Happy May Day! Have you marched in solidarity with any workers today? No? Well, it was raining. We forgive you.

Jim Berhle's adorable kittens have the dreaded PINK DEATH. Also a cogent review of Lie to Me: "Everyone's always totally lying!"

After terrorizing tech managers, Owen Thomas has decided to join 'em. Emerging from the shadows to replace him as the Valleywag is Ryan Tate, who's already relishing the idea of life in the sunshine.

[30 Rockefeller Center in December 1933. A photograph by Samuel H. Gottscho. Via Shorpy]

Did you know that the White House Correspondents Association Dinner is only 8 shopping days away? The teenage girls of the DC press corps are so psyched!

Friday we wondered: is Deborah Perez, who claims her dad was the Zodiac Killer, some sort of wacko? Now it appears the answer is "Yes, a big one."

United Flight 903 tragically had to land in Boston instead of DC because a passenger had the fucking sniffles. How will our coloring book authors cover this disaster? Do you remember where you were? [AP]

• Sasha Petraske's Dutch Kills opens tonight. [Eater]
• The Sant Ambroeus team is taking over the lease at Lever House. [GS]
• Sumile Sushi, Josh DeChellis's former haunt, has closed its doors. [Eater]
• Hotelier Jason Pomeranc, who recently parted ways with chef Todd English, is now starting his own restaurant management company. [HC, NYO]
• The restaurants that opened—and closed—during the month of April. [Eater]
• A roundup of restaurants and bars slated to open by May 13. [TONY]
• Can people tell the difference between pâté and dog food? Not usually! [LAT]

Of course not (racist). You can trace Barack Obama's basketball style directly back to one man and one man only:

The most cathartic part of our week is here. We have to read all the awful unapproved comments all week. You don't. Well, you didn't. Now you have to read three of the worst:

Republican National Committee chairman Michael Steele was on gambling addict Bill Bennett's radio program today, and a caller told Steele that Barack Obama is a "magic negro." Steele laughed and said, "Well, yeah."

It's official: Supreme Court Justice David Souter is indeed retiring. Confirmation of the news came from Barack Obama himself, who just crashed the White House daily press briefing.

Hark, who will stand up for the common man against Joe Biden and his hatred of public transportation? How about a multimillionaire media big shot with a compulsive need for money and luxury?

Alexander Maryasin has a rather active imagination. The Queens man says he used his American Express Black Card to book a vacation to Sardinia with his son, but was taken hostage for two weeks at the hotel Amex recommended, so he's now suing American Express and the hotel for the horrific treatment they were forced to endure. Maryasin says he used the exclusive card to book a trip to Hotel Cala di Volpe, one of Italy's most expensive resorts. But when he and his son arrived to check in, their passports were confiscated and they were forced by hotel staffers—at gunpoint—to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars shopping at boutiques around town, charges that were conveniently placed on his Amex card. Even more disturbing? To add insult to injury, Maryasin says the hotel staff pushed him into the pool, too.

Have you always wished you had an iPhone app that made it look like you were sniffing coke off your phone? Now you have one. Happy Friday, you broke bastard. [The iSnort]

"I'm 2 miles away coming to your house...are you home?" "You need to call me...This isn't fair to me. Do you have no soul?" Text messages from a psycho ex, or your auto loan company?

Just in case you want to know what you'll be reading in the September or October issue of Vanity Fair, two writers from the magazine are supposedly in Palm Beach today working on a story about the mysterious deaths of 21 polo horses a couple of weeks ago. [Page2Live]

What's deposed Portfolio editor Joanne Lipman been up to since her magazine folded, besides lying about not reading this website? Partying, vacation planning, and blaming others!

Some people will be offended by this and I know she has fans, but no. No. The woman was born in 1954. Conservative presidents pick young ideologues like Clarence Thomas who was about 40 when he was picked and who will be around forever, and they never worried about "picking moderates" to stay viable.

Did you know that today is "Loyalty Day"? It is. And Barack Hussein Obama has issued a proclamation, or "fatwa," making it illegal to disobey him. Rise up, people!