While books are dying and humans' vocabularies are reportedly shrinking, Merriam-Webster is at it again with their annually updated list of additions to next year's dictionary. "Selfie," "freegan," and "steampunk" made the list, as well as a handful of entertaining others.

Sports! They're for everyone. Evo Morales, the president of Bolivia, has been signed to play for a professional soccer team in his home country, which he'll play on as his schedule permits.

A Cincinnati man, his face disguised by beard, sunglasses, and hoodie, has now wandered into at least two different local newscasts, grabbing the mic and screaming "fuck her right in the pussy."

In a new book about the Koch brothers and their family empire, Dan Schulman raises allegations that Charles Koch "once resorted to a homosexual blackmail attempt to force [older brother] Frederick to sell his shares in their family company." (Click.)

Ponder now the mysteries of the primordial kinship between father and his male offspring. Some fish; some have a catch. Some dads have heart attacks and shit their pants when their sons go on a sustained campaign to scare them. This is one of those father-son relationships.

Saturday was Armed Forces Day. How did you celebrate? Oh, you didn't know? Neither did Commander-In-Chief Hussein Obummer. He was too busy celebrating International Day Against Homophobia Or Transphobia. That's according to right-wing bloggers. And they'd never steer you wrong! Right?

Burger King, purveyor of burgers for breakfast and other starchy goodness, is abandoning its "Have It Your Way" slogan after 40 years and ungodly amounts of Whoppers.

A broad issue that's arisen as an offshoot of the whole Jill Abramson-getting-fired discussion: Do successful people (in the media and elsewhere) get there mainly by luck, or by skill/ virtue/ drive/ other endearing quality? It is luck, of course. Never forget that it is mostly luck.

What will seven Tour de France victories, one giant doping scandal, and an emergency testicle removal get you? 100 million-ish bucks and one massive trump card in Cards Against Humanity.

A Phoenix man was arrested on child abuse charges after repeatedly throwing his 23-month-old daughter into a pool, in what he said was an attempt to teach her that water is dangerous.

Now that polio is out of control in Pakistan, the White House has finally decided to let it be known that the CIA is very sorry about using public-health efforts as cover in its secret war—thereby encouraging anti-vaccination violence—and we won't do it anymore. (Unless we're lying about that, as more misdirection.)

And now for a completely different take on a story that anyone who's ever ingested a piece of media is expected to have an opinion on: New York asked This American Life host Ira Glass about Jill Abramson being fired from the New York Times, and he was like, "What? Who? Who cares?"

Next time you're in the Bahamas, be safe and hire a pigeon carrier or something: according to a new report from Glenn Greenwald's The Intercept, the NSA is secretly recording and storing every single cell phone call made on the islands.

M.I.A. just released a self-directed video for the song "Double Bubble Trouble" off her 2013 album Matangi. Her record label, Universal Music Group, initially blocked the clip for "copyright grounds." But the ban has been lifted.

Free speech on campuses is dead! Didn't you hear? Leftist fascists are forcing universities to cancel commencement speakers that they find objectionable. Others are getting protested. It's awful! Where is the freedom? Actually, the freedom is in the protesting.

Anti-government protesters blow whistles and show money–which they will donate to their leader Suthep Thaugsuban–during a march through streets in Bangkok, Thailand, on Monday. Image via Sakchai Lalit/AP.

Faced with an interview with the only person on Earth who hasn't seen Game of Thrones, Peter Dinklage has just 45 seconds to recap the show so far. His answer is succinct, poetic, and totally accurate.

According to police, Lonnie Hutton, 49, was arrested last Friday night at a bar in Murfreesboro, Tenn. after drunkenly attempting to have sexual intercourse with an ATM and a wooden picnic table.

Gawker friend (and 2011 Gawker Hero) Aaron Jamison passed away from cancer in 2011. His upbeat attitude throughout his ordeal inspired many Gawker readers. Aaron's widow Kristin is now trying to raise money for weight loss surgery, for health reasons. If you are charitably inclined, you can read more here.

If you are contemplating applying for graduate school, the new, appropriately-titled book Should I Go to Grad School? might be helpful. James Franco's essay in it is definitely not.