Airport officials in Palm Beach County hate Donald Trump so much they intentionally route airplanes over Donald Trump's house, Donald Trump says.

A Chinese millionaire is suing a well-known Malibu real estate broker to the stars, claiming the broker tricked him into buying a $12.25 million dollar home in 2007 by blatantly lying about the square footage. Stepping in on behalf of similarly vulnerable consumers, one might not be surprised to learn, is the venerable New York Times real estate section.

The new Charlie Hebdo cover is fraught with meaning... and dicks.

A former bartender at John Boehner's country club was indicted last week after he allegedly admitted he was planning to murder the politician.

Lawyers for alleged Boston bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev want his criminal trial suspended until public starts to forget about the "extraordinarily prejudicial" Charlie Hebdo attacks last week.

It turns out the seething, misplaced rage of the NYPD that has been brewing since the murder of officers Rafael Ramos and Wenjian Liu last month isn't directed solely at the citizens of New York City and Mayor Bill de Blasio. Today at a Patrolmen's Benevolent Association meeting in Queens led by union president and spoiled ham sandwich Patrick Lynch, members of New York's finest turned on each other, shouting and shoving each other over whether or not the department should be waiting around for an apology from de Blasio.

Three essays from American public school teachers.

Defamer "Fuckkkkkk Yasssssss" Says Miley Cyrus, Baring Her Nipples to God | Justice Like Everything in Brooklyn, the Nets Are For Sale, Too Expensive | TKTK There's a Hidden Dick on the New Charlie Hebdo Cover | Newsfeed Montana Cop Breaks Down in Tears After Shooting Unarmed Man

Chris Brown, an emphatic "fuck you" from God to humanity, involuntarily turtled up on stage when five people were shot during a San Jose nightclub appearance early Sunday morning. Now he's voluntarily turtling up in life by refusing to play any clubs he deems "too hood," TMZ reports.

On April 14, Billings, Montana police officer Grant Morrison shot and killed a robbery suspect after the suspect failed to keep his hands visible during a traffic stop. Seconds later, a dashboard camera recorded Morrison breaking down in tears after finding out that the suspect—38-year-old Richard Ramirez—was unarmed.

Critics haven't been especially kind to Disney's adaptation of Stephen Sondheim's musical Into the Woods. But children will listen.

New video has emerged of the Kouachi brothers' shootout with police following their deadly attack at the Charlie Hebdo offices. The video shows Cherif and Said Kouachi shouting, "We are avenging the prophet Muhammad!" and calmly reloading their assault rifles before driving off. Seconds later, a police car approaches and the brothers open fire, forcing the police car to reverse. One brother continues to drive as the other leans out to window to fire, and the two eventually escape.

A Fort Hood, Texas soldier was found dead in the yard outside of his apartment today, the military base confirmed. The as-yet unidentified man was part of a group of 87 soldiers in isolation following their return to the U.S. from West Africa Jan. 7.

Spot the difference!

A billboard of mysterious provenance has gone up along Interstate 59 near Birmingham that simply declares, "DIVERSITY MEANS ¶ Chasing Down The ¶ Last White Person ¶ #white genocide."

BBC Foreign Correspondent Fergal Keane was given an advanced copy of this week's Charlie Hebdo. Judging from Keane's description of the issue, the magazine contains about what you'd expect: crude caricatures of Muhammad, a woman lifting her burka to show her naked body, sexual images of the pope, cartoons about ISIS, and more. Keane's tweets about the issue are embedded below:

Eminem granted a terminally ill teen's dying wish earlier this week, showing up for a secret visit Sunday night.

Remember: Gawker is trying out a new publishing format. Read about it here. Happening across the Gawker blogs: Review How Disney's Into the Woods Manages to Stay True to Sondheim | Defamer Jessica Chastain Reveals Beautiful Ex-Face On Instagram | Newsfeed "Totally Urbanized" Dog Takes Bus to the Park All by Herself

For years, Twitter has been terrorized by the ponderous musings of a person pretending to be a fridge in the offices of The New York Times. When will we learn its identity?