Mitt Romney, a piece of plastic who's likely running for president again, went on The View today to talk about campaign strategy. He said his problem during 2008's campaign was that he "answered every question." Points for not laughing, Whoopi.

How would raging Tea Party Republican primary voters react to a presidential candidate who works for Barack Obama, the worst human in history? "Coldly," one might think. But Obama's ambassador to China, Republican Jon Huntsman, is going to try anyway.

Indiana Rep. Mike Pence, who has an unusually devout following among conservatives, has announced he won't run for president. Thus concludes an afternoon of speculation that began with a call to his mother.

Former Virginia Sen. George Allen, who was considered an early Republican frontrunner for the 2008 presidential election until he started throwing around obscure racial slurs in his failed 2006 Senate reelection bid, wants his seat back. Hide, minorities!

Congratulations to Mike Huckabee! He is, for at least the next few days, the frontrunner to take the 2012 Republican nomination for president. But does he even want to run? He has a mortgage to pay off, after all.

Rudy Giuliani, New York City's mayor from like a dozen years ago, told CNBC that he's "absolutely" considering another presidential run. He explained, "It's really a question of, can I play a useful role?" No, you can't. Next candidate.

Remember Rick Santorum, former top social conservative senator from Pennsylvania? Well, he's probably running for president. And he just can't stand Barack Obama's position on abortion, which is "almost remarkable for a black man" to have.

Sen. Joe Lieberman actually went through with his retirement announcement! Who knew it would ever be this easy to get rid of him? Thanks, Joe! Let's check out what he said at today's grand press conference.

What's Star Wars creator/destroyer George Lucas wrong about these days? According to Seth Rogen, who met with Lucas recently: "Lucas [talked] for... 25 minutes about how he thinks the world is gonna end in the year 2012, like, for real."

Three-time Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison will retire in 2012, instead of letting Tea Party primary voters stampede her out.

Yesterday, we noted that no Republican candidates had joined the 2012 presidential race, even though many did by this stage in the last cycle. But today someone formed an exploratory committee! He's Herman Cain. Who the hell is Herman Cain?

Mississippi Gov. Haley "Boss Hogg" Barbour, a possible presidential candidate, doesn't want to seem so racist. First he pardoned two black ladies in a kidneys-for-freedom deal. Now he's asking the state to build its long-delayed civil rights museum. [via]

By this time in the last presidential cycles, 14 candidates had declared their presidential runs. But this year, even though there's only one party with a primary field, zero have declared. What gives? The Internet demands entertainment!

Since the federal government's going to default on its debt this year, we'll all need some cheap, entertaining distractions. How about, say, a presidential race with delightful right-wing baby-farming dingbat Rep. Michele Bachmann? It could happen!

Organizing for America, the president's political operation that will eventually "morph" into his next presidential campaign, has kicked off its transition to the 2012 race with... staff layoffs. Finally! Now they're free to work for America's real savior, Mitt Romney.

Washington's annual Conservative Political Action Conference is always a major audition for Republican presidential candidates, who show up and tell interest groups whatever they want to hear. But in 2011, will the gays scare everyone away?

A small French farming village is facing an influx of UFO watchers and assorted New Age idiots who believe aliens are hiding underneath a nearby mountain, waiting for the 2012 Apocalypse. The mayor wants the army to be on call.

Presidential hopeful Haley Barbour has clarified his fond remembrance of the White Citizens Councils of the Civil Rights-era South, whose members weren't community heroes so much as they were Klansmen in suits. Barbour added today that the Councils were "indefensible."

Mississippi Gov. Haley "Boss Hogg" Barbour is a funny guy, and he should run for president. The former Washington mega-lobbyist gives great interviews. What was it like, for example, when he saw Martin Luther King Jr. as a teenager?

The Republican presidential debate schedule just got infinitely better, as the Tea Party Express will co-host a "first-of-its-kind" Tea Party debate with CNN, in September. Hot damn! We're buying a 2011 calendar, just for the pleasure of circling this date.