Supposedly, nothing more can be done for Patrick Swayze.

  • Patrick Swayze, "losing weight and very weal," has stopped medical treatment, says the National Enquirer. [Mail]
  • Richard Parsons is a genius for taking Amtrak from New York to Washington, DC instead of a corporate jet. The Post is so very proud of the Citigroup CEO's incredible PR savvy, it wrote him his own little adulatory gossip item. Who's a good plutocrat? WHO? You are! You are! (Clue: His poxy company already got $45 billion in taxpayer funds, now it wants another bailout. But let's talk about his trip on the choo choo.) [P6]
  • Robert F. Kennedy Jr.'s daughter Kick will intern at Rolling Stone, on the strength of her name. Her first name. [P6]
  • Matt Damon claims Barack Obama's people demanded $50,000 to let him and a guest attend the inauguration. [Fametastic]
  • To kill a vampire, drive a wooden stake through its heart. To kill a Stephenie Meyer vampire novel, leak the unfinished manuscript online. (Practically, you only need to memorize the last piece of advice. It could really come in handy.) [Gatecrasher]
  • John Cleese's latest ex-girlfriend claimed to be 27 but is really 45. Comedy or tragedy? [Mail]
  • Michael Jackson is even being sued, for money, by the guy who directed his "Thriller" video, John Landis. [Sun]