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We know: Every night you climb into bed between boring, regular sheets and think to yourself, when will I be able to buy bedding that not only keeps me comfortable while I sleep, but also makes me younger, prettier, and healthier? Thankfully, enterprising manufacturers have been laboring away on your behalf and now, reports the Times, there are all manner of ridiculous substances woven into pillowcases, sheets, and mattresses.

For instance, various companies are making mattresses with aloe vera capsules woven into the ticking, for whatever vague benefits that's supposed to provide, while copper-inflected comforters and pillowcases by SkinGlow promise to improve "wrinkles, crow's feet and fine lines."

Before you get too excited, though, a plastic surgeon says she doesn't think that "a $20 pillowcase is ever going to replace facial plastic surgery." Oh no, really? Never? Well, at least her entire profession won't be out of work.

When My Wrinkles Hit the Pillow [NYT]