Just as Anna Wintour could clearly care less about rumors that the Russian Vogue editor might be in line for her job, she's certainly not going to let the trifling matter of a global recession get in the way of what's important: expensive renovations of her estate in Mastic Beach, NY. Town planning minutes reveal that Wintour's applications to expand her gym and build a new 700-square-foot garage on the property were both approved. [Newsday]

The Times follows up on the news last week that Ivanka Trump is planning to introduce a line of lunch foods in partnership with ConAgra. So what is it that the real estate heiress is planning to offer up to busy office workers? Microwave meals called "Healthy Choice Fresh Mixers," which can be stored in a desk for up to a year with no refrigeration required. [NYT, previously]

♦ The Madonna-Guy Ritchie messiness continues: The biological father of Madonna's adopted son says he might be better off in his native country of Malawi, Ritchie supposedly told friends that having sex with Madge was like "cuddling up to a piece of gristle," Madonna has described Ritchie as a gold-digger, and the two sides aren't even close to finalizing a divorce settlement, which means this is going to continue for a long, long time. [NYDN, Mirror, NYP, SS]
♦ Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen may get married at Tavern on the Green, of all places. [P6]
♦ Sam Ronson and Lindsay Lohan got into a little fight aboard the Acela. [P6]

♦ John Thain says he expects "thousands" of job cuts will follow Merrill Lynch's merger with Bank of America. [Bloomberg]
♦ Another day, another bailout: The Netherlands will inject $13.4 billion into ING. [WSJ]
♦ GM is having difficulty acquiring Chrysler because it can't come up with the financing. [WSJ]

Yahoo's layoffs? They're now Wall Street Journal official, which means someone in upper management decided to talk to a reporter at the newspaper before Yahoo's own employees got the word. Not that there is yet any word on how many Yahoos, exactly, are losing their jobs; Yahoo managers have been ordered to cut their budgets by 15 percent, but decisions on specific jobs won't come for weeks. Once again, Yahoo's grinding bureaucracy and nice-at-all-costs culture is keeping it from making the swift decisions its business — and its workforce — needs.

Welcome home, Mark Zuckerberg! A tipster reports Facebook's 24-year-old CEO has returned to the States, on a business-class flight from London to New York, from his trip around Europe. He wore his usual North Face jacket, our tipster reports. Business class, Mark? I thought times were tough all over.

This is a rare post-OMT post, because your night editor, Ryan Tate, is off for the evening, doing whatever those people do on the West Coast. The first minute of slummy pornographer Larry Flynt's Veep-wannabe-based fantasy porn, "Who's Nailin' Palin?" is online, and it's my journalistic duty to share it with you. It's totally SFW. And bless the porny screenwriter who penned the line, "Jeepers crumpets, who could that be?" Clip after the jump.

Why else would we even go to the movies or turn on the television? Okay, there are a few other reasons, but mostly it's the sex and violence. So. What are you favorite scenes of people getting it on or having it out? Or both at once? Obviously, keep it tasteful and SFW. I'll get us going after the jump.

Yohana Banda, the biological father of Madonna's Malawi-born adopted son David, is worried about the tot's future now that David's crazy pop icon mother seems to relish fighting an ugly divorce battle in public. "I am still a poor farmer with nothing to offer, but maybe he would be better off back with us," Mr. Banda said. David's biological mother died in childbirth, and Banda, 34, has remarried and lives with his wife Flora, her daughter Tiyamike, 3, and their seven-month-old son Dingiswayo in a thatched hut. Shown a picture of David with Madonna and her manager, Banda said, "He doesn't look happy in this picture. He looks bewildered. If there is no love in the family, is there any love for him? This is a new and terrible thing to happen to him. I am too upset to think clearly. He is only three years old and he has been through so much."

Is it Bendering time yet? Hell yeah it is! A five-hour Futurama marathon just started on Comedy Central—and everyone should watch. Unless your computer and your TV are in different rooms, in which case you should keep reading Gawker. It culminates tonight at 8:00 with a brand new feature-length, er... feature, The Beast With a Billion Backs. Brand new unless you bought the DVD. Anyway, I'm psyched—I haven't bought a DVD in like two years. Trailer after the jump.

Here is Barack Obama and a few of his friends getting together under the Gateway Arch in St. Louis yesterday. "All I can say is wow," said Obama as he took the stage. Meanwhile, let's take a gander at what was going on with the 400 to 500 people who showed up to watch Sarah Palin boost for Senator Norm Coleman in Duluth, MN, the other day.

It's always fun to get slammed by a disaster and then to look back and discover that some people had been warning you about it forever. Well, The Economist has been publishing scary covers warning of DOOM for years, and they are compiled in a nifty slide show here. We've put together a tasty little sampler after the jump.

