Just to remind you one of the reasons why we staked out Jesse Watters' house this morning: Via his Twitter page, he says, "I don't consider what I do 'ambushing.'" That's a lie. [Update below]

[Nonentity Mischa Barton in London; image via Bauer-Griffin]

• After 115 weeks in business, Jeffrey Chodorow's Kobe Club closes its doors tomorrow night. The Miami outpost is probably history, too. [Eater]
• One of the two Starbucks in Astor Place is closing tomorrow. [Eater]
• A roundup of places that just opened, or will be open next week. [TONY]
• Charlie Palmer is giving away bottles to vino in honor of Aureole's 20th. [GS]
• The Minetta Tavern's "preferred-customer line" is sort of useless, FYI. [GS]
• Rise, the rooftop bar at the Ritz in Battery Park City, has closed. [Zagat]
• Sangria and lobster salad was on Padma's mind on Today today. [TFB]

It's been a rough few months for aging British musicians, apparently. According to the Sunday Times, Elton John's net worth has plummeted by 26 percent on account of the financial crisis. Mick Jagger is down 16 percent and is now worth a mere $280 million. And Eric Clapton's net worth now stands at $176 million, since his fortune has dwindled by 14 percent over the last year. Good news (or bad news, depending on your perspective): The paper reports David and Victoria Beckham's wealth is unchanged. [Bloomberg]

The French are sponsoring wine and cheese parties. Typical. Americans are downing pills faster than ever. Typical. Unpatriotic Latinos won't tell the government whether they're "black" or "white." Man, why is everybody all typical?

Just in case the doomsday scenarios about Facebook and Twiitter had you worried, "stress-reduction expert" Soren Gordhamer has some Zen-based advice. While he believes that technology, especially the Web, is our biggest source of stress, he says avoiding it is not the solution: Instead, we should aim to be "'consciously' rather than 'constantly' connected," and "incorporate Eastern meditative practices to help ease the frantic anxiety produced by the high-speed techno-culture." Does sitting cross-legged at your computer count? [Reuters]

We're well into day two of our Tribeca Film Festival Twitterfest, so we thought we'd show you what's being tweeted. And, we'd like to introduce three new members!

FYI, newsmedia, we are only that many days into Barack Obama's president. And fyi again: the "first 100 days" is a meaningless marker.

Former dating columnist Julia Allison, an Internet microcelebrity now famous for not being particularly famous, has finally gone too far in her attempt to acquire Facebook fans. She may even have broken the law.

How popular is the sinister Rick Ross? This popular.

What happens after The Real World? Y'know, like, before you go on one of the Challenges? Well, if you're Scott from the recent Brooklyn iteration, you advertise Snuggies like they're goin' outta style. (They are.)

Cut the cutesy bullshit and get straight to the point: use a condom and save zillions of dollars buying crap for a kid. OR, be celibate!

Ok, Mexico, we know you're worried about the swine flu, but just take a minute here. Is "saving lives" so important that you're willing to make everyone autistic?[AFP]

In your inhumane Friday media column: Layoffs at NPR, another freakin' Dubya('s dad) book, newspapers burn as usual, New York mag has ad trouble, and Sean Hannity's waterboarding money appears!

Chanel hosted a dinner to celebrate the Tribeca Film Festival at Odeon last night, where the guests included Adrien Brody, Robert De Niro and Grace Hightower, Craig Hatkoff and Jane Rosenthal (with daughter Juliana), Moby, Debra Messing, Fabiola Beracasa, Julia Restoin Roitfeld, Mary-Kate Olsen, Diane Kruger, Celerie Kemble, Kerry Washington, Viola Davis, Matthew Modine, Angela Lindvall, Heidi Mount, Poppy Delevigne, Alexis Bledel, Danielle Steele (with daughters Victoria and Vanessa Traina), Dree Hemingway, Drena De Niro and Carlos Rodriguez, Henry Cavill, Melissa Leo, Molly Shannon, and Grace, Mamie, and Louisa Gummer. [PMc, Wireimage, Getty, FWD]

Owen Van Natta, Facebook's former COO, is officially taking over MySpace, News Corp.'s social network. With its user numbers stagnant, MySpace desperately needs a restart. Is Van Natta the guy to do it?

And you were thinking that the fro-yo trend was fizzling out. Pinkberry just revealed that it's secured another $5.8 million in venture capital financing, funds that will likely go to expanding the 73-store-strong chain. Pinkberry isn't the only frozen yogurt enterprise in growth mode. Red Mango recently raised additional funding, too, and says it plans to open 550 locations across the U.S. over the next five years. One small glimmer of hope: One of Pinkberry's big backers is Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz, so there's always the possibility that the two chains combine at some point, thereby placing mediocre, overpriced coffee and mediocre, overpriced frozen yogurt under one roof. [WSJ, peHUB]

Will anyone miss GeoCities, the antiquated homepage service Yahoo bought for $3.5 billion in 1999, and then left to rot? Venture capitalist Fred Wilson will — he hasn't seen that kind of payday in ages.

Jesse Watters, Bill O'Reilly's ambush specialist, may have slipped past our stakeout this morning, but we will be back. Before John Cook and Richard Blakeley set back for Gawker HQ, they filed a video report.