Funny thing: two journalists who were reportedly working for Current TV are currently facing ten years in prison in North Korea. So why doesn't Current, you know, report something about it?

The unending cavalacade of bad news is not the only reason people are feeling nauseous in magazineland these days. Earlier today a stench was making people feel sick at ESPN and they had to evacuate. Happily everyone's back to work.

Hah, one guy got fooled by a lame April Fools' Joke: ABC's senior smugness correspondent Jake Tapper. He even forwarded a hoax story to his colleagues before he caught himself.

More detail on the layoffs at Conde Nast Digital today (which is not an April Fool's joke, okay): Wired.com was reportedly hit hard. Internal turf war?

We heard about a sadly not fake memo Steve Forbes sent out this afternoon to everyone at Forbes who hasn't been laid off announcing unpaid furloughs and pay-cuts. [Updated: More details after the jump.]

We asked. You answered. Now it's time for the second installment of the fun thing where we reveal the Media's Worst Late Payment Offenders! Plus: a success story!

"Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this bluefly.com accessory wall!"

NBC Universal has released a statement declaring an end to the bloody Project Runway Wars. The statement, sent by NBC, claims Harvey Weinstein has congratulated Jeff Zucker. So, it could be an April Fools' prank:

God, it's hard enough to convince someone to buy and consume a product called "John West Tuna&Beans." This ad just makes it harder. Everyone involved in this product's conception, manufacturing, or advertising should be fired.

• Macao Trading Company is "silly" but "fun," says Frank Bruni, who translates that combo into a one-star review in the New York Times today. [NYT]
• A roundup of restaurants that have closed their doors in recent days. [Eater]
• Terrance Brennan of Picholine and Artisanal fame is planning to take over Trigo in Tribeca and turn it into Bar Artisinal. [GS, NYT]
• Ignazio's may give Grimaldi's a run for its money in Dumbo. [TONY]
• Ryan Sutton is not a fan of Giorgio Armani's restaurant inside his new store: "I doubt he's paid much attention at all to New York's culinary scene; otherwise he wouldn't have created such a laughably behind-the-times joint." [BN]
• Meet John and Kevin McCormick, the guys responsible for the peeling paint and rusting fixtures that typically accompany $34 entrees these days. [NYO]

Man, our screw-up president. What did he do this time? He insulted the Queen of England with another one of his boneheaded lame "gifts!"

Hold on to your frumpy Chico's fashions: Michael Phelps' mom has written a tell-all book! Star has an exclusive excerpt. Can you guess why that fact alone is very, very strange?

Bernie Madoff's 55-foot yacht and 24-foot speedboat were both seized today in Florida. [NYT]

James Franco is a busy fellow. He's sleeping his way through grad classes and filming more stoner movies. Is he perhaps too busy, too overstretched? Some recent news about the honey-dipped actor would suggest so.

Don't even think about turning up at Martha Stewart's house without an invitation, or cutting the power lines to her house in an attempt to force her out into the open. In a filing with the Securities and Exchange Commission, Martha Stewart Omnimedia disclosed that it considers a home security system for Martha's estate as a business expense, and also pays for a "backup power system." Now you know! [WWD]

In your troubling Wednesday media column: layoffs at Conde Nast and the Boston Globe, Bill Keller fights back, King's officially dead, North Korea's still mean to journalists, and more:

Haha PUNK'D! Happy Day When Everyone Thinks They're Fucking Hilarious, guys! Let's all have a chuckle at the "hoaxes" and "pranks" and depressing stabs at heavy-handed jocularity that make up April Fools' Day.

Like a delicious dirty martini, history can be dry and salty. Boo. Who wants that? Nobody! The only difference between history and now is that history happened a long time ago.

[Kate Moss in New York City today; image via Splash]

Yes, we saw the Guardian piece, YouTube's upside-down layout and Google's blogging robot Panda. Sorta funny. Funnier are the memos being forwarded around media orgs, such as "Forbes to Sell Brother." Send us others!