Egyptian TV Host Laughs Off Mass Sexual Assault as "Fun"
Allie Jones · 06/09/14 02:09PM"Generation X," the Poor Old People of the Future, Will Never Retire
Hamilton Nolan · 06/09/14 01:57PMCar Chase Suspect Now in Armed Stand-off With LAPD
Taylor Berman · 06/09/14 01:47PMA car chase in Los Angeles this morning ended with the suspect fleeing his car with a rifle and climbing to the roof of a building, where he's currently in a stand-off with the LAPD.
L.L. Cool J and T.I. Rap The Music Man at the Tonys, For Some Reason
Jay Hathaway · 06/09/14 01:35PMIn a very, er, interesting take on hip hop history, Tony Awards host and human-wolverine hybrid Hugh Jackman credited The Music Man songwriter Meredith Willson with creating "one of the very first rap songs ever," and then brought out T.I. and L.L. Cool J in an attempt to prove it.
Eccentric Hacker Millionaire Offers $5 Million to "Whistleblowers"
Michelle Dean · 06/09/14 01:26PM
The clock is running down for Kim Dotcom, the Megaupload founder whose riches and eccentricities make him a kind of hacker Howard Hughes. In a last-ditch effort to avoid extradition from New Zealand to the United States for trial, Dotcom's offering $5 million to anyone who can prove corruption in his case.
Baseball Columnist Pens Passionate Musings on Nonconsensual Touching
Adam Weinstein · 06/09/14 12:55PMJustin Bieber Baptized, Washes Away Racism
Jason Parham · 06/09/14 12:43PM
Pop megastar and recovering racist Justin Bieber was reportedly baptized—in a bathtub. TMZ is reporting that Bieber underwent "intense" Bible study with Pastor Carl Lentz over the course of the last few weeks, all of which concluded with the singer getting baptized in New York City. Despite wanting to keep the ceremony hush hush, Bieber's cover kept getting blown every time he visited a church, so he ultimately decided to take a dip in a friend's bathtub.
Armed Robber Invades a Gamer's House While She's Live on Camera
Jay Hathaway · 06/09/14 11:45AMVegas Shooters' Facebook Warnings: "I Will Willingly Die For Liberty"
Adam Weinstein · 06/09/14 11:28AMCops: Truck Driver Who Hit Tracy Morgan's Limo Hadn't Slept in 24 Hours
Jordan Sargent · 06/09/14 11:20AMSarah Hedgecock · 06/09/14 11:04AM

A young boy collects drinking water from a leaking pipeline in Jammu, India, on Monday. A heat wave has struck the northern plains of the country, with temperatures passing 113 degrees Fahrenheit in several places, leading to scarcity of water and frequent disruptions in power supply. Image via Channi Anand/AP.
Rich Juzwiak · 06/09/14 10:45AM
John Oliver Explains How FIFA Will Ruin the World Cup and Screw Brazil
Jay Hathaway · 06/09/14 10:35AMThe only thing that can match John Oliver's excitement about the World Cup, which begins this week in Brazil, is his disgust at FIFA, the corrupt organization that controls it.
Vagina Is Unwelcome Among College Faculty
Hamilton Nolan · 06/09/14 10:30AMCop Busted for Using Hidden Bathroom Cameras to Film Pooping Men
Taylor Berman · 06/09/14 10:22AMPsy and Snoop Dogg Debut Insane New Song About Hangovers
Andy Cush · 06/09/14 10:11AMYesterday, Psy and Snoop Dogg released "Hangover," a new song and accompanying video about the struggle everyone faces after a long night of drinking. As you might expect from the two lovable goofballs, it is batshit crazy.
Neighbors Say Vegas Shooters Were White Supremacists, Bundy Militants
Adam Weinstein · 06/09/14 09:45AMProliferation of Bank Branches Attributable to Douchebags
Hamilton Nolan · 06/09/14 09:34AMFallon Arm Wrestles Channing Tatum, Who's Now Going by "Dick Tugnuts"
Jay Hathaway · 06/09/14 09:30AMProfessional gigolo and miracle of modern science Channing Tatum appeared on the Tonight Show Friday night, and, like many pretenders before him, Jimmy Fallon wanted to challenge Tatum to an arm-wrestling match.









