We're still not sure if what we saw in the Salt Lake judging room was an actual 250-lb., adorable pink Easter Beary or rather some barbiturate-induced Paula Abdul hallucination, but whatever it was—we're in love.

Yesterday Dawn Spinner Davis came out as one of the "Dating a Banker Anonymous" girls. Today we know her life story. She is the living, breathing, complaining embodiment of the end of the gilded age.

This whole SAG presidency thing may not be working out so well for Alan Rosenberg, but so what? His blues-career Plan B is taking off before our eyes — have a listen after the jump!

Hello. My name is Joshua David Stein. Thank you for joining this discussion on Tractatus Topico-Cheficus, a weekly Bravo treatise in its fifth season. [Update: Padma Superbowl Video by popular demand, after the jump.]

• ABC is reportedly thinking about giving Jimmy Kimmel the Nightline slot, putting him in competition with Conan when he takes over for Leno. [NYT]
• ABC News is cutting 35; Disney-ABC TV is dismissing 300. [TVN, THR]
• Congressional Quarterly is for sale. [WSJ]
• The Washington Post is dropping Book World as a Sunday section. [WP]
• AOL is laying off around 700 employees, or 10% of its work force. [WSJ]
• Ex-MTV prez Christina Norman will run Oprah's new TV network. [THR]

· Universal's remaking The Thing, with Battlestar Galactica EP Ron Moore to write the script and commercials director Matthijs Van Heijningen set to direct. If you've forgotten how amazing John Carpenter's version was, watch this.

Washington views life as a zero-sum game: If you win, then I lose. Our leaders, in pursuing partisan passions, forget that the whole point of economic stimulus is to make the pie larger.

Jamie Dimon is falling apart! Okay, not really, but the Wall Street Journal's Heidi Moore was rightfully concerned by the sight of the JPMorgan CEO when he sat down with CNBC's Maria Bartiromo in Davos today. Dimon turned up "unshaven, with mussed hair and clad in a spare black pullover sweater," and sported a "slightly sleepy, groggy demeanor that indicated he may have just rolled out of bed." Keep in mind, though, that this is Maria Bartiromo he was talking to. Given her illustrious past, it isn't out of the realm of possibility that the two were still recovering from a late night out. [WSJ, CNBC]

[Heidi Montag and her work boyfriend Spencer in Los Angeles; image via WENN]

ABC Television Group president sent out a memo this morning telling everyone to face the "harsh reality of having to eliminate jobs." ABC News is laying off 35-40 staffers, in a move rumored for months. One source tells us cuts will come mostly in New York (with some in LA), largely in the marketing/ research/ sales departments.
TVNewser reports that 60 open positions also won't be filled, and they have the extremely vague memo announcing the cuts. If you know more details, email us.

As we predicted last month, Fox has stepped up to take the reins of the Narnia franchise steered into a costly anthropomorphic wall by Disney. Here's the scoop from Variety (including what they got wrong):

Fashion Week Daily reports OK! editor in chief Susan Toepfer was dismissed today, just a few months after taking over for Sara Ivens at the second-rate tabloid weekly. A number of OK! staffers have been cut as well, although additional layoffs are expected in the coming days. [The Daily]

We went back to Brooklyn last night, to see what we could find. And there, waiting for us, was a troubled girl with tattoos and a Mormon boy with sex issues. And, adventure.

Julianne Moore carrying stuff in the West Village ... Hugh Jackman pushing his daughter on a swing at the park ... Uma Thurman leaving her townhouse in the Village ... Albert Hammond Jr. and Agyness Deyn walking on University Place ... Mariska Hargitay holding Chris Meloni's arm on the set of Law & Order ... Diane Kruger walking by herself in Tribeca ... Michael J. Fox sitting inside an SUV in Midtown ... and Jude Law walking with daughter Iris and son Rudy.

The financial crisis isn't just spoiling Dasha Zhukova's dreams of a lavish wedding. The girlfriend of billionaire Russian oligarch Roman Abramovich now has to contend with the fact that she may not be able to sunbathe aboard the world's largest yacht next summer. Abramovich is thinking about backing out of a deal to buy a $355 million boat named the Eclipse, which, if it's ever finished, would be the largest yacht ever constructed. (Abramovich had planned to equip the 530-foot vessel with three helipads and its own submarine.) One possible contingency plan? Drop Roman and get together with Ron Perelman. He's still going ahead with plans to build a giant, new boat and it will be finished this spring, just in time for the summer season. [Luxist]

The Baltimore Examiner is closing 30 months after it launched because of low revenues. The Examiner chain of free papers will keep its San Francisco and Washington editions going. Memo below:

Ryan Pacifico was just a normal Long Island guy—working in finance, not a homo. Until his boss found out he was a vegetarian, and started calling him a gay vegetarian homo. Not cool, dude.

Corporations, Tending to a Tattered Image, Clip Wings of Private Jets [NYT]

Not so fast on reserving tickets for that "Thriller" musical. John Landis, the director and co-writer of the original video, is suing to get the thing stopped, claiming that Michael Jackson owes him money.

President Obama is okay and everything, but why is he always touching everybody? That hurts! Remember when he put his hand on that Politico reporter's shoulder? Now Politico has brought in the FBI: