Geoff Dyer is one of those writers who resists categorization. His books and essays are usually a hybrid of several genres: reporting, memoir, travelogues, criticism, and humor. What makes most of them great, though, is Dyer's digressive curiosity, his ability to let one realization about his ostensible topic—D.H. Lawrence, say, or a donut—drift into some other, often personal or hilarious, thought, which then drifts into something else, perhaps adding a fart joke, on and on, until somehow you're back at the original subject, with an understanding of it that would've been impossible if Dyer had taken another, more direct route.

In a first-person account published today, Talia Maselli, the Connecticut teen who asked "Diamond" Joe Biden to prom, confirms that Joe Biden has far too much time on his hands.

There are two ways to mark yourself as an unrepentant splotchy engorged asshole in a Chipotle. One is to order the quesarito at rush hour. The other is to order anything with a semiautomatic assault rifle in your arms, at the ready. One of these is going away. It's not the quesarito.

Dinesh D'Souza, onetime conservative phenom and Ann Coulter paramour, has pled guilty to federal charges that he made multiple illegal campaign donations in other people's names, including the mistress that wrecked his marriage and his presidency at a Christian college.

At 12 p.m. EDT today, the writer Geoff Dyer will drop by Gawker to talk about his new book, Another Great Day at Sea, about life on board the USS George H.W. Bush. If you're a New Yorker subscriber, you can read an excerpt from the book here.

Bored to death with their standard careers in the Bushwick street art guided tour industry, members of the disgustingly attractive and incompetent "Millennial" generation are now amusing themselves by starting oil companies. Are fossil fuels the new "molly?"

General Motors recalled another 2.7 million vehicles due to faulty ignition switches last week, bringing its total for the year to 11 million. Worse, the company apparently knew about the defects as far back as 2001, and a leaked memo revealed a list of words—including "Kevorkianesque" and "sarcophagus-like"—that GM employees aren't allowed to use to describe the recalled cars.

Appearing on the Pete Holmes Show last night, King of Queens' absurdly most-famous alum, Patton Oswalt, regaled to Holmes how his wife is not a fan of Dungeons & Dragons and him playing it. Upon learning that he had assembled a few other comedy nerdlings for a D&D group, his wife told him what's up:

Police are investigating an alleged shootout between two brothers in Chesterfield, Va. that ended with one brother being shot in the face and neck.

Jimmy Fallon, in his eternal quest to push the celebrity lip-sync-off format to its limits, invented a terrifying new challenge just for Brooklyn Nine-Nine actor and ex-NFLer Terry Crews: The celebrity nip-sync.

Your mom's favorite rapper Macklemore has taken to Tumblr to explain how he ended up performing in the costume of a Jewish caricature this past weekend, and his argument basically boils down to "Hey, remember when I made that song about gay people that one time?"

As if it was not already pernicious enough of fast food chains to create mascots for your children to feel inclined to befriend their chicken nuggets, McDonald's has traded in the workaday skeeviness of Ronald McDonald for the nightmare-inducing Happy, a giant Happy Meal box with dentures that wants to eat you.

The senior class vice-president of a high school in Georgia may be banned from her graduation ceremony for using the periodic elements to spell out "Back that ass up" in her yearbook quote.

If you ask me, trying to sell forged Damien Hirst paintings to the rich makes you the biggest class war hero since the guy who tried to sell fake wine to the rich, not someone who deserves jail time. People who buy real Damien Hirst paintings deserve jail time.

Actor Michael Jace, best known for his role as LAPD officer Julien Lowe on the The Shield, was arrested and booked on homicide charges early Tuesday morning in Los Angeles following the shooting death of his wife.

Malaysia will release raw satellite data from the Malaysia Airlines Flight 370, The Civil Aviation Department and British company Inmarsat announced today. Some family members of the passengers had demanded that the data be released to allow for independent analysis.

After gun rights advocates brought military-style assault rifles into one of their stores in Texas, food chain Chipotle, who has been romancing the literati of late, has politely requested that its customers don't bring guns into their stores.

Rocky Fisher and Jennifer Balfe were arrested yesterday in Lewiston, Idaho on suspected bank-robbing charges. Officers picked up the pair in a motel room after an anonymous tip revealed that someone matching the description of the robber was spending a lot of cash at the local casino.

After the New York Times printed an expository report on poor labor conditions on an NYU campus that was built in Abu Dhabi, the university's president John Sexton and university spokesman John Beckman have offered separate apologies for the maltreatment.

After six months of anti-government protests, the Thai military has declared martial law over the Southeast Asian country, affirming that it is not a coup. This declaration comes after the May 7 announcement that the Prime Minister and nine of her ministers were dismissed after abuse of power.