All of the government's pesky market intrusions have people snapping up copies of Atlas Shrugged like they were bailout packages. Since it's not like Ayn Rand's laissez-faire fantasies got us into this mess.

Bulgarian publication Стандарт — and who doesn't trust Стандарт? — ran this picture of Jean-Claude Van Damme at a "night party" in Sofia. Funny. A drunk Van Damme was once a terrifying prospect:

Amit Kapur, the 27-year-old No. 2 executive at MySpace, is leaving, according to a memo from MySpace CEO Chris DeWolfe. It looks like he's planning a startup: He's taking two executives with him.

• Big day for Britney: Her Circus tour kicks off this evening in New Orleans where she'll be wearing elaborate costumes designed by DSquared2. She was also named Candie's new spokesmodel, so she's got that going for her, too. [Vogue UK, SW]
• Barneys is not for sale, or at least that's what the CEO of the retailer's parent company is saying. [WWD]
• Trouble at the Plaza: Half the stores in the basement shopping mall are demanding lower rents. [NYP]
• Poor Dasha Zhukova. Fashion insiders have been laughing about her new job at Pop and now Daphne Guinness says she's having no part in it. [Fashionista]
• A peek at Tracy Feith's new line for Target, which debuts in May. [Racked]
• Reports from the final day of Milan Fashion Week. [NYT, NYT]
• Paris Fashion Week begins tomorrow. But not before fashion's A-list convened for one last party in Milan last night, of course. [Fashionologie]

[Bloomberg, Bono, The Edge, and the gang watch as a section of West 53rd St. in Manhattan is temporarily renamed U2 Way; image via Getty]

Did you catch Jim Cramer's rant on Today this morning? Appearing alongside Matt Lauer and Erin Burnett, Cramer called President Obama's budget a "radical agenda," adding "This is the greatest wealth destruction I've seen by a President." It seems Washington couldn't resist an opportunity to fire back. "I'm not entirely sure what he's pointing to to make some of the statements," said White House press secretary Robert Gibbs. "And you can go back and look at any number of statements he's made in the past about the economy and wonder where some of the back-up for those are too." Indeed. [TVNewser]

Bad: Rupert Murdoch biographer Michael Wolff is rumored to be having an affair with his younger employee. Far worse, for Wolff: this gives News Corp (and others) a chance to get back at him.

Credulous bloggers think Twitter will make more money than newspapers! That's a low bar. In the meantime, the media's Twitter addicts from the New York Times to ReadWriteWeb prove how value-free the status-updating service is:

All Contessa Brewer was trying to do was introduce a clip about a "gigantic gem." But her bitchy co-anchor Melissa Francis had to insult her, by implying she was conceited or something. Contessa was flummoxed.

Advertising is a proven, effective tactic. Newspapers are important. But running ads telling people that newspapers are important is just throwing money into a fire, for amusement.

[Heidi Klum waving goodbye as she advertises a bra at the Grove; image via Splash]

Rush Limbaugh: "Jake Tapper is the one guy that's outside of the butt boy bubble in the White House press room." Sucks for you, Jake! Keep trying. [Media Matters]

It looked touch-and-go there for a moment, but the Sarah Silverman Program will be returning to Comedy Central for another season. Who do we have to thank for this? Big old honking gay folks.

• Silvano Marchetto is opening Scuderia across the street from Da Silvano on Sixth Avenue off Downing St. on March 9. It's a trattoria, naturally. [GS]
• Doug Psaltis is Danny Abrams' new partner at Smith's on Macdougal. [Eater]
• Starbucks' latest effort to to reinvent itself as an affordable brand? The chain's new value meal (or "breakfast pairings"), which run $3.95. [NYT]
• The News gives Josh DeChellis' La Fonda del Sol four stars this week. [NYDN]
• Bamn, the Automat-themed spot on St. Mark's, appears to have closed. [GS]
• Tribeca's Dennis Foy has closed, too. [Zagat]
• The yellow waffle truck known as Wafels & Dinges is on its last legs. [Eater]
• Bar Veloce, which became Bar Tonno and then turned into Room4Dessert, before reopening as Bar Veloce, is now named Veloce Club. Got that? [GS]

Our Wonky President could do just about anything, right? So no one blinked an eye when Barack Obama morphed into Henry Blodget and started spouting off about price-to-earnings ratios. In other words, buy stocks now!

Despite the fact that there are not enough jobs for people already in journalism, kids still pay big money to go to J-schools. Where will they find work? New ideas for a new world:

Now that Liz Smith has been put out to stud, we need to reevaluate our idea of "gossip." (Probably needed to do this anyway). Who's worth gossiping about anymore? Well, not Paris Hilton.

Sandy Weill presided over Citigroup until 2006 when he stepped aside and handed the reigns to his self-appointed successor Chuck Prince (who, in turn, was replaced by the bank's current CEO, Vikram Pandit). When Weill left the company, he departed with hundreds of millions in Citi stock and a very generous golden parachute to boot. So how much is he worth now that the U.S. government owns a third of the company and Citi shares can be had for a buck and a quarter? Charlie Gasparino does the math: "The last public filing for Weill stock ownership came out in February 2006. It said he held 16.555 million shares. With a stock price hovering off its highs but at a still healthy $46 dollars, Weill's holdings in Citi were worth more than $760 million. If he hadn't sold a single share, those same holdings would be worth a tad more than $20 million today."

Police finally make an arrest for Chandra Levy's murder

In your deadly Tuesday media column: Arena is dead, Steven Brill is back to save journalism (with Emily???), the Washington Post tries to cut pay creatively, and our Martha Stewart feud continues: