Americans are fiercely protective of the imaginary wealth they don't have yet, and John Oliver believes that the idea that we're a nation of "haves and soon-to-haves," as Marco Rubio actually put it, explains why we perpetuate policies that have led us to near-Great-Depression levels of inequality.

A man at a Burning Man facsimile festival in Utah died after running into the ceremonial fire at the closing ceremonies on Saturday. Police are investigating the case as a suicide.

Today, MediaTakeOut—the internet’s foremost source of beyond absurd celebrity gossip with dadaist headlines—posted a story titled “GROUPIE TALES: Popular INSTAGRAM THOTTIE Spills The Tea . . . On What Makes Rapper Drake GO WILD IN BED!!! (Warning – VERY Graphic Content).” The post, and its subsequent comments, raise a number of pressing questions.

A Seattle couple returned to their condo Wednesday night to find it completely torn apart. Clothes and electronics were strewn all over the bed, their junk mail had been all been opened, and a can of paint had been poured over the toilet. "It was just trashed," Bridget O'Neill told Vocativ.

Congressman Michael Grimm is perhaps best known for threatening to throw a NY1 reporter off a balcony. He is also the bae at Staten Island sweet sixteen parties, according to teen girls' tweets, which don't lie.

On Friday, the BBC radio station 1Xtra, which bills itself as "the UK's leading black music station," released its list of the "Top 20 Most Important UK Artists In The Scene." At the top was Ed Sheeran, an acoustic guitar-toting folk-rocker who looks like Ron Weasley.

It's Bastille Day today, which means that the French are given one (and only one) day to bogart our red, white, and blue colors to celebrate the 1789 storming of the Bastille prison. Celebrate at your leisure with France's great cheeses, fine wines, and mediocre rap music. But if you're looking for something more—some bigger way to identify with French culture outside of really loving that one Juliette Binoche movie you slept through on an airplane—might I suggest an imagined trip to the newly opened Little Prince Theme Park?

Two Fruitland Park, Fla. cops have lost their jobs after an FBI source named the two as members of the Ku Klux Klan. According to WFTV, Deputy Police Chief David Borst resigned last Thursday and Cpl. George Hunnewell was fired on Friday. This isn't the first time a Fruitland Park officer has been accused of belonging to the KKK.

In December 2013, a woman commenting on an xoJane post about the sexual abuse of another woman's rock star boyfriend accused Conor Oberst, best known for his project Bright Eyes, of raping her a decade before. Now, the woman, who Oberst sued in February for libel, is recanting the whole thing.

Are motels banned in Newark, Delaware? Are fast food chains the only places in town where consenting adults can do the freak nasty in peace? First a couple was caught banging behind a Dunkin' Donuts dumpster, and now a man and woman have raised the stakes by going at it on the roof of a Chipotle just 2 blocks away.

"Pizza" is a popular type of restaurant. "Brunch" is a popular type of meal. For this reason, some pizza restaurants believe that they can serve brunch. Not true.

David Plotz, the editor-in-chief of Slate, is stepping down after six years. His deputy editor, Julia Turner, takes over the online magazine today.

Fox News has called a Facebook meme pointing out the network's abundance of white, blond-haired anchorwomen "yellow journalism" (I see what you did there) and argued that its staff is actually very diverse. Politifact found 14 blondes among Fox's female anchors and, Howard Kurtz is "relieved" to point out, a whole 12 non-blondes.

"I want people to understand why they're able to take [PrEP] right now. It's on the backs of people who have died and suffered." - A source in New York's cover story about Truvada, "Sex Without Fear." The story comes days after the WHO encouraged men who have sex with men to consider taking antiretroviral drugs.

Slavoj Žižek has not had a good weekend. He has spent it explaining just how and why he managed to plagiarize passages from a white supremacist journal, never quite the kind of thing you want to do when you are a prominent Marxist philosopher.

The General Synod of the Church of England voted Monday to allow women to become bishops. Women have been priests in the church since 1992, but legislation to make them bishops failed in 2012.

The world's greatest Peter Griffin impersonator took a wrong turn at the cafeteria and ended up warming up the crowd for a costume contest at the Allentown (Pa.) Comic Con over the weekend. He really nailed the best part of Peter Griffin doing standup: Peter Griffin laughing at his own jokes.

When Jacki decided she wanted to marry her girlfriend Christine, marriage wasn't yet legal in California, where they live. And so she hatched a plan: "I started looking into transgender," she says, as if it's a new diet or LASIK. "In the eyes of the courts, if I were to have my gender changed to male, just like that she gets my social security, she gets my pension." Jacki had a double mastectomy and her gender on her birth certificate changed to "male." She still goes by "Jacki," and Christine still refers to her as "she."

More dirt on noted horndog Robert F. Kennedy Jr.: the New York Post obtained a list of 43 women stored on his phone, which his late wife Mary Richardson reportedly suspected documented his many affairs.

Last year, 400,000 Americans stopped playing golf and 160 golf courses in this country shut down. Good.