When I graduated college I moved to a new city and wanted a low-stress job that would allow me time to focus on creative projects. I knew people who had worked for American Apparel in the past, both in sales and at the LA headquarters, so I decided to interview for a part-time position.

Penn State junior Mary Krupa is, according to her peers and WJAC-TV, the "Squirrel Whisperer." Over the course of her college career, she's developed a deep and lasting relationship with Sneezy the Squirrel, who seems to not mind the fact that Krupa likes to dress her up and take pictures of her. Sneezy is chill. Sneezy also has 20,000 fans on Facebook.

Every couple of years, this video of a woman apparently having an orgasm on a slingshot-style amusement park ride becomes a viral hit on the internet, raising the important question, "Is this slingshot ride giving women orgasms, or what?"

A monkey who stole money from a home in the Himachal Pradesh state of India reportedly began passing out that money to other people on Sunday, just for kicks! This is a cool monkey who likes to fuck with people.

Disgraced (but very rich) former Countrywide CEO Angelo Mozilo says he "didn't do anything wrong" when his company wrote all those bad mortgages that brought down the global economy. And besides—"Mozilo gives a $5 bill to each homeless person he sees on New York's Fifth Avenue" when he visits.

Bangladeshi writer Tahmima Anam has a heartbreaking editorial on Bangladesh's dismally maintained, murderous roads and waterways in today's Times: As she details, using WHO stats, at least 17,000 people die a year on Bangladesh's roads, not always while they're in vehicles.

Now that a hot summer day has finally arrived on the east coast, it is time once again for self-proclaimed fashionistas to tell men not to wear shorts. (All the men that take fashion advice from Vox.com, that is.) Let us remind you of another point: wear shorts. It's hot. Don't be ridiculous.

A Colorado woman crashed her truck while texting and driving, sending part of a metal guardrail through her thigh and buttocks and into the back of her seat.

Houston Police spent five hours this morning cleaning up a highway covered in beer after an 18-wheeler carrying dozens of cases of Busch beer and a car collided on the Katy Freeway. KHOU reports that the 18-wheeler jackknifed and rolled over, spilling the hundreds of beer cans across multiple lanes of the highway.

After this weekend's stolen nudity spree, clueless reporters across the world are wondering: where is Reddit? When is iCloud? And who is 4chan.org? Some sort of "hacker"? CNN technology analyst Brett Larson is here to identify a website.

The bizarre silver lining to this whole leaked celebrity nudes thing: a group of Redditors is so enamored with Jennifer Lawrence's naked body that they've donated thousands of dollars to the Prostate Cancer Foundation in her honor.

Sorority rush is one of the only forms of torture the U.S. still condones. It makes sense, then, that sisters would want to cut loose after completing the arduous process. University of Florida's AOPi seniors did so by taking pictures of their boobs.

As reclining-airline-seat rage sweeps the nation, it is time for some real talk. Sure, it's fun to fantasize about smashing those rude seat-reclining travelers who smash our knees. But the actual villain in all this is clear: the airline industry itself.

Russia's Federal Space Agency announced Monday that the geckos they deployed to have sex in space had completed their mission ahead of schedule and returned to Earth. Sadly, they were all dead on arrival.

A wedding in Pittsburgh's Station Square ended in a bloodied mess when three men were arrested for fighting outside of the reception late Saturday night. The groom, who was among those arrested, reportedly triggered the brawl after allegedly hitting on a pregnant reception worker and then challenging the worker's boyfriend to a fight.

Used to be Angelina Jolie showed everyone she was a wild angel by allowing the actor Billy Bob Thornton to perform acts of coitus with her and having a godawful dragon tattoo. Now that she's more mature, she has to dream up new ways to subvert our perceptions—of what a bride should wear on her wedding day; of what is and is not appropriate to do with the actor Billy Bob Thornton.

John Oliver has covered some pretty serious issues on Last Week Tonight—the situation in Ferguson, the security of the U.S. nuclear arsenal—but with his show on a break for Labor Day weekend, he addressed the least important topic of our time: YouTube comments.

Three Americans being held as prisoners in North Korea—Kenneth Bae, Matthew Todd Miller, and Jeffrey Edward Fowle—were granted surprise interviews with two American news organizations, the Associated Press and CNN, Monday. All three men described their overall humane treatment but also pleaded for Washington's intervention in setting them free. Both CNN and the Associated Press interviewed the men while North Korean officials were present, "suggesting they had been coached," the New York Times reports.

The latest skirmish in the great legroom wars of 2014 took place on a flight from New York City to Palm Beach, Florida, Monday, as the third commercial flight in just one week was diverted after passengers argued over a reclining seat.

Yesterday was Labor Day, a holiday that most Americans celebrate by going to work at their low-paid jobs. But—as unlikely as it seems—the president actually said something meaningful in his mandatory Labor Day speech yesterday.