Socialist tax-and-spender Barack Obama wanted to cut $17 billion worth of important, life-saving government programs, but some congressmembers are finally standing up to him.

Or, which reality star actually has $50,000 in cash? Nevermind, today, there's also a model whose husband wants to porn up their sex life and acting rivals who consider plastic surgery a competitive sport.

Does the name "Frenkel Lambert Weiss Weisman & Gordon" mean anything to you? No? Excellent. Feel free to move along. But if the name rings a bell because it happens to be the name of a law firm you've worked with the past, you may want to call another law firm right now since you're probably going to need a new lawyer to sue your old lawyer. It seems Frenkel Lambert filled up 61 dumpsters worth of client files—including medical records, social security numbers, addresses and the like—and dumped it on the street. Identity thieves were naturally quite pleased to see the sensitive info materialize downtown; when a Daily News reporter arrived on the scene yesterday, "several passersby were digging through the mountain of paper." Frenkel Lambert says it is now investigating the incident. In the meantime, we'll just have to there's a connection between this mishap and the "Code Shred" truck that was spotted around the corner early this morning. [NYDN, Dealbreaker]

• Alexander Belopolsky, a financial whiz who has worked for Jim Simons and Israel Englander's hedge funds, has paid $5.026 million for a four-bedroom condo at the Visionaire in Battery Park. [NYO]
• Ed Stevenson, co-founder of the investment firm Renewable Capital, and his wife Lorin, have sold their one-bedroom condo at Trump World Tower for $5.65 million. [Cityfile]
• Goldman Sachs exec Valentino Carlotti, who moved to São Paulo last year to head up Goldman's Brazil-based operations, has sold his two-bedroom condo at 119 Fulton Street for $1.2 million. [Cityfile]

Sarah Jessica Parker's surrogate is blessed with bisexual rocker-dom; Lindsay Lohan's sister has been baptized into mega-decauchery; and Mel Gibson's family will be born into sin.

Director Michel Gondry turns 46 today. Enrique Iglesias is turning 34. Knicks head coach Mike D'Antoni is 58. Author Thomas Pynchon is turning 72. Model Josie Maran is 31. Advertising exec Richard Kirshenbaum is 48. Alex Van Halen is 56. Earth, Wind & Fire's Philip Bailey turns 58. Ted Sorensen, best known as JFK's speechwriter, is 81. Actress Melissa Gilbert is turning 45. Socialite Nina Griscom is 55. And Don Rickles, or "Mr. Warmth," is 83 today. A few of the people celebrating their birthdays this weekend—including Rosario Dawson, Emma Bloomberg, and Billy Joel—after the jump.

• Eliot and Silda Spitzer made their first public appearance together last night. The couple turned up at the Waldorf for the eighth annual Children's Benefit Gala and were spotted holding hands and making "lovey-dovey looks at each other." Unconditional love is a beautiful thing. [NYDN]
• The stress over the Kiefer Sutherland/Jack McCollough incident must be getting to Brooke Shields: She was spotted looking "upset, overwhelmed and stressed" at the Innocence Project gala on Wednesday night. On a related note, the desk appearance ticket Kiefer received yesterday means he will be a free man until he shows up in court on June 21. [NYDN, NYP]
• Lindsay Lohan's 15-year-old sister Ali has reportedly dropped out of high school so she can party full-time with her big sister. Good work, Dina. [P6]
• Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick are expecting girls when their surrogate gives birth in a few weeks. [OK!]

Back in January, when Calvin Klein Jeans first revealed its new ad campaign shot by renowned photog Steven Meisel, company execs said it was so unbelievably racy, they wouldn't even be able to buy commercials on cable TV. But they didn't say anything about 100-foot billboards on Houston Street! "Looks like the recession isn't taming the cheap sluts and man-whores," writes Bowery Boogie. And thank God for that. [Bowery Boogie]

• Employers only cut 539,000 in April, which was slightly better than Wall Street expectations and an improvement over the month of March. But the unemployment rate rose to 8.9 percent, which is a 25-year high. [WSJ, NYT]
• Stephen Friedman has resigned as chairman of the board of the Federal Reserve Bank of New York after questions about possible conflicts of interest given his role as a director (and shareholder) of Goldman Sachs. [WSJ]
• It looks like GMAC is going to need another bailout. [NYT, NYP]

More than other TV comedians, Norm MacDonald seems to delight in thumbing his nose at network bigwigs. Tonight it was CBS' turn, via David Letterman's Late Show. At least the audience had fun.

Right-wing ideologues were apparently allowed inside CBS to help drive Dan Rather from his job. So maybe it's no surprise he helped the Daily Show mock Fox News conservatives tonight.

Kiefer Sutherland was in a New York police precinct house for two hours, being charged with assault for headbutting someone at a Met Costume gala after-party. But he has yet to answer to Anna Wintour.

This New York Times front-page story is about how the Amazon Kindle can't pronounce Barack Obama's name. That's A1 news? Really? The Times really is just a fancy blog. (Or maybe just feeling defensive.)

Sure, American companies can't make reliable cars or financial instruments, but we still rule at exporting narcissistic media like reality television shows. And now, a Gothamite sodomite semite is taking Israel's gay porn virginity.

Police in Middleton, Conn. caught the man they believe executed Weselyan student Johanna Justin-Jinich. In fact, they had interviewed him at the scene of the crime.

Internet fameball competition was already intense before the recession and subprime celebrity crisis. Now it's gone cutthroat. And Lydia Hearst, never shy about exposing flesh, will not be forgotten so, hey, here are her tits.

• Are Americans finally shopping again? Maybe. Retail sales were up slightly in April. [NYT]
• Gucci has filed a trademark infringement lawsuit against Guess? Inc. [BN]
• Alessandra Stanley's Times review of Bravo's Project Runway-ripoff, The Fashion Show, featuring Isaac Mizrahi, Kelly Rowland and Fern Mallis, wasn't especially favorable. [NYT]
• Agy Deyn is now pitching bottled water. [Sun]
• Leigh Lezark is the new face of Mango. [Nylon]
• Michelle Obama wore Michael Kors—not Alaïa—to the Time gala the other night. [FWD]
• If you've ever wished you could meet Adriana Lima dressed up as "a modern-day Cleopatra," you'll get your chance this Saturday. [NYM]

• A roundup of restaurants that just opened, or will be very shortly. [Eater]
• The U.S. struck a deal with the European Union and has agreed to drop its proposed tariff on things like Roquefort cheese and Spanish ham. [WSJ]
• A few more places to consider taking your mom for Mother's Day. [GS]
• A high school in Queens has opened a student-operated restaurant. [NYDN]
• Possibly NYC's cleanest (and priciest) butcher shop just opened. [GS]
• Wouldn't it be nice if In-N-Out came to New York? Keep dreaming. [TFB]

What will Amazon.com CEO Jeff Bezos do next, after launching his grand Kindle swindle on the newspapers? He's aiming to get inside your offspring's heads!

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton (R) and Russian Foreign Affairs Minister Sergey Lavrov answer reporters' questions during a news conference at the State Department May 7, 2009 in Washington, DC. (Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images)