Just as the Baby Name Critic was finishing her morning Americano, she received word that an American disc jockey who performs as "Diplo" (aka Thomas Wesley Pentz) had spawned a child.

Now, the Baby Name Critic prefers not expose her ear canals to the latest in laptop plainsong, so she is not familiar with the delectus of Mr. Diplo. A laptop, after all, is for typing blog posts and playing Snood, not composing pleasant, melodic sounds to which one can gently and non-sexually move their hips. While working or relaxing the Baby Name Critic prefers to listen to the symphony or opera. If celebrating, perhaps Sheryl Crow.

I digress. This man who goes by the moniker of Diplo, the current beau of Katy Perry, has had a son with his ex-girlfriend, and they have named the son Lazer Lee Louis Pentz, which sounds not like music but something an inebriated Murray Hill resident might say after you abscond with his taxi cab. According to Us Weekly, "Major Lazer" is the name of Mr. Diplo's "electronic music project," which has produced such odes such as "Pon de Floor" and "Bubble Butt." Little Lazer Lee Louis, baby/marketing opportunity, has a lot to live up to.

When I was born, my father worked at a pork company. I do not think he considered naming me Pork Company Finnegan, but I can't imagine that would have worked out well for anyone.

This has been Baby Name Critic.

Leah Finnegan is Gawker's Baby Name Critic.

[Photo via Getty]