Yeah, so Texas poo-stepping governor Rick Perry wants to abolish some agencies that oversee ... things, and he can't always remember what those things are. But he's not going to let his poor memory stop him from becoming America's next president, so put that in your cowboy hat.

Whoever you are tonight, and whatever it is you're doing, just be glad you're not Rick Perry, whose 53-second fumble has become an instant master class in how not to intimidate your political foes in front of a live, national audience. Do you think he knows he screwed up? Yeah. He knows.

Here's Texas Governor Rick Perry, distinguishing himself once again at Wednesday night's CNBC debate:

The presidential candidates have come to Michigan, to do a slick pagan money-sucking dance on CNBC in front of the citizens of one of the more screwed states in the country. It should be great! Oh, and now Tea Party patriarch Rick Santelli will be there, asking questions. Oof. So put some dollar bills in your collar, down a jug of Blue Label, and let's kill some poors — together.

Let's call it the Rich Uncle Pennybags debate. Tonight, Our Losers will square off in their first presidential debate in weeks, hosted by CNBC. It promises to be a banner night for plutocrats, and is intended to focus entirely on economic issues — specifically, how to stop the War on Wealth. What horrors await?

Here's the problem with Rick Perry's campaign: He and his SuperPACs have all this money, but no one really likes him anymore or has any interest in re-liking him. Where's all this money he duped everyone out of early on supposed to go? As of now it looks like he'll just keep saturating Iowa teevees with his same heartland-y ads over and over.

Here's Herman Cain's campaign manager Mark Block, who may actually be more entertaining than Cain himself, telling Sean Hannity (in that grave, stilted, get-away-from-the-shed-where-I-keep-the-bodies way of his) that he's "connected the dots" regarding the multiple sexual harassment complaints against his boss. "[Accuser Karen Kraushaar's] son works at POLITICO," he says to Hannity, who asks if Block has "confirmed that." (Uh, Sean? This is the Cain campaign? Do you really think that a Cain worker would get on TV and just make shit up?) "We've confirmed that he does indeed work at POLITICO and that's his mother, yes," Block says, apparently in reference to National Journal writer Josh Kraushaar. Who isn't Karen Kraushaar's son. And who, Politico insists, doesn't work for Politico. But they would say that, wouldn't they? [Politico]

The Daily has named one of the two original women mentioned by Politico as having accused Herman Cain of sexual harassment in the 1990s.

The Wall Street Journal reports that Bill Daley, the man hired 10 months ago to turn the S.S. Obama around following the disastrous 2010 elections, is "shifting core responsibilities." Translation: He's being sidelined into a comfy "ambassadorial" position where he can't muck things up further for the beleaguered administration.

With the one and only "superlawyer" Gloria Allred by her side, former National Restaurant Association employee Sharon Bialek today shared her tale of receiving unwanted, aggressive sexual advances from Herman Cain in 1997.

You may have heard Republicans call President Obama a socialist a few times. But now Michele Bachmann is using the loaded term to attack Mitt Romney, dropping a veiled shot at an unnamed "frugal socialist" who could challenge Obama in 2012.

Here's the latest chilling Obama campaign video, "What if...?", which warns of what will happen if supporters don't start donating, knocking doors, or handing out pamphlets and stuff starting right now.

Joel Bennett, the attorney for one of the woman who accused Herman Cain of sexual harassment while he was CEO of the National Restaurant Association, says that a second woman contacted him to explore the possibility of suing Cain on similar grounds before deciding against it.

Next week's presidential debate sounds fantastic: It's Republicans, on the rich people channel CNBC, while Wall Street protests are happening all around the country! And this promo from CNBC tells us that the main topic of discussion will be, "how will the candidates end the War on Wealth?" Yes, how? With extermination camps for the poor, or at least the uppity ones? That's the litmus test, candidates.

Americans for Prosperity, the conservative group f(o)unded by that cartoonish industrial tycoon tandem known as the Koch brothers, is having a little conference in Washington this weekend called "Defending the American Dream." Herman Cain, whose campaign is essentially a wing of Americans for Prosperity, gave a big speech there today! Did he try to play down his Koch ties? Not exactly. "'I am the Koch brothers' brother from another mother!" he blared out, twice. American Dream = Defended.

It's a frustrating day for pundits! The political world just wants to see Herman Cain's rapid, painful demise, right now, so we can get on with the business of a "Gingrich surge," which can then be brought to its own rapid, painful demise, leading us to the eventual acceptance of Mitt Romney.

On tonight's Report, Stephen Colbert sifted through the latest developments in Herman Cain's sexual harassment scandal, including claims by Rush Limbaugh that the whole thing is nothing more than a racist attack on Cain perpetrated by bigoted liberals. Because Limbaugh would never say anything racist! Except that he would, and—as Colbert then demonstrated—has.

New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg addressed an international economic forum at Columbia University on Thursday, during which he sounded off against certain, nameless, intellectually substandard presidential candidates who claim not to believe in things like the theory of evolution and global warming.

Mitt Romney, when pressed by a New Hampshire editorial board about his *somewhat* contradictory opinions on top political issues over the last decade, had this to say: "I've been as consistent as human beings can be." Hmm. Really? He must be joking. Really? Oh, Mittens.

It's already been reported that one Herman Cain's sexual harassment accusers got $35,000 in her settlement. Now Politico reports that the other got $45,000. So we're zeroing in on what the so-called "cost of doing business" is.