• Bill O'Reilly is already threatening to totally ruin 2010: He says he's working on a book about Barack Obama which will come out next year. [NYP]
• Twitter fan Gary Vaynerchuk is getting seven figures to write 10 books about Twitter. And some think the publishing world doesn't "get it"! [WSJ]
• Hollywood is cutting back on the big pay packages for A-list stars. [WSJ]
• Ed Schultz is taking over the 6pm slot on MSNBC with a new show. [HP]
• No joke: Delta will soon sell its in-flight magazine on newsstands. [WWD]
• More on the recent round of layoffs at Condé Nast Digital. [PaidContent]
• Ad man Peter Arnell's disastrous rebranding of Tropicana also led to a 20 percent drop in sales in January and February. Nice work. [AdAge]
• Jon Stewart had a few words of advice for Rush Limbaugh last night. And Stephen Colbert went to town on Glenn Beck. [HP, Buzzfeed]
• NBC will air the final episode of ER tonight with a three-hour "event." [NYT]

What a time to start selling $595 jeans. The free publicity potential is incredible. Across America, hacks are whipping out pocket calculators and saying, "Do you know what you could buy for $595??"

On Tuesday we asked you to guess the next Real World city. The 18% of you who guessed Washington D.C. might be on to something! If this job posting from producer Bunim/Murray is any indication.

Finding true love can be a costly endeavor, especially if you're a client of Shoshanna Rikon, the woman behind Shoshanna's Matches. According to a lawsuit filed this week, Rikon—who bills herself as the "New York City's No. 1 Jewish Matchmaker"—charged clients thousands of dollars a year for her services, even though New York's Dating Service Law (yes, there is such a thing) sets limits on the amount a "social referral service" can charge. Plus she wouldn't give refunds to dissatisfied customers or guarantee a minimum number of introductions, which isn't so kosher either, apparently. Nava Sheena, a former client of the company, is now taking the matter to court with a class action suit, and says she's located more than 500 other people who also claim they were overcharged by Rikon. The suit against the New York version of Patti Stanger is below.

Leduff, last seen poking around a dead body encased in ice in an abandoned Detroit warehouse, has now profiled a Detroit retiree, Glemie Dean "Coon Man" Beasley, who hunts raccoons and eats them or sells them. This just barely meets Charlie Leduff's minimum standards of manly quirk.

Tarantino goes to France (again), Wolverines are unleashed upon the world, Edward Furlong returns!, and Jeanne Tripplehorn get the lead in a movie, finally.

Hugh Jackman carrying a box out of Blick Art on Bond Street ... Uma Thurman leaving her West Village townhouse with son Levon ... Jennifer Aniston filming scenes for her new movie at a restaurant in Williamsburg ... Paul McCartney standing outside Arabelle on East 64th Street ... Model Carmen Kass sitting outside at Bar Pitti ... Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo leaving ABC studios ... LL Cool J driving a Bentley in Midtown ... Famke Janssen getting on a bike ... and Chace Crawford being chased by two female fans on the set of Gossip Girl.

Somali pirates: still pirating.

Impressionable tarts across America are now being pushed and prodded to buy "fertility tests" to tell them when the time is ripe, for sex. Sophisticated advertising campaigns are encouraging intercourse. Nation Of Whores much, hmmmmmm?

A few more pics from the crazy Topshop opening in Soho today—starring Kate Moss standing next to Topshop owner Sir Philip Green in a lovely green dress—are below.

Hilariously, predictably, Ann Coulter fell for the "Obama's War on Nascar" April Fool's Day story.

Victoria Floethe is tired of the moralizing prudes! The younger half of media beef-starter Michael Wolff's recently exposed affair is telling her side of the story: she's a free-living woman beset by Victorian gossiping hordes.

Too bad if you didn't like that My Melancholy Whores book. It's most likely going to be legendary Colombian author Gabriel García Márquez's last. His agent says he doesn't expect another book.

Part of hedge fund billionaire Steve Cohen's art collection went on display today at Sotheby's. Paintings and sculptures by Matisse, Modigliani, Picasso, Jeff Koons, and Richard Prince—works that normally reside at Cohen's castle in Greenwich—are all there to be ogled, although don't ogle them too closely if you don't want to come face to face with a burly security guard (see left). Dealbreaker got a sneak peek yesterday and brought a camera along. So if you don't plan to make it in person—it runs through April 14—or you just want to see what $450 million in art in one room looks like, well, off you go. [Dealbreaker]

[You know who that is? It's known German lady Heidi Klum doing a photoshoot for dastardly German "Vogue" on Rodeo Drive; image via INF]

Today we have a starlet who's being cheated on, something that I'm pretty sure is about Jen A., and a reality star who tried to shmooze with the glitterati just a bit too much.

Oh hey did you hear that the Obamas went to England? They met the queen! And crappy presents notwithstanding, it was such a god damn regal moment that the world media, en masse, orgasmed.

A teenager was shot and paralyzed in Spanish Harlem in 1960; he died last month; and the NYPD reclassified his case as a homicide, half a century later. Cops are such sticklers.

Further evidence, like we needed it, that our civilization is on an inexorable downward slide: The most intelligent among us are apparently less likely to have lots of children than the personalities known as "Type A"—those bossy, overbearing, ambitious types who push everyone out of their way. While there used to be an obvious link between men's wealth and their, um, procreativity, new research by evolutionary psychologists suggests that "leadership qualities like taking charge and being competitive have an evolutionary advantage even if high socioeconomic status no longer does." Basically, overconfident, pushy people get laid a lot, while polite, unassuming nerds stay home alone and Twitter about Battlestar Galactica.

You can now take a panoramic tour of Michael Bloomberg's snazzy new "Situation Room," the place he's supposed to sneak off to in case of emergency and where, if something disastrous happens, you'll find him "huddled with his cabinet members and glued to CNN." (Apparently the mayor has a fave cable news channel.) But before you get any crazy ideas about the "tastefully accoutered" command center, the mayor would also like you to know he built his for $2.5 million, a lot less than the $15 million Rudy Giuliani wasted on a room that had its own gas-proof ventilation system. That's probably still a bit too much given it's roughly the size of your bedroom, but at least he's headed in the right direction. [NYT]