Thick-necked celebrity son Luke Russert is having an Inauguration Eve party! For that black guy who won! Would you like to go? Here is the invitation.

With rumors flying about how much time Patrick Swayze had left after his pancreatic cancer diagnosis, the actor sat down with Barbara Walters to come clean.

It sounds like the perfect pastime for anyone obsessed with staying young who also happens to enjoy a little light masochism. "Extreme cryotherapy" is like an anti-sauna: You enter a chamber that's chilled to 216 degrees below freezing, which is "nearly 100 degrees colder than the lowest natural temperature ever recorded on Earth." Immediately, as ABC reporter Nick Watt discovers, you feel like your heart is "about to explode.... mixed with a strange euphoria." While remaining in the chamber longer than two minutes will quite possibly kill you, if you do survive, your skin ought to look a bit younger, which is obviously totally worth the risk of sudden organ failure.

As the mobs of newly unemployed people tire of eating squirrel, they determine to do anything necessary to land that next job. Even if it means cheating on the world's easiest "personality test":

Cops are leaking details of their investigation into incoming State Senator Hiram Monserrate's little face-slashing incident.

Here we were thinking that the nation's porn industry was recession-proof. Guess not! According to TMZ, Joe Francis and Larry Flynt are now seeking a $5 billion bailout for the adult entertainment industry since X-rated DVD sales are down 22 percent from a year ago. "Congress seems willing to help shore up our nation's most important businesses; we feel we deserve the same consideration," Francis explained, adding that he plans to head to Capitol Hill to make his appeal in person. Get ready for record ratings, C-SPAN! [TMZ]

Richard Prince's appropriation art has long been popular with big-name collectors, but there's at least one person seeing red over Prince's most recent works, which went on display at Larry Gagosian's gallery last month and are featured in a new book by Rizzoli. Photographer Patrick Cariou filed a lawsuit against Prince, Gagosian, and Rizzoli last week for using a number of his photographs in Prince's "Canal Zone" exhibition without his consent, pics that Cariou alleges first appeared in his 2000 book, Yes Rasta. Prince, of course, has spent decades using other images in his works. What's different this time around? Cariou says that in the past Prince has typically relied on "anonymous commercial imagery." This time, though, he took advantage of Cariou's hard work since the photos in question were derived from the "ten years he spent in the secluded mountains of Jamaica, gaining access to, living and working with, and earning the trust of the Rastafarians who are the subjects of Yes Rasta." There's one party, though, who we imagine is very happy to have avoided any further legal trouble: disgraced author James Frey, who penned the text in Prince's book, but isn't named in the lawsuit. You can review the full suit for yourself below.

Movie idea: the daughter of Jewish refugees flees Europe for Wall Street, strikes it rich, gains billionaire mobster clients, but is then forced into hiding by a deal gone wrong. Bonus: it's a true story.

Infallible God that she is, Oprah never makes a mistake. No, what happens is that people make mistakes near her and then her gravitational pull forces them close to her. Like Herman Rosenblat's lying!

Say goodbye to free WiFi in Central Park. The service has become the latest casualty of the recession, now that city officials say they can no longer afford the expense of maintaining the network without any a sponsor willing to foot the bill. On the upside, you probably won't notice its absence for a while, since there aren't too many people sitting in Central Park with their laptops out in the middle of winter. [Crain's]

Fox News' Greta Van Susteren is Sarah Palin's close friend and kitchen buddy, and she's not about to stand back and let CNN slanderously accuse Palin of "falling from grace" last year. Huh.

We're but days into a new year, but already a landmark human rights milestone has been reached: Straight men who secretly wear pantyhose are finally stepping out of the shadows and embracing their long-stigmatized choice. Yes, the era of "mantyhose" is upon us, and not a second too soon for guys like Mack, 35, who for years "wore women's pantyhose under his clothes to keep him warm while he worked as a landscaper," but now can wear special men's tights like Comfilon's Activeskin Legwear for Men every day, even though he doesn't actually work outdoors any longer. They're just nice and comfortable, OK?

We finally learned who Bush booked in the Blair House instead of letting the Obamas stay there. And—surprise!—it's a major-league asshole.

Prosecutors seeking to revoke Bernie Madoff's bail have submitted a list of gifts that he allegedly sent out on Christmas Eve to family and friends. There's still at least one package missing, though (and there may be others), so if you get a package in the mail with the return address of 133 East 64th Street and you open it up to find, say, a gently-used diamond watch, please contact the FBI. Thanks! [NYT]

[Blake Lively filming that "The Amazing Gossip Brothers Detective Agency" show she's on or whatever in St. Louis or Central Park or something; image via Splash]

Today we just have lots of stuff about hookers. It's sort of sad, really. Oh and something about bad breath.

When you woke up this morning, you never imagined that today would be the day when you'd be able to get rid of that boring ringtone on your cell phone and replace it with the voice of Ms. Anna Wintour herself, did you? Well, you're in luck! We're pleased to announce that the Vogue editor is now available in ringtone format (click on her photo to download), which features Anna dispensing populist fashion advice that you shouldn't take to heart for a moment. To balance the scales a bit, though, we've also created a more sensible André Leon Talley ringtone for you. Andre's wise advice and instructions on how to make these free ringtones work on your phone after the jump!

After all the "banning" bullshit, NBC had Ann Coulter on the Today show this morning. She is that person you didn't want to invite to the party, but did, and then wished you hadn't.

Ron Perelman may be selling his 190-foot yacht for $67 million, but the billionaire mogul isn't dry-docking the ship until a buyer comes along: Daniel Benedict and Andrew Saffir report that they spent New Year's Eve aboard the "beyond chic" Ultima III off the coast of St. Bart's. "It's the only place we ever want to be on New Year's Eve," the duo tell Fashion Week Daily. Take heart, gentlemen: If the economy continues to spiral downward, Perelman should still be in possession of the boat to ring in 2010. [FWD]

For any mere mortal with an unfamous last name, now would be about the worst time to launch a new business. But no such earthly considerations apply when you're fashion royalty like Moises de la Renta, Oscar de la Renta's adopted son, who tells Paper's Paul Johnson-Calderon that he's now working on a womenswear label, MDLR, as well as starting up a small design firm or "hub." PJC also reveals that Moises is an "uber-talented photographer," which makes it all the sadder that his relationship with camera-obsessed social Genevieve Jones didn't last long enough to earn her a thick portfolio of glossy pics.