Contractions of measles—potentially deadly, eminently preventable measles—are increasing logarithmically in the United States, and they are at a 20-year high.

No two people are more obviously meant for each other than Nick Offerman and Megan Mullally. The couple stopped by Late Night With Seth Meyers to promote their first live performance together, a show called "Summer of 69." (Very important: There's no apostrophe.)

A former high-ranking attorney for the State Department and National Security Council under George W. Bush says the five Gitmo detainees traded for POW Bowe Bergdahl would have to have been freed soon anyway, so the deal was "a defensible, hold-your-nose compromise."

Fast food mega-brand and diabetic triple-threat Yum! Brands—which sells you Taco Bell, Pizza Hut, and KFC—is testing a "new stealth Asian concept" restaurant in Dallas called Banh Shop. According to Escape Hatch Dallas, the prototype store will be opened inside an old auto repair shop near the SMU campus.

George Jung, the notorious "cocaine cowboy" portrayed by Johnny Depp in Blow, has been released from prison after serving 20 years.

Why do I date white women? Black women have told me it's because I'm a sellout. The white men who can get past the mental anguish of my black penis tarnishing "their" women think I'm making some latent admission that their race has the most attractive women. White women range from those so intrigued by black men that it veers into fetish to those so reluctant to date black men that it feels more racist than preference-driven. These are generalizations, of course, but they are attitudes that I've personally encountered. Skepticism towards black men/white women relationships is a longstanding and well-documented part of our cultural fabric in America.

Every rational person in New York fears falling into an open sidewalk cellar. Now, thanks to stellar on-the-scene reporting from CBS New York, we have footage of one unlucky man stumbling headfirst over an open cellar door and into a Harlem deli's basement.

In the Age of Edward Snowden, few people expect anything but widespread surveillance. Important fact, though: the culprits aren't just the NSA. Often it's just plain old regular federal law enforcement behind the veil. And as a story at the Wall Street Journal yesterday highlighted, courts only lightly get to supervise.

Lipsync-offs are great and all, but when Jimmy Fallon has a sharp improviser like Ricky Gervais on his show, there's only one recurring segment that makes sense: Word Sneak.

James Joyce—literary titan, slayer of Victorian shibboleths, bane of schoolchildren the world over—was probably crippled and blinded by hooker-caused syphilis, according to new medical and documentary evidence uncovered by a Harvard researcher.

The prime achievement of Steve Fishman's new profile of Steven A. Cohen, the billionaire hedge fund titan tarnished by insider trading allegations, is this quote: "On vacation one year, he ran into a fellow hedge-fund manager: 'It's not fair,' he complained. 'Why me?'"

Like a nightmare come to life, passengers were trapped inside a smoke-filled, Queens-bound 7 train stuck in a tunnel near Grand Central for 20 minutes late last night.

Mornings are the goddamn worst: Hitting snooze 6 to 8 times, trying to make coffee when you haven't had any coffee yet, getting out of bed ever again. Why? Ban mornings.

A few months ago, investigative journalist Sharyl Attkisson resigned from CBS News, citing her network’s alleged fear of crossing the Obama administration. Today Attkisson reappeared on The Daily Signal, a news website bankrolled by The Heritage Foundation—a powerful conservative think tank—with a story about a government-funded research trial that may have harmed premature infants...during the George W. Bush administration.

V. Stiviano was not the only woman on the other end of ex-Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling's racist tirades and gross sexual advances. A new lawsuit filed in Los Angeles yesterday by an ex-mistress and employee of Sterling's named Maiko Maya King further charges him with inflicting racial and sexual abuse.

A new report finds that one in six teachers in big-city school districts are "chronically absent," missing more than 18 days of school per year. When you think about who they work with, it's hard to blame them.

If you've put off reading Thomas Piketty's Capital in the 21st Century, you can dip your toes in the water with Stephen Colbert's quick primer on income inequality, generational stagnation, r is greater than g, and other economic concepts all the cool kids are talking about this summer.

Police try to stop a man throwing "ghost money" into Hong Kong's Chinese liaison office on Tuesday to mark the 25th anniversary of China's June 4 crackdown on Tiananmen Square. The banners read, "Stop one-party rule in China," "Memorial," and "Demand accountability for the massacre." Image via Kin Cheung/AP.

Several soldiers who served with Bowe Bergdahl, the recently freed U.S. prisoner of war in Afghanistan, would like to tell you how to deal with that dirtbag. They don't want to get into the politics, but they have ideas. Would you like to book them for your show? Just call the Republican strategists representing them.

Not even protesters from the Westboro Baptist Church are immune to the glamour of celebrity, for the chance to smile with the very country singer they were there to yell about. Members of the church picketed outside the singer's concert Sunday night in Kansas, compelling him to post to Instagram, "Westboro Baptist Selfie!! Or west-Burro(ass) selfie. Hopefully they can hear the show out here. We'll play loud."