As dismaying as it is when environmentalists' paranoid doom-mongering is shown to have some basis in reality, a new study has revealed that exposure to "perfluorinated chemicals" can cause fertility problems. PFCs are also found in various products including non-stick pans, face creams, shampoo, and nail polish. The obvious solution? Don't ever cook for yourself, seek out safer, more eco-friendly beauty products, and if that means boosting the income of Kate Hudson, well, we'll all just have to learn to live with that. [Bloomberg]

A dead body encased in solid ice for who knows how long was found—with only the feet sticking out—in an elevator shaft in a warehouse. In Detroit, obviously. By a reporter. One we know!

Two weeks ago, we pointed out one of the most ridiculous things that embattled Citigroup was spending money on as the bank struggled to remain solvent: the collection of fantastic perks being doled out to Sandy Weill, the company's former chairman and chief executive, a retirement package that included trips on the Citi jet, a full-time car and driver, and a 10-year lease on office space in the GM building. Today we take our hat off to Weill: The Post reports that he's given it all up. The company announced yesterday that Citi and Weill "mutually agreed to end those benefits in April 2009." [NYP]

Even as their country plummets down the geyser hole, Icelanders are still awfully nice to gay people. They've appointed an out-and-proud lesbian to be their interim Prime Minister, a world first the papers say.

Congressional Quarterly is profitable. The company that owns it also owns the St. Petersburg Times, which is less (or un-)profitable. So the company is selling CQ to shore up the declining paper. Is that bad?

Today we have a spendthrift yet cash strapped reality star, a fella who lets the ladies take the blame for his drugging, a cheating couple, and a sad doggie.

Could stress and anxiety over the state of the economy explain why so many celebrity chefs are getting a bit belligerent as of late? Anthony Bourdain went out of his way to launch a verbal assault on Alice Waters recently. And the war between Mario Batali and Gordon Ramsay has been heating up in recent days, too. Apparently, Batali made some critical comments about the Hell's Kitchen star more than a year ago, a move that prompted Ramsay to start calling Batali "fanta pants" in honor of the orange shorts he's long been fond of.

We know: Every night you climb into bed between boring, regular sheets and think to yourself, when will I be able to buy bedding that not only keeps me comfortable while I sleep, but also makes me younger, prettier, and healthier? Thankfully, enterprising manufacturers have been laboring away on your behalf and now, reports the Times, there are all manner of ridiculous substances woven into pillowcases, sheets, and mattresses.

Legal eagle Rick Kurnit's take on Virgin America's decision to sue a website for its Flight 1549-inspired parody? He's thinking it's all an elaborate publicity stunt. "Virgin America sues [the site] to say they disavow unfair and tasteless advertising while drawing attention to itself at the same time and the fact a competitor had birds fly into their engine." My, that Richard Branson is a devious one, isn't he? [Brandweek]

Supposedly, nothing more can be done for Patrick Swayze.

• Democratic fundraisers Carl Spielvogel and Barbaralee Diamonstein-Spielvogel sold their seventh-floor apartment at 720 Park to ex-Merrill Lynch banker Peter Kraus in December for $36.63 million. But it looks like they won't be moving far. The Spielvogels have now paid $8.98 million for a second-floor apartment in the same building. The couple bought their latest co-op from the estate of the late Cynthia Phipps, a horse breeder and philanthropist who died in 2007. [Cityfile]
• A four-bedroom duplex at 740 Park, which was first offered for $35 million by heirs to the late Randolph L. Speight, is now $26 million. [NYO, Sotheby's]
• Attorney and real estate investor Alan Schnurman has slashed the price of his 41-acre property in Sagaponack by 27 percent. Once on the market for $64.5 million, it's now down to $47 million. [Newsday, Corcoran]

Oprah Winfrey is turning 55 today. Writer/director Ed Burns is turning 41. Heather Graham is 39. Athina Roussel—the daughter of Christina Onassis and only living heir of Aristotle—is 24. Top cardiothoracic surgeon David Adams is 52. Tommy Ramone is 57. Actor Nicholas Turturro turns 47. Actress Sara Gilbert is turning 34. And Tom Selleck celebrates his 64th birthday today.

The publisher of the New York Times is seeing a married-but-separated woman he met several months before announcing his own marital separation. This proves he never slept with Caroline Kennedy. What?

• JPMorgan had concerns about Bernie Madoff this fall and decided to pull its own money from Madoff's fund. Why didn't the bank inform its clients? [NYT]
• Andrew Cuomo plans to expand the scope of his investigation into the bonuses paid by Merrill Lynch. [WSJ]
• BofA is planning to defer bonus payments to some staff this year. [FT]
• UBS has cut its bonus pool for 2008 by more than 80 percent. [BN]
• Wall Street bonuses totaled $18.4 billion in 2008, down from about $33 billion in 2007. [NYT, BW]
• Last year will go down as the worst for new home sales since 1982. [WSJ]
• Ford reported a net loss of $5.9 billion for the fourth quarter. [CNN]
• Interested in a Bernie Madoff action figure? You're in luck. [Clusterstock]

• Times publisher Arthur Sulzberger Jr. has a girlfriend. Except it's not Caroline Kennedy as some have suggested. Sulzberger, who separated from his wife in March, is dating a "vivacious" lady named Helen Ward, who he met in Peru a year ago and who is separated from her husband, too. [P6]
• Jeremy Piven brought his cocktail waitress girlfriend to the SAG Awards on Sunday night, but the poor thing didn't even get to sit with him during the ceremony. [NYDN]
• Michael Lohan is asking fans of his daughter to help him free Lindsay of Samantha Ronson's "bondage." [NYDN]

Did you hear about what's going on in there, the Obama White House? It's Lord Of The Flies: Tropical heat, territorial prowling, surprise attacks on subordinates and barbaric business casual.

Douglas Quenqua's New York Times Thursday Styles assignment was not just an opportunity to explore the complex social terrain of Facebook "unfriending." It was also a chance to settle old online scores.

ABC might move Jimmy Kimmel Live to compete with Conan O'Brien's Tonight Show, the New York Times is reporting. ABC is pissed about the story. But it gives Kimmel reason to smile.

Celebrity-glomming fameball Hilary Rowland told us she "would never" date actor James Woods, as we had reported based on several 2001 Getty Images captions. So what about this 2001 photo of them kissing?

Remember those controversial Calvin Klein commercials from the early '80s featuring Brooke Shields? The heroin chic ads with Kate Moss from the late '90s? How about last year's commercial for Calvin Klein Secret Obsession starring Eva Mendes, which was censored by the networks? It looks like the brand is returning to the usual tricks. WWD reports the new commercial for Calvin Klein Jeans "is so provocative it initially was banned from even late-night cable TV." Conveniently, the Steven Meisel creation will now be the "main attraction" when the company's new e-commerce site debuts on Friday. You can take a peek at the "banned" commercial below, but don't expect to see anything racier than what you'd find on your run-of-the-mill MTV reality show.