I'm sitting in an office in Manhattan a few blocks from Central Park. It's a fairly typical workday, filled with emails, trips to the coffee pot, and refreshing my sites. I'm on all the good ones: Twitter, Facebook, you name it.

Last night's premiere of Showtime's Morgan Spurlock-created and -presented documentary series 7 Deadly Sins focused on gluttony. The first of the show's three short profiles featured Heart Attack Grill owner "Doctor Jon" Basso twirling his proverbial mustache at the camera and positioning himself as the bad guy the world needs.

There's just something about spiders that makes people want to burn them to death with homemade aerosol flamethrowers, even if their houses nearly burn down in the process. It happened earlier this year in Seattle, causing $60,000 in damage, and now it's occurred again in Wales.

Chanan Maister has gone two years without ever seeing his wife Elisheva, the cellist for the band Bulletproof Stockings, perform live.

J.K. Rowling sent a letter "from Dumbledore" to 15-year-old Cassidy Stay, the sole survivor of last month's tragic Texas shooting. Stay's entire family was murdered in the attack—she survived by playing dead and kept more people from being shot by calling 911. Rowling likely reached out to her because she quoted Harry Potter at her family's public memorial.

The United States has initiated airstrikes on Islamic militants in Iraq who threaten fleeing civilians. But what precisely are we attacking? Likely a lot of stuff we built, sold and shipped over there during our long war to keep Iraqis safe, at least one expert says.

Twitter is basically like pooping. We all do it. But watching someone else do it, or hearing them talk about it in detail, makes us feel weird and ashamed. Given that, here is a Reading Rainbow parody called "Tweeting Rainbow," in which LeVar Burton explains the social media equivalent of taking a dump to a group of kids.

Megan Fox doesn't eat carbs, but her Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles character April O'Neil feeds them to small turtles. How twisted is that?

Happy World Cat Day, when we celebrate the neurological/emotional deficiencies that have led us to make decades-long commitments to the feeding and care of irrational predatory sociopaths!

How much can Barack Obama's, or any president's, golf game tell you about his character? A lot, if you live around Washington, summer elsewhere, and use any of your spare fucks to give to Politico.

My favorite Aaron McGruder moment comes during this ABC Nightline interview. First airing after his incendiary "Return of the King" episode, host Cynthia McFadden sets up a clip in which a returned-from-coma Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. airs out the black community: "I had a dream...lo and behold some four decades later what have I found but a bunch of trifling, shiftless, good-for-nothing niggers." McFadden then asks, "Mr. McGruder, you have Martin Luther King saying 'the n-word.' It's going to be offensive to many people. Why?"

The first question for Victoria Jackson—Saturday Night Live alum, candidate for county commissioner—was about traffic improvements. "I don't know all of the specific details, she said, "but I'm worried about my country and so I jumped into the local government to try to help save it from socialism."

Haha... whoa there, Idris. *Eyes quickly glance down towards Idris Elba's crotch* Uhh... *Chin lowers slightly in the direction Idris Elba's crotch* Hey, Idris, ummm... *Entire head begins to gesture towards Idris Elba's crotch* Looks, like, your, uh.....

According to a statement from the Pentagon, the U.S. launched airstrikes in Iraq this morning, targeting ISIS militants. President Obama authorized the strikes just hours before. The U.S. has also reportedly banned U.S. airlines from flying in Iraq's airspace because of a "hazardous situation created by armed conflict."

Steve Buscemi is a fine actor, but he's known at least as well for being the owner of the eyes. The face. Features, it turns out, he's been blessed with since childhood.

A Georgia fourth grader was suspended from school this week after he brought a Nerf gun to class as part of a show-and-tell assignment.

Who is sexiest girl in Baltic state? Good question. Philip, a tipster, sends us the answer in an unsolicited email with the subject "Celebrity news":

"How does it feel?" the singer D'Angelo once famously asked. Feelings are elusive things. Yesterday, for instance, in linking to the news that an action figure of the Sexy Convict meme-person exists, New York magazine embedded a subheadline asking "How to feel about this?"

All the best people in the world love cats. But even the most fervent cat lover admits that they are, as a rule, useless. A cat with a clear job in life is a rare and wonderful thing. Hence our collective love of the bodega cat, whose lives are documented for us by the kind people at WNYC today.