The Washington Post's premier gossipeuse Bob Woodward said yesterday that a deal for Hillary Clinton and Joe Biden to "swap" positions in 2012 is "on the table." Can someone please present evidence for this, or just stop saying it?

Golly, isn't it coincidental that Donald Trump, who had nothing to do with that recent presidential poll he was included in, is now "seriously" considering a presidential run? It's just strange. But sure, we'll play along.

Residents of New Hampshire, site of the first 2012 presidential primary, have apparently been getting calls from pollsters asking about a possible Donald Trump candidacy. Yikes! Trump, however, denies any association with the poll. He's interested in the results, though.

There's no chance that Hillary Clinton will challenge Barack Obama in a 2012 primary. None! Stop thinking this. But Gallup has polled it anyway, and finds Obama leading her 52% to 37%. It's bad news for a certain Chicago dentist.

It's amazing how appropriate this Craziest Political Speech Ever by Phil Davison—failed candidate for treasurer of Stark County, Ohio—sounds when backed by inspirational movie music. Can Davison unseat Barack Obama in 2012? Probably.

American politics makes such little sense nowadays that any random jumble of words you put together is likely to describe a real-world situation. For example: Some Chicago dentist is currently running "Hillary 2012" TV ads in New Orleans. It's true!

While most of us are excited for serial-adulterer slob Newt Gingrich's possible presidential run, ultra-conservative Oklahoma Sen. Tom Coburn is decidedly not, saying, "He's the last person I'd vote for for president of the United States." Out of everyone!

Former Bush administration U.N. ambassador and angry flappy-mouthed war monster John Bolton has been asked, out of the blue, if he'd consider a presidential run in 2012. He can't bring himself to say "no." Oh god. Run for cover!

Mitt Romney, who sleeps in a blue blazer, red power-tie and khaki slacks, drove his ol' pickup truck to a New Hampshire fundraiser yesterday. Will this "proletarian-car" populist approach help him, as it did Sen. Scott Brown? Unlikely.

Nondescript Minnesota Gov. Tim Pawlenty is pretty much 100% going to run for president in 2012. What's his strategy to make anyone care? Apparently it's to strut around his "red-hot smoking wife" before the salivating crowds.

Jeb Bush says he will not run for president in 2012, so that's that, okay?

The 2012 election season, while allegedly two years out, is underway! (Ugh.) So get used to more of the silliness we witnessed today: some anonymous Palin and Romney aides "sparred" and Romney himself had to cool things down, on Twitter.

Most Americans want Glenn Beck to be our next president and return us to prosperity. The only hiccup? Getting him to run! Fortunately, the clown lady in this video is circulating a petition to change all that.

Every few months, Newt Gingrich says that he might run for president, and he's taking it seriously. Now that a few months have passed, Newt Gingrich is saying that he might run for president, and he's taking it seriously.

Are you one of the many Americans who can't get enough of Mike Huckabee's weekly Fox News show on... whatever day it's on? Because he's trying out a new show that will air six days a week! It's all happening.

Now that Barack Obama is the Worst President of All Time, which Republican do you most want to vote for in 2012? How about "corpulent" Mississippi Gov. Haley Barbour, eh? He's "discreetly building a complex political operation," right now!

An AP reporter got an interesting notification after signing up for psychotic Minnesota Rep. Michele Bachmann's email list this weekend: an entity called "Bachmann for Senate" wanted to thank her for subscribing! Can anything ever be just a typo?

Know how when you go to type something into Google it offers all those helpful suggestions? Here are the top 10 things that come up when people type in "Why is..." And here are the answers. Wonder no more!

It's difficult to judge, because she's so vain and blithering and not know does language English to use how. But she may, on Fox News Sunday, have made a tentative move towards a presidential run.

Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty gave a rip-roaring speech at CPAC, saying we need to "smash the window out of Big Government" with a 9-iron. Has Big Government been cheating on us...? Or CPAC wants some of that Tiger Woods SEO?