Who knows in these mixed-up times how much jewelry is too much for a man to wear? But Rick Perry wears a lot of it. Rings, bracelets, cufflinks, lapel pins—when he's not busy wowing crowds with his animated speaking style, Rick Perry loves to accessorize! Also, have you ever noticed what a fantastic dresser he is? Positively fastidious.

When Jon Stewart covered Herman Cain's sexual harassment scandal on Monday's Daily Show, the story was in its infancy. As media coverage of the allegations spread, so did the number of inconsistencies in Cain's story, and tonight Stewart took a look at the GOP presidential candidate's ever-evolving statements on the scandal.

Who leaked the Herman Cain sexual harassment allegations? isn't just Encyclopedia Brown's worst book—it's also a question that incredibly annoying people are asking, right now! Cain's living-comedy-skit campaign manager Mark Block was just on Fox News accusing the Perry campaign, in his characteristic "intense neighbor reads demands to police while keeping family hostage" way. (See above video.) Yet the Perry campaign denies Block's accusations, and suggests that the Romney campaign is the true culprit. A shocking twist! Cut to commercial! But, okay, who's the real culprit? Why not Herman Cain himself? After all, the allegations launched the guy into his biggest 24-hour fundraising stretch. So, him or Bugs Meany. [Fox News, CBS]

A third woman has accused Herman Cain of "what she considered aggressive and unwanted behavior by Herman Cain" when she worked at the Herman Cain-led National Restaurant Association in the 1990s.

Here's a new 90-seconder from the Democratic Super PAC Priorities USA highlighting all of the things that could go wrong if the country elects Satan as the next president. Or is that Mitt Romney? It's hard to tell, with all of the terror screams and thunder and all around evil atmosphere going on here.

Coltish gubernatorial pinup Ricky Perry may have raised a few million eyebrows after letting a couple purses drop out of his mouth during his remarks at a shindig thrown by Cornerstone Policy Research, a New Hampshire-based conservative think tank. But regardless of how it may have looked to you on YouTube, you were not there — and as the Good Book states, "Thou shalt not judge thy sassily sloshed presidential hopefuls based on a few hilarious minutes of delightfully cringeworthy viral video."

Over the weekend, we learned that Herman Cain faced accusations of sexual harassment while heading the National Restaurant Association in the '90s. We also saw video of a possibly inebriated (and pretty fey) Rick Perry delivering a bizarre speech in New Hampshire. On tonight's Daily Show, Jon Stewart poked fun at both Cain and Perry as he weighed what effect these mishaps will have on their presidential aspirations. And while it's still too early to know for sure, there was one thing of which Stewart was certain: "Mitt Romney is the luckiest Motherfudger on Earth."

Ah, so this is that version of Rick Perry who, according to folklore, is known to chug a full bathtub of champagne and benzos. It's his latest Iowa ad! "I'm a doer, not a talker," he says, cheerily, allowing sprightly music to plug up the holes in his otherwise hackneyed message. The man couldn't be any happier, as he skips off to a garden party in the Hundred Acre Wood.

Good news for Herman Cain: He's come up with a better response to that question about whether he's ever been accused of sexual harassment than asking the reporter the same question! Bad news: His new answer is yes.

Bumbling Republican frontrunner Herman Cain barely had a moment to enjoy a celebratory gust of second-hand smoke after squeezing ahead of the pack at the Iowa caucuses when Politico detonated a giant stink-bomb of an exclusive: Two women who had worked with Cain when he headed the National Restaurant Association in the '90s complained to co-workers and senior association officials of "inappropriate" and "sexually suggestive" behavior directed at them by Cain.

Here's a video of upscale men's workwear model Rick Perry accepting a jug of maple syrup at an event in New Hampshire. Now, we're not saying that he's definitely drunk, we're just saying, watch the whole thing. Or, if you don't have time, skip ahead to around 2:20, because that's where it starts getting really drunk. I mean, good. Really good. This is how animated GIFs get made, folks! [via Mother Jones]

Just because Herman Cain '12 made an ad featuring chief of staff Mark Block as some kind of kooky, hatless Marlboro Man does not mean that you should start smoking, or that smoking will make you look like a suave campaign operative, or any such thing. No, the takeway of that commercial was this: "let people be people," and also (and more importantly?) "Mark Block smokes."

The Jon Huntsman 2012 campaign is leveraging three of his daughters in a bold attempt to win over the youthful YouTube Parody Watcher vote! These gals have been quietly tweeting jokes about the other candidates for some time now as @Jon2012girls. And now they've made a parody of Herman Cain's chief of staff smoking ad, in which they blow bubbles instead.

We're at the point in the presidential campaign where Herman Cain was supposed to be dropping out and having a nice, leisurely tour to promote his latest motivational book. And yet here he is having to give, and screw up, all of these national media interviews all the time, as the frontrunner. Some "supporters" those supporters are, giving him all of this support! It's time to "slow down," says his campaign.

Mitt Romney has always been a bit wishy-washy. But he seems to have ramped up his say-anything-to-get-support strategy recently, like earlier this week when he totally reversed his position on unions in 24 hours. And yet Romney's GOP presidential poll numbers haven't changed much over the past year. On tonight's Daily Show, Jon Stewart put forth a theory as to why.

The Texas Tea Party Patriots, using what must be an alternative pricing model, will charge $200 for general admission to its upcoming "modified Lincoln-Douglas style debate" between Newt Gingrich and Herman Cain.

After a few masterfully terrible debate performances over the last couple of months, Team Rick Perry may just declare victory and skip out on the many, many remaining debates. He might have scheduling issues on those nights, you know? On all of those nights. Deal with it.

OHHHHHHH thank heavens, right? Finally, a real choice in this race. Floridian fameball (flameball) Dr. Terry "Burrrn Yr Koran" Jones announced Wednesday that he's tossing his mustache into this presidential race to right(-wing) the ship and "stop overspending." Other campaign goals: "Also saving us 400 billion dollars per year" (??), and "deport all illegals." Sounds like he's got Alabama and Arizona wrapped up.

When you stop to consider the sheer amount of ink spilled over one oddly placed cigarette drag, one shudders to think what the Herman Cain parsers would make of this: In "He Carried Yellow Flowers" — a Western that feels like a porn conceived after a four-day meth binge, minus the sex scenes — movie star "Nick Searcy" (he's big in Guam) punches an African-American liberal in the face, then steps off the set to address us on why we should vote for Cain. Then the creepy smiling Cain pops in, just to remind us of who the crackpot is who endorsed this message. It's not just that it's so crazy — it's that the craziness is so pathetically executed. (But it's mainly that it's so crazy.) [thehermancain/YouTube via BoingBoing]

How much does Michele Bachmann's campaign hate New Hampshire? So much, say her ex-staffers there. And now it's mailed in her ballot paperwork instead of staging the usual in-person event. How rude! New Hampshire doesn't take kindly to mail.