God, John McCain is just sick of running for president. Even in the cozy environs of Fox News Sunday, questioned by the friendly Chris Wallace, he's absolutely unable to justify to himself the various hideous missteps of his miserable campaign. That Sarah Palin pick? Well, he half-heartedly argues, it'll piss off the feminists. What a great reason to make her your successor, John. And then he offers, on the subject of Governor Palin's selection, the type of "joke" that is utterly serious: "as a cold political calculation, I could not be more pleased." Ugh.

So, have you been keeping up with these two laid-off 20-something investment bankers who are now giving you their unfiltered perspective online at Bankergonebroke.com? With their newfound free time, they turn up hidden gems about life in the gritty city: "Trader Joe’s at 14th St and 3rd Ave is an oasis in the desert of the Manhattan eating scene," they discover. "At TJ’s, you can find natural organic snacks along with delicious easy to prepare frozen meals. Surprisingly, these meals are also relatively healthy and best of all, cheap." Just goes to show that the best and the brightest can thrive in any environment.

Tom Cruise spending some quality time with Suri over the weekend... Katie Holmes leaving her building in sunglasses and a scarf ... Michelle Williams and daughter Matilda bundled up for a walk in Brooklyn ... Sarah Jessica Parker taking a stroll with her son and dog ... Mariah Carey getting out of a car at an event in Midtown ... Uma Thurman walking with boyfriend Arki Busson ... Alec Baldwin and Elvis Mitchell attending the Hamptons International Film Festival's Golden Starfish Awards ... and Keira Knightly standing on the set of her new movie in SoHo, and later snuggling up with her boyfriend Rupert Friend.

Joergen Geerds' epic New York panoramas are on display this Friday in Newark. For those who prefer to look at the Hudson than cross the river, more modest versions of the photographer's immaculately stitched nighttime vistas are on the web. Check New York Panorama and Luminous New York-or click through on the image above.

My constant raving about The Examiner is has paid off: The Chronicle now magically appears on my doorstep, 13 floors up, every morning. My neighbor doesn't get it, just me. Influencer marketing, or is the Chron trying to pump up its subscription numbers in Pacific Heights? I hate to admit it, but I might actually open the paper if I knew Violet Blue was hiding in there.

Unfortunately for dealers and artists who have become accustomed to wealthy collectors competing with each other to drop millions on contemporary art, now that everyone is tightening the purse strings, the power balance has shifted: "Before, collectors had to take whatever art they could get from dealers and auction houses," says one dealer, "but now those collectors are saying, 'Kneel down and ask nicely.'"

And you thought everyone who worked in the mortgage industry was screwed. A "Manhattan mortgage mogul" paid $400,000 last week for two "personal seat licenses," which will give him the right to buy the two best Jets season tickets at the new stadium, which is scheduled to open in 2010. Sound like a lot? In his defense, the purchase does come with free food and parking. [NYP]

The TechCrunch Layoff Tracker is a handy reference tool for checking who has or hasn't done the mandatory 20% staff reduction this month. Like CrunchBase, it's a handy resource for looking up baseball stats on Web 2.0 team owners, to predict who may or may not catch the ball this time. (I saw W over the weekend. Bear with me.) What's missing from the Layoff Tracker?Stories. Companies now submit canned layoff rumors to TechCrunch, Valleywag and other sites. They hope to control the story, the way W's pimple-faced speechwriters leaked Bush's "Axis of Evil" text to their moles at the big newspapers. Look at the Source column on TechCrunch's list. Source: TechCrunch. Source: TechCrunch. Source: TechCrunch. Do you think Iron Mike Arrington is hiding behind the potted plants in your office? I hope he makes good on that threat to buy Fucked Company, so he can report Web 2.0 both coming and going.

