If anyone watched the Hatton v. Pacquio fight last night, the biggest loser wasn't Ricky Hatton. It was Larry Merchant whose inane lipid-eyed commentary damages more brains than Pacquio's right hook.

OK! Magazine is not doing so hot. On Friday, a consultant demanded staffers complete a ridiculous evaluation prior to their Tuesday appointment with Dr. Pink Slip. But have they done so?

Pug look alike and Vogue editor Anna Wintour is throwing a ball tomorrow at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Don't go because there might be Nazis! It's all her fault.

Dome blew over. No one dead. Also: Not Really Breaking. It happened yesterday. See comments. [NYT]

According to a study out this month in Motivation and Emotion but excerpted in the Economist, if you smiled in high school, you'll live happily ever after. If you glowered, you'll glower to the grave.

Stars and models and waitresses seek to salvage or repair their slutty reputations. Starring: John Mayer! Tina Brown! Lindsay Lohan! AND one lucky Waitress.

About once every two months, my friend Kyle Forester does live karaoke at Otto's Shrunken Head. Some of these performances make their way onto YouTube. Here are the best of them.

Swine flu has turned pandemic. Children have died. But the real tragedy is found only among the wealthy. The latest victim? The air-kiss.

We're past the first 100 days of Obama, but the post-racial buzz is still in the air. Even Jay-Z says there's no such thing as "black music" anymore? Ok, but what about white punctuation marks?

Jimmy Fallon has a lot going for him: His house band The Roots are Grammy nominated. His blog-crew is Webby nominated. And he, well, he reads Gawker to get his spirits up. True story!

Schools suck! And they're expensive! But who will teach us Twitter? Our discussion on education reform continues with fallen academic, but American Book Award winner, Jeff Chang and Macy Halford of The New Yorker's book-blog.

Mark C. Taylor, chairman of Columbia University's Religion department, started some shit. So much we need two posts to flush-it down properly. First up: Kate Perkins and Dan Kois. God can't save you now, Mark!

Yo Gawk, you remember that routine. Then came Q-Tips, Mr. Clean, and pigeons. Good times! This weekend: ?uestlove saves magazines*, smart people discuss this heavily e-mailed NYT op-ed, and finally, a word on "!!!".

If only I had the imagination enough to recreate the orgy of handjobs and fingerbangs that is the TIME 100, an annual circle jerk of famous people writing about other famous people! I'll try anyway.

OK Magazine recently hired a woman named Juliet Gray to "consult" with the publisher. "Consult" in this case means to "fire." Gray is an ax man but she likes to toy with her victims first.

A 22 year old art student in the UK painted a crappy Skoda to blend in with her studio in Lancashire. The Telegraph

We know there's a little post hoc ergo proctor hoc in this, but if you ever want to seduce Sharon Stone, actress/auteur this is what to make/get/hire her for breakfast.

Someone went to eat at the Waverly Inn (finally!) and they came back with the strangest "celebrity" dinner grouping ever: Raisin Rachel Zoe, Oasis' Noel Gallagher and Fab 5 Freddy. What did they talk about?

It's Saturday morning and the coffee just kicked in. Hello and welcome to Gossip Roundup. Today, Valentino called Anna Wintour a dog, England called Susan Boyle pizza face and Scarlett Johanssen experienced rejection.

• Mayor Bloomberg has proposed raising the sales tax by half a percentage point. That's certainly not going to do much to help struggling retailers, now is it? [NYDN]
• With a fresh batch of stores and restaurants closing each day, life on the UES has gotten pretty depressing. [NYT]
• A few weeks ago, Thom Browne denied that his fashion company was in trouble. The fact both his CEO and CFO departed the company today certainly doesn't bode well. [WWD]
• A few notables not expected at the Costume Institute Gala on Monday: Karl Lagerfeld, Carine Roitfeld, Matthew Williamson, and Bernard Arnault. [FWD]