Dirty Bird, a Welsh fried chicken company, insists its new logo is not a penis. But is it a penis? (It is a penis.)

A Texas high school cheer squad is taking its two-year battle to cheer for Jesus all the way to the state Supreme Court. The Kountze High cheerleaders—go lions!—want the right to put Bible verses on their banners. They asked the state Supreme Court on Wednesday to "recognize [their] speech as private, making any ban a violation of the First Amendment."

The Daily Telegraph ran a front-page story this morning about England's attempts to teach nursery-school kids "fundamental British values" to protect them from radical indoctrination. After all, you wouldn't want them to end up like the poor baby in the photo, pictured with two dangerous religious extremists.

The day before Julion Evans' funeral was scheduled to happen at Tampa, Florida's New Hope Missionary Baptist Church, Evans' mother reportedly got a phone call from a pastor. Because the deceased was gay, he said, the church would have to cancel the funeral.

Rich: The Gorbals is located in a place on North Six called “Space Ninety 8.” Outside, Space Ninety 8 has a list of all of its constituent businesses: Urban Outfitters, the Gorbals, Roof Deck, Gallery 98, and the Market Space. But do not be fooled: This is a giant, three floor Urban Outfitters with, like, some other shit—including a high-end restaurant in which you can eat a whole pig’s head while listening to an in-store band perform surf-rock-revival revival jams.

The primary function of the New York Post is to instill a vague fear into upstanding residents of Breezy Point, Bay Ridge, and the Upper East Side that New York City is constantly descending toward chaos, and today, its front cover accomplishes that with flying colors. The bad old days are back!

The 72-hour cease-fire ended in Gaza this morning after Hamas fired at least 18 rockets into Israel, and Israel responded with airstrikes. According to the BBC, a 12-year-old Palestinian boy was killed in a strike near Gaza City. Almost 2,000 people have died in the conflict so far, including 414 Palestinian children.

Angelito Ribero, dressed as folk saint Gauchito Gil, stands outside the San Cayetano church in Buenos Aires, Argentina. Legend holds that Gil was a 19th century outlaw who robbed the rich to give to the poor. His spirit is believed to perform miracles. Image by Natacha Pisarenko via AP.

The potential national security threat that not enough people are talking about? Babies. A toddler squeezed through the fence in front of the White House Thursday night, triggering an alarm and sending the Secret Service into lockdown mode.

A man accused of identity theft was in a federal court today after he was exposed as having impersonated Stephen G. Dickerman, a lawyer with an office in Brighton Beach, Brooklyn that has been involved in at least 12 federal cases since 2012. At his arraignment today, the man's lawyer insisted on the charade, telling the judge, "I can clarify that the name of my client is Stephen G. Dickerman."

President Obama announced tonight that he has authorized "targeted" airstrikes and humanitarian drops on Iraq. The airstrikes, Obama says, will be ordered if ISIS launches an attack on Erbil, where U.S. personnel are currently stationed. "When we have the unique capabilities to help avert a massacre, then I think the United States of America cannot turn a blind eye," he said.

Democratic Senator John Walsh announced today that he is dropping his bid for reelection in Montana amid allegations that he plagiarised a significant portion of his master's thesis at Army War College. The school is set to begin an investigation into the charges next week. In his announcement, Walsh said that accusations of plagiarism have "become a distraction."

Marilyn Hartman, described by authorities as a "serial stowaway," was arrested by police at Los Angeles International Airport for the second time this week after allegedly trying to sneak onto a flight. Hartman has been arrested by police seven times this year for making similar attempts at SFO.

A Missouri Baptist conference center is seeking a new CEO after its current leader was arrested while allegedly trying to arrange sex with a dog and an unnamed other animal on Craigslist.

The Daily Mail reports that a British man was arrested for pretending to be a ghost in a cemetery by making "wooooooh" noises and flapping his arms at mourners. The offender, Anthony Stallard, 24, was fined about $125 for the stunt.

Just moments ago, the New York Times reported that U.S. forces have begun bombing runs in the north of Iraq to give breathing space to threatened Yazidi refugees fleeing Islamic militants:

"O, Tom! Such a gas has Davy discovered... O, Tom! I have had some; it made me laugh and tingle in every toe and finger-tip. Davy has actually invented a new pleasure for which language has no name. O, Tom! I am going for more this evening; it makes one strong and so happy, so gloriously happy! O, excellent air-bag!"

On September 1, 55-year-old Peter Hancock will take over as chief executive officer at American International Group, Inc. A Bloomberg profile of Hancock published today wants you to know: This is not your daddy's AIG CEO.

China Daily reports that Metta World Peace, the basketball player formerly known as Ron Artest, has changed his name again after moving to China to play for the Sichuan Blue Whales—this time, he'll be known as "Panda Friend." World Peace denied the story was accurate:

"Do you think you need to see where you're shooting if someone's on top of you, trying to kill or rape you, while their hands are slowly squeezing your neck and they're yelling 'I'm gonna kill you'? I didn't think so." This is the NRA commentator's argument for arming the blind that the NRA just removed from its website.