Watch out, England and Israel: It appears as though our most notorious American grifter, Sarah Palin, is heading your way in the new year. At the very least, lock up your good jewelry.

New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg tells Katie Couric that he's "not going to run for president," and there's "nothing" that could make him. "Period. End of story." That's pretty definitive, so... the media will have to keep asking him!

Barack Obama gave a definitive press conference this afternoon — excoriating Republican "hostage takers" and "sanctimonious" Democrats alike, and outlining a clear strategy for centrism. And he kicked it off by getting angry.

Failed Delaware Senate candidate Christine O'Donnell went on Good Morning America today to discuss politics with D.L. Hughley. Sure, why not? And apparently she loves Hillary Clinton enough to join the Democratic party and support her in a 2012 primary.

For about the last five years, numerous pundits have called for an independent presidential bid from NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg, perhaps with television's Joe Scarborough as a running mate. They would break through gridlock, somehow! Unfortunately, Bloomberg is terribly unpopular.

Newt Gingrich, who is still pretending to consider a presidential run, is laying down primary ground rules: No Republican debates moderated by Chris Matthews and Keith Olbermann again! Not that there was a first time, necessarily. But still!

Take note, 2012 Republican presidential candidates: Alleged pundit Meghan McCain is available as a "strategist" for the election cycle; one of you'd better snatch her up post-haste! She will help you "kick Obama's ass," as she did in 2008.

According to The Huffington Post, New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg and MSNBC host Joe Scarborough "have begun trying to figure out whether they could be an independent presidential ticket in 2012." Here's how they could win.

Four Republicans have emerged as the clear early (err, very early) frontrunners in the 2012 Republican presidential primary, according to a recently concluded series of Public Policy Polling (D) surveys. The favorite of the bunch? Not so clear.

Politico and NBC News will co-host the first 2012 Republican debate, at party overlord Ronald Reagan's presidential library.

Since being elected as Republican National Committee chairman almost two years ago, Michael Steele has survived constant calls for his resignation, only to preside over historic GOP congressional wins. His reward? Probably losing his job.

Former New York Gov. George Pataki, whom 3-4 people in the country remember, is "looking at" a possible presidential run.

2012 presidential gossip has already driven Sarah Palin into an awesome state of sarcastic fury, hours after Politico wrote — with help from anonymous operatives — that the GOP Establishment wants to destroy her. She really didn't like that article.

Sarah Palin has done wonders for Republican fundraising and enthusiasm in this low-turnout, base-determined midterm election. She's helpful, now, so the party won't dare criticize her. But that'll end! Because party leaders don't want her anywhere near their presidential nomination.

A statesmanlike Sarah Palin tells insider political outlet Entertainment Tonight that she'd run for president "if there's nobody else to do it." Very noble. But we're predicting right now that some other candidates will run, so she shouldn't sweat it.

Rudy Giuliani, a snarling monster who was nationally popular for a year or so following 9/11, says that "the door's not closed" on him running for president again in 2012. So can someone please close this door, locking him inside?

According to Senate minority leader Mitch McConnell, "The single most important thing that we," the Republicans hoping to retake Congress, "want to achieve is for President Obama to be a one-term president." Mitch! You're supposed to say "fix the economy."

Barack Obama and the Democrats are pretty unpopular, and unemployment — which correlates almost directly to presidential disapproval — isn't coming down anytime soon. So why does the White House feel so confident about Obama's reelection prospects?

Barack Obama is not a popular president! These things happen. On the other hand, there's this: He's still beating Sarah Palin 51% to 35% in a hypothetical 2012 match-up. Why not just run Todd Palin instead? He's hilarious on email.

Former Virginia Sen. George Allen, who was coasting to re-election in 2006 until he called someone, on video, the obscure racial epithet "macaca," is prepping a 2012 Senate run for his old seat! Finally, things are returning to normal.