As you no doubt expected to hear, the city's real estate market didn't fare very well during the first quarter of 2009. According to reports prepared by all the major brokerage firms, the total number of sales dropped by half compared to the same period last year. The situation was particularly grim at new developments: Sales declined by 67 percent from the first quarter of 2008. But if you're one of the few people who can afford to be buying, consider this a good day: The mere mention of these depressing stats will probably allow you to demand another 10 percent discount today. [Real Deal]

News that will play merry havoc with the minds of those wondering why he/she never called back, even though it seemed like such a great date: More than 30 percent of voicemail messages go unlistened to for three or more days, reports the company that runs the system for Verizon and other wireless carriers, with more than 20 percent of people "rarely" dialing in to check their messages. Yup, voicemail is desperately unfashionable, having been upstaged by email, texting, and even Twittering, not least because the arduous process of calling a number, entering a password, and listening to someone ramble on takes way too long.

• Hedge funder Scott Bessent has dropped the price of his duplex at One Sutton Place South for the second time since first listing it for $12.5 million in October. The protégé of George Soros is now selling the 11-room spread for $9.995 million, which is about $2 million less than he paid for it in 2007. [Cityfile, BHS]
• National Hockey League commissioner Gary Bettman and his wife Michelle have paid $1.95 million for a 20th-floor condo at the Grand Beekman at 400 East 51st Street. [Cityfile]
• Real estate heiress Caroline Cumming's 12,128-square-foot townhouse at 11 Spring Street, which went on the market for $39.8 million in September and was reduced to $36.5 million in November, has been reduced once again. The home can now be yours for $29.5 million. [Cityfile, CORE]

Law & Order: SVU's Chris Meloni turns 48 today. CNN president Jonathan Klein is 51. Cardinal Edward Egan is turning 77. Femininst author Camille Paglia turns 62. Book editor Jonathan Karp is 45. Maroon 5's Jesse Carmichael turns 30. Emmylou Harris is turning 62. And Rodney King, victim of the LAPD and a member of the cast of Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew, is 44 today.

• Say it isn't so! Although she's introducing her own spray-tan line, Sevin Nyne, Lindsay Lohan has been spotted using the services of a mobile spray-tan company called Fake Bake "on the sly." [NYDN]
• Related: LiLo would like to reiterate that she and Sam Ronson have not broken up. For now. [E!]
• The indignity! Jay-Z had to wait 20 minutes for a table at Babbo. [P6]
• Chelsea Clinton's rep says the former first daughter is not getting married after all. Too bad! [Us]
• Paris Hilton's little brother Barron says he's "giving up the party life" to pursue a career as an "international singer-songwriter." A family just chock full of talent, clearly. [P6]

• Details on what's been discussed—and what's on the agenda—as President Obama meets other world leaders at the G-20 in London. [BN, NYT, WSJ]
• The House has approved yet another bill to restrict bonuses and compensation at financial firms that have received bailout money. [NYT]
• Former AIG CEO Hank Greenberg will give testimony in front of a congressional panel in Washington today. [WSJ, CNN]
• The number of U.S. workers filing new claims for jobless benefits surged to a nearly 26-year high last week. [Reuters]
• The Justice Department has opened about 100 criminal investigations into wealthy Americans who skirted tax laws as clients of UBS. [Dealbook]
• Real estate prices in NYC have taken a big hit thanks to Wall Street. [Reuters]
• Good news: hedge funds are back in the game, it seems. After a lousy 2008, investors are "tentatively returning to the sector," report some. [FT]

President Messiah's iPod gift to queen was loaded with his own speeches. Presumptuous, still.

New beginnings can be heartbreaking: John Mayer's new breakup song sounds ridiculous and transparent, but Paris Hilton's brother's new life plan is even worse. Way worse.

Your typical liberal wimp likes to do a little yoga in the morning, maybe some positive visualization. A Fox News broadcaster, meanwhile, likes to punch himself in the face, repeatedly. Here's how.

Best Events magazine obviously wants a naive person willing to do, like, four jobs rolled into one, for cheap. But the publication can't say that, so instead it wrote this obnoxious, coded job listing.

The layoffs at Condé Nast Digital Wednesday included not only Wired.com but also Ars Technica, the website known for its in-depth, computer-related technical articles. We're told fully seven of roughly 17 staff were cut.

It turns out that, prior to being arrested at a bar brawl and maybe snorting coke on camera, Ashley Biden was busted for drinking before she was 21. Just like Jenna Bush!

Judging from this emailed stalker sighting, Alec Baldwin is either not much of a fan of his movie Lymelife, or he really wanted to talk to Stylista winner Johhanna Cox about something:

As great as this picture of Gordon Brown gazing on Barack Obama is (click for another pic), the Daily Mail's purple prose is even better:

NYC Vitamin Water Popup Store Opening Friday [PSFK]

• Topshop opens tomorrow, in case you haven't heard. [NYT, Racked, NYM, Glamour, Pipeline]
• If you wish to bypass the madness in Soho, the first-ever Balenciaga outlet in the U.S. opens tomorrow at the Woodbury Commons. [NYM]
• The British media just about melted at the sight of a J. Crew-clad Michelle Obama today. [WWD]
• The Costume Institute gala is a mere four weeks away but getting people to sponsor tables hasn't been easy work for Anna Wintour. If you notice fewer mentions of Burberry, Versace, and Gucci in future issues of Vogue, now you know why. [FWD]
• Dowdy retail chains are trying to spiff things up in order to appeal to "modern women who are now shopping for style within their means." [NYT]
• Resort season isn't quite what it used to be. [WWD]
• Why is Lorenzo back in NYC? Where's Marc? It's a mystery! [Fashionologie]

Jack Cafferty doesn't take any crap. Not from Chinese communists, not from "the facts," and damn sure not from some treasonous hippie protester. Especially when her headgear deeply offends the CNN commentator.

Good news, Project Runway fans: The legal feud between NBC chief Jeff Zucker and Weinstein Co. co-founder Harvey Weinstein over the show's fate has been settled—and it didn't even require having the two face off in a cage fighting match, although that would have been nice, come to think of it. The Weinstein Co. agreed to pay a "multiple millions" to NBC for ripping the show away NBC-owned Bravo and taking it to Lifetime, although Weinstein agreed to hold off airing new episodes until August, which gives Bravo a headstart with their Runway lookalike, The Fashion Show.

[New, high cigarette taxes became effective in New York today, as some of us are well aware. So, here's a picture from 1949: simpler, cheaper, and probably, less healthy times. Image: LIFE © Time Inc.]