Jim Cramer, CNBC's chief stock shouter and generally erratic personality, has at least one thing going for him: he owns up to his mistakes. Which are legion! It makes him a more sympathetic figure than he would be if he gave equally bad advice without appearing close to tears so often. But Cramer also stands by his advice that may yet prove to be wrong. Earlier this month he told everyone to yank all their money for the next five years out of the market. “It was one of the greatest calls of my life,” he told the NYT today. “And I’ve been pilloried for it.” Really? So far, Cramer's been "pilloried" more for the calls that he definitively got wrong, and for being a huge bull in general right up until the bottom fell out of the market. The reaction to his "pull your money out" rant was more slack-jawed amazement at how he could totally flip his entire investment philosophy without blinking. And, you know, at how he was about to cry. He may turn out to be right! We'll see in five years. I guess you can't expect him to know what the public thinks:

[Actress Sarah Jessica Parker with her husband Matthew Broderick at the Broadway Voices for Change Benefit Concert, which she hosted, last night; image via INF]

It's not just porn companies, beauty salons, hotels, action figure makers, and costume manufacturers cashing in on Sarah Palin: Manhattan Mini-Storage has managed to find a way to get into the act, too. [Politico]

• Actress Lindsay Lohan and her deejay girlfriend Samantha Ronson totes got in fight on the Acela train to Washington DC. Supposedly Lindsay, who keeps saying mean things about Sarah Palin, hissed quietly to Sam: "I do what's good for you, not what's best for both of us." [P6]

Boy, Christopher Buckley's life sucks, he revealed in the Sunday Times to Sheryl Gay Stolberg. His dad and mom died. And oh, also, all the blogs and the New York Post reported on the son he had out of wedlock with his former book publicist and how Wm F. Buckley excluded this child from his will. And then Buckley endorsed Barack Obama and the National Review fired him! All this happened after his dad, who was kind of a famous asshole, died, and maybe now Chris Buckley is trying to be less of an asshole? As he says:

Although the fortunes of Russian oligarchs have shrunk a tad in the past few weeks— the richest of them all, scandal-hit Oleg Deripaska, may be forced to give up a stake in his mining empire if he doesn't come up with $2 billion in the next few days—that's no reason to stop lavishing attention on the new breed of Russian it-girls or "tusovshchitsa." The London Times brings us up to speed on the women who have taken full advantage of their country's sudden wealth to step into the limelight, and who are unlikely to want to relinquish it just because there are slightly fewer billions floating around.

You may have noticed that a large percentage of flat surfaces in America are currently occupied by those vaguely enraging tri-panel HSBC ads, where identical images are given different captions to prove that—I suppose—HSBC does not believe in a Kantian sense of moral absolutism. "A child: Love. Responsibility. Welfare Fraud." Now the bank is sponsoring this week's entire issue of New York magazine, meaning you'll have more than a dozen new chances to soak in HSBC's triumvirates of relativism. But considering the timing, it's worthwhile to ask: "Banks sponsoring entire issues: Smart. The Future. Monumental Fuckup?" This issue has been "in the works for several months," meaning that the bank sure as hell didn't know it would be running in the midst of The Great Depression Pt. 2. HSBC says it's all very "timely and appropriate." Mm hmm. Regardless of the intent, the real question is, is this sort of thing wise? With a bad economic outlook for advertising in general, publications themselves certainly hope so. Banks are mostly wandering trying every possible ad strategy right now—from comedy to doomsaying—in search of something that's effective. They don't really know what to do. Shhh! But! The one thing we know is that the proliferation of media makes it increasingly hard for advertisers to get their messages out. So buying all the ad space in a magazine or on a website is probably just going to gain favor as a tactic. They just need to make sure they're not buying it in something that's about to fold. That would be embarrassing. [NYT]

