York's War on Smoking has now won the battle of the public parks, sending thousands of grumpy nature-and-cigarette lovers into the packed, hazy city streets. In this shrinking smoke-friendly world, the next big thing is clear: "Snus." Really?

Dove VisibleCare body wash: "Visibly more beautiful skin." Bye-bye black skin, hello white skin! (Scrub hard!) Can this ad possibly be real? Some people think it is! We've emailed Dove's representatives for confirmation, and we'll update with their reply. If real, this could be the most (unintentionally) racist skin care product ad in... about ten months.

Hey, how about a totally unsubstantiated crazytown story, from the internet? It's about an advertising executive's penis! Oh, now you're interested. Well then, fine.

When MSNBC rolled out its new slogan "Lean Forward" last year, it was a transparent attempt to beat Fox News at its own game. (That game, for the record: news as partisan propaganda.) This is the only idea that MSNBC has. You can be sure of it, because Jeff Zucker denies it.

Aveda makes its money by selling expensive beauty products to touchy-feely yuppies, like you. And if there's one thing yuppies like you love, it's rationalizing your purchase of an expensive beauty product by telling yourself that it's helping some good cause, somehow. And if that good cause is kind of bullshit... eh, you still got the beauty product.

The browser wars are heating up again! Are there any seven unsexier words in the English language? Probably not. In any case, they are, what with Google launching an aggressive new TV campaign tonight. It's all fiendishly calculated to tug at your heartstrings while diverting eyeballs and mouse-clicks towards their Chrome.

Groupon was finished with receding political footnote Donald Trump, and so the online coupon site pulled its advertising from The Apprentice website a few days ago. By yesterday, though, the two were back in bed together thanks to a coupon.

Despite the food industry's previously stated commitment to developing healthier Pop Tarts, government bureaucrats have decided to infringe the fundamental right of good American food-sellers to market corn syrup-soaked processed corn nuggets to children, using fun cartoon characters.

Advertising isn't just a matter of putting a picture of your product up on the screen. It's a subtle psychological process of associating your product with the most powerful and appropriate metaphor. Not just blow jobs; cum-guzzling, also. Masterful. [Copyranter]

The makers of America's Beer, Budweiser, have released an ad about a soldier coming home from one of the various wars and celebrating with his family and friends in a well-lit sexy barn party stocked with Budweiser beer. That's nice. But the soldier's gay, right? The gays are wondering. The spot's two principals are the soldier and a certain guy back home, who's either his brother or a very best friend or his super gay lover. Not like they're fucking or anything.

Harry Hurt III (pictured, with pal) used to write a column in the New York Times business section called "Executive Pursuits," in which Harry Hurt went off and did something wacky and upscale and wrote about it. It always struck me as a wholly unnecessary exercise in self-absorption, which had nothing to do with business at all, except for the fact that Harry Hurt is a rich guy. Now, he's back—pioneering the use of advertising and product placement in books. Oh. Good.

Here's an ad for Canadian car dealership Dale Wurfel, which seems to be trying to sell used cars with a little (unauthorized) help from fashion designer Tom Ford. The tag line: "You know you're not the first. But do you really care?" When you put it like that, no, we don't!

The Federal Trade Commission is asking federal judges in six states to shut down a total of 10 "fake news websites" that front as credible journalism outlets but really just hype the AMAZING WEIGHT-LOSS POTENTIAL OF ACAI BERRIES ™ !!!!!