[Actress Uma Thurman at Sundance; image via WENN]

When there are no more Oscars, and there is no more Sundance, there will always be the phenomena behind Twilight. And Dakota Fanning will walk among them.

Wow, the intoxication fatigue of the inauguration really wears reporters down to babbling idiots. Witness this wacky error reel from a single episode of Anderson Cooper's show yesterday! Amazing. Red Bull gives you wings, AC.

Marisa Tomei, j'accuse! After claiming to have dozed through the Golden Globe nominations, the Wrestler actress pulled the exact same card today for the Oscar shortlist. Which other nominees feigned ignorance?

[Submit Gawker Stalker sightings to stalker@gawker.com] Jan. 22 @ 3 p.m. Bjork in a really cool multi-colored shawl - which is why I looked her way - carrying a white cloth shopping bag.

In the spirit of fairness for those many times we called the Academy out for its general Oscar-nominating ineptitude, let's all commend its members' fine taste today in snubbing the utterly despicable Revolutionary Road.

Well now, the "Why did Caroline Kennedy Drop Out?" parlor game grows ever more interesting! The latest reasons being floated: nanny issues, tax issues, and all the dang gossip on this very website:

Ted Forstmann and Padma Lakshmi walking into Madison Square Garden last night to attend the Knicks game. [Splash News/CelebGuru via GS]

Ratings: Lie To Me can't quite get Lost. [THR]

• Scott Conant says he has no plans to take over the Wakiya space. [RG]
• Photos from last night's Citymeals-on-Wheels tasting event. [GS, MM]
• Madaleine Mae on the UWS: closed temporarily or gone for good? [Eater]
• The legal problems at Hawaiian Tropic Zone are getting worse. [NYDN]
• Football haters rejoice: Kyotofu is throwing an anti-Super Bowl party. [GS]
• Nolita's Lovely Day will be back in business beginning tomorrow. [Paper]
• David Chang's Momofuku showed up on last night's Real World. [GS]

What will the Obama years mean for Fox News? Plenty of MSNBC bashing; Rush Limbaugh martyrdom; and conservative think tank hacks complimenting conservative media hacks. This video compilation foreshadows four years of fairness and balance.

The Slapfight Heard 'Round The World remains the preeminent myth of this year's festival, thanks in part to a dramatization featuring Jeff "The Dude" Dowd and Black Dynamite star Michael Jai White.

A tipster is hearing from inside the Googleplex that the company, which is set to report earnings today, could lay off 5 percent of its engineering staff.

Stephanie LaCava, the young Vogue writer and lit society socialite, has penned a "novel" about a rich girl spending high school in Paris. Someone's slipped us a draft. Let's take a look...

Those interested in pissing off their neighbors could learn a thing or two from Russian mogul Valery Kogan and his wife Olga. The two purchased a 20,000-square-foot Greenwich mansion back in 2005, then infuriated neighbors by announcing plans in May 2008 to tear it down and build a new 27,000-square-foot palace—replete with 26 toilets—in its place. That plan was rejected by the Greenwich planning commission, which led the Kogans to propose a somewhat more modest plan, which called for a mere 21,000-square-feet of living space and 15 bathrooms.

Renee D. Jennings emails to let us know she is the "Ultimate Obama Supporter"—though she couldn't attend the inauguration, she got this tattoo last night. Free! What a... happy, happy thing.

· Mark Ruffalo's directorial debut—Sympathy for Delicious—is back in productions after falling into limbo following the shooting death of his brother. Orlando Bloom takes over for the role vacated by James Franco. [THR]

Did something about Eric Roth's screenplay for The Curious Case of Benjamin Button remind you of an earlier success of his called Forrest Gump? You're not alone.

In your pleasant Thursday media column: Jay Mariotti is an asshole, Teens can't read, checks are bouncing, and more:

New York City's unemployment rate jumped to 7.2 percent in December from 6.2 percent in November. According to the Department of Labor, the unemployment rate is now at its highest level since July 2004. Feel free to listen to Beyoncé's "Naughty Girl" a few times if you'd like to achieve the full July 2004 time machine effect. [City Room]