Brr, it's cold in here. There must be some blind items in the atmosphere. (I apologize.) But seriously, it is cold this morning and there are a bunch of blind items. After the jump we have a TV star secretly dating not one but two dudes, a cradle robbing A lister, a TV show ruining America's reputation abroad (even more), crazy models, a nasty divorce, and a pop star who's about to be outed. 1) "Which handsome TV pin-up is secretly seeing two guys behind his unsuspecting girlfriend's back? The trio have been enjoying a string of sordid romps during breaks in filming." [Mirror] 2) "So, earlier this week, we had an A lister who was spotted ignoring his companion. Well,, the reason he may be ignoring her is that he is having a thing with a VERY much younger than him C list film actress who co-stars in a brand new film that stars a guy from one of my favorite television shows." [CDaN] 3) "This is an unusual one. Just the name of a show rather than a person. What brand new television show, filmed outside the US, has pretty much ruined it for all companies that want to film there in the future. The reason? The crew working the show had never been treated as badly in terms of verbal abuse, lack of respect and working conditions. In addition, a local girl was severely burnt in the face and upper body when a light exploded on set. By way of compensation she was offered a job in a city 300 miles away from the village where she has lived her whole life. Obviously she could not do it, and the production company just didn't care. It gave her one option, and one option only." [CDaN] 4) "What singer and I use that term loosely is running out of money fast? The reason? Her fairly new husband is now acting as her business manager and using her bank account as his own personal ATM. In the short time they have been married she has lost almost $5M all because of him." [CDaN] 5) "Bar staff at one Mayfair hotel were treated to the sight of which supermodel getting very drunk and flirty in the bar? She started to lunge at the cutest boys behind the bar to try and drag them up to her room but was escorted out by management when things got really out of hand." [BlindGossip] 6) "Which divorce will get even more complicated when multiple affairs are uncovered? Everyone thinks that one party was primarily responsible because they were out of control and having an affair. The truth is that BOTH were having affairs. The couple wants to hustle the divorce process along, but once the paramours start coming out of the woodwork and talking, it’s going to get very complicated and very ugly and very expensive." [BlindGossip] 7) "Which supermodel of yore is now a complete alcoholic? This is something of an improvement as a visitor to her house once noted that there were loads of wraps of coke lying around her house, some within easy reach of her toddler! No, it isn’t the one you think." [BlindGossip] 8) "We thought the days when it was normal for the tabloids to “out” male pop stars was about over. And yet we hear that one of the [tabs] is looking to do just that. It’s sad to think that the sexuality of a star of teen pop and musical theatre is that interesting or surprising. Let’s hope they change their minds." [BlindGossip]

The Post followed up over the weekend on our scoop last Friday that Carl Icahn is in the process of selling his 177-foot yacht for $37.5 million. Despite the fact he's taken a beating in recent months—his Icahn Enterprises is down 76 percent this year and he's lost a fortune with investments in Motorola and Yahoo!—Icahn's yacht broker claims the billionaire is selling the floating paradise to buy an even bigger yacht, which he plans to rent out to others to cover the operating costs. Who knew there are lots of people in the market these days for $250K-a-week yacht rentals? [NYP]

Are you a weary office drone who chokes down a dry, overpriced sandwich from the local deli in front of your computer every day, wishing that you could take a full hour to relax and eat some quality food for once in your miserable life? Well the ConAgra corporation feels your pain! And in order to help you they've enlisted someone you, the little people, can look up to: Ivanka Trump. She is using a modern "blog" to reach all the depressed, overworked potential ConAgra lunch customers! It all began last week, when Ivanka, daughter of The Donald and main squeeze of The Jared Kushner, informed the public via some blog that she would soon be setting up a "lunch trade" to revitalize your boring existence:

If you've had your doubts about the security measures in place at the nation's airports, you may not be too happy to hear that it's actually much worse than you ever imagined. In the November issue of The Atlantic, Jeffrey Goldberg shows you how he managed to get by the TSA with fake boarding passes, terrorist manuals packed in his carry-on, and liquid strapped to his chest. [Atlantic]

Did you know that last Friday marked Eliot and Silda Spitzer's 21st wedding anniversary? Neither did we! Fortunately, the Daily News was thoughtful enough to send a reporter to cover the momentous occasion, who found the couple celebrating over breakfast at E.A.T on the Upper East Side: "She had toast. He had oatmeal. They shared laughs." Don't forget: breakfast is the most important meal of the day! [NYDN]