General Colin Powell was a swell guy when he was commanding the first war in Iraq. And he was just super when, as Secretary of State for George W. Bush, he sold the second war in Iraq to the United Nations. But now that he's endorsed Barack Obama for President, Powell totally cannot be trusted—and he's black! So says crybaby bastard Rush Limbaugh, anyway. Limbaugh wrote in an email (Did they take away his radio show yet?), "Secretary Powell says his endorsement is not about race. OK, fine. I am now researching his past endorsements to see if I can find all the inexperienced, very liberal, white candidates he has endorsed. I'll let you know what I come up with." As for Powell's concern that a McCain presidency would result in two more conservative appointments to the Supreme Court, Limbaugh wrote: "I was also unaware of his dislike for John Roberts, Clarence Thomas, Samuel Alito, Anthony Kennedy and Antonin Scalia. I guess he also regrets Reagan and Bush making him a four-star [general] and secretary of state and appointing his son to head the FCC. Yes, let's hear it for transformational figures." [Politico]

The highlight of Sarah Palin's career? It's not her guest spot on SNL, or her scary stump speeches in front of screaming crazy racists. It's this cover for the upcoming Tales From the Crypt comic. Sporting a hockey stick—and heaving breasts reminiscent of the comic's golden days—she asks the fleeing ghouls, "Didn't we get rid of you guts in the 50's?" It's a reference to Palin's book-banning ways, as well as to the wave of censorship that forced Crypt's original publisher to shut it down in 1955.

Cole Puffinburger, the six-year-old who was abducted from his house on Wednesday by drug dealers who had been ripped-off by his grandfather, was found wandering the streets a few miles from his Las Vegas home last night. Police say he's in "extremely good condition." Cole was taken Wednesday when three men claiming to be cops showed up at his mother's house and demanded cash from his mother and her fiance. When they said they didn't have any, the men ransacked the place and made off with the boy. An Amber Alert was issued—the first in Nevada history—but it was called off yesterday even though Cole was still missing. Police said the alert had run its course. Meanwhile, Federal Marshalls arrested Cole's grandfather, Clemens Tinnemeyer, 51, in California early Saturday, hoping he would lead them to the child's kidnappers—Mexican drug dealers from whom he'd stolen money.

We got an email from a person identifying himself as the Craigslist advertiser whose "A+" "Irish/Danish" "well-endowed" sperm could be yours just for the cost of his college education. The Aryan semen factory tells us that bids on his little swimmers have been rushing in. "So far have recieved about 250 emails containing offers. One email claiming to be from Kathy Griffin. The largest offer so far is $1.5 million." Kathy Griffin? If that is true, doesn't she realize that her overwhelmingly Irish stock will cancel out his 50% great Dane genes? So, Kathy, are you really shopping around for supersperm? Let us know! tips@gawker.com

Former Secretary of State under George W. Bush, Colin Powell, endorsed Barack Obama for President on Meet the Press this morning. Powell, a Republican and longtime friend of John McCain, said, "I think he is a transformational figure, he is a new generation coming onto the world stage, onto the American stage, and for that reason I'll be voting for Sen. Barack Obama... He's thinking that all villages have values, all towns have values, not just small towns have values." As for McCain and his supporters' straw-grasping, "terrorist" and "Muslim" talk, "I have been disappointed frankly in some of the approaches Senator McCain has taken recently... The party has moved even further to the right and Governor Palin has indicated a further rightward shift. I would have difficulty with two more conservative appointments to the Supreme Court, but that's what we'd be looking at in a McCain administration." Click through to watch the full endorsement. Click to view

On the heels of our scoop that 85-year-old Viacom boss Sumner Redstone is splitting from his wife Paula Fortunato, Page Six is reporting that Fortunato is already packing her bags and moving out. The gossip sheet even had to credit Gawker, which meant upgrading us from "a website" or "several blogs" as had been their previous M.O. Now, a new twist. A tipster suggests, "you might want to enquire [sic] as to whether certain unsolicited calls to the wife of a famous comedian/actor are behind the split." Hmmm... Is the old dog hounding some funnyman's lady? Who might it be?

If the people who comprise the American electorate ever doubted the power of their influence, they need look no further than this season of Saturday Night Live. They wanted Tina Fey as Sarah Palin. Done! So done, in fact, that we don't even have 30 Rock yet! Drunk with their newfound power, every "Joe the Plumber" and "That One" in the U.S. of A. went into last night's episode of SNL demanding two things: a cameo by the real-life Sarah Palin, and a battle royale between Mark Wahlberg and his livestock-friendly impersonator, Andy Samberg.Did they get it? Well, kind of! Sarah Palin did indeed cameo — across two sketches, even — though she uttered barely more than two dozen words. In the weekend update, she threw limpid hands in the air as Amy Poehler indulged in a Palin rap, and in the cold open, she interrupted (with the help of Walhberg and Alec Baldwin) a press conference by Fey-as-Palin that was made all the more ironic by the fact that Palin herself will ring in Election Day as the only major ticket candidate to never hold a press conference. Comedy or tragedy? You decide! Click to view

Yeah, so, this happened. The real Sarah Palin and Mark Wahlberg opened last night's Saturday Night Live, with help from Lorne Michaels and Alec Baldwin. Stiff discomfort reigned. But at least Tina Fey was still her usual hysterical self, and was only exposed to the actual Palin in passing. That, plus Palin on Weekend Update, after the jump. Click to view