Everyone has stopped caring about the Swine Flu, except at still-publishing O.G. alt-weekly The Village Voice, where an intern was just diagnosed with it!

Louis Caldera, the White House aide who signed off on that insanely stupid photo-op flyover over New York City two weeks ago, is officially unemployed as of this afternoon. [WSJ]

Had an awesome week? Whatever. It was not as totally awesome as the week of Twittering Facebook chanteuse Randi Zuckerberg (of the Mark Zuckerberg Zuckerbergs). Except for the part where Julia Allison stalked her!

• Execs at CBS, NBC, ABC and Fox are supposedly "seething" that the president's three news conferences have cost them $30 million in ad revenue. [THR]
• Is the New York Times Co. heading towards bankruptcy? [E&P]
• More budget cuts at the Star Ledger and San Francisco Chronicle. [E&P, HP]
• The LA Times introduces a new weekly magazine this Sunday. [Folio]
• Star Trek is off to a fast start. The pic grossed $7 million last night alone. [EW]
• It looks like television and radio advertising is rebounding a bit. [MLM]
• Former Radar editor Maer Roshan is now the editor of TheWeek.com. [NYP]
• The Simpsons got its own series of postage stamps yesterday. [Reuters]

Meghan McCain breaking news: "The first time I ever heard about oral sex was during the Lewinsky scandal." Hah, dad really didn't spend much time at home with the kids, right?

We noted those stickers going up around town with timely phrases like "Enjoy Subprime Lending" and "Enjoy Credit Crunch" a few months ago. It's still unclear who's responsible for the guerrilla art campaign. An interview with "EnjoyBanking," one of the people involved, says it's the work of "a diverse cross-section of talent from New York's creative economy—visual artists, writers, economists, photographers, historians, musicians, and filmmakers." But additional cities will be getting stickers of their own soon, and a website dedicated to the project—enjoybanking.com—launches in June. [Art21.org via AnimalNY]

Sitting in the backseat of an Escalade going in reverse on 6th avenue. May 8 @ 12pm [Submit your own Gawker Stalker sightings to stalker@gawker.com]

Going to prison is about to get a lot less boring. The federal prison system is introducing email to imprisoned inmates! "It's a way for inmates to still keep in touch with their families and still maintain community ties," says a spokesperson for the Bureau of Prisons. Officials say that the communications will be monitored to ensure that "no convicts are trying to scam from behind bars." But does this mean that Ruth Madoff will set up an AOL account— ruthiem212@aol.com appears to be available!—so she can shoot off messages of support to her husband behind bars? Will Raffaello Follieri begin sending sad love notes to Anne Hathaway? The possibilities boggle the mind. [NYP]

Microblogging platform and lazy book deal factory Tumblr introduced a "feature" yesterday called Tumblarity, a single convenient number that lets users know exactly how many terrible blogs are better than theirs.

When people think "recession," some things that come to mind may be plummeting stocks and the long, slow slide into crippling depression. But self-loathing and sales of canned tuna aren't the only things on the rise. Unable to spend money on bars, restaurants and trips to the movies, people are opting for a cheaper form of entertainment: anxiety-fueled sex!

Color us confused: Hollywood gossip Perez Hilton, aka Mario Lavandeira, the queen of the knockoff disguised as parody. So why is he suing PerezRevenge to get it to change its name?

"Sopresso." "Brie." "Porcini Dusted Petite Filet." "Mascarpone Polenta." Do those sound like the sorts of things men of the people eat?

Happy news! The the Statue of Liberty's crown is reopening on July 4. Field trips! A nation of immigrants! And, for the Today Show crew, a chance to drone on endlessly about 9/11.

New York's most famous subway dermatologist, Dr. Jonathan Zizmor, took some time to chat with Gothamist today. And he was asked the question that has undoubtedly been on your mind for years now: Why does the photo of him make it seem as if he hasn't aged a day over the past quarter-century? Zizmor says he hasn't updated the photo in 25 years because "it's hard to do transparency, the color always comes out wrong." We have no idea what that means either, but points to Billy Parker for giving it a shot. [Gothamist]

Eliot Spitzer, the prostitute-hiring ex-governor of New York, has been seen in public with his wife, Silda, for the first time since he confessed to paying for sex with aspiring musician Ashley Dupré.

Lydia Hearst appears topless in the new issue of Italian GQ. Since the pics appear in a Condé Nast mag—and not in one owned by, say, Larry Flynt—it constitutes art/fashion, and thus is not at odds with her promise not to take her clothes off when she appeared in the French edition of Playboy. But if you'd like something to spice up your day—and you're not at work where looking at nude pics may be frowned upon—here you go. [Gawker]

Santa Barbara is on fire! People are losing their homes! Families are being separated and firefighters are risking everything to save lives! Also some assholes are throwing a pool party.

Jennifer Aniston checking her BlackBerry while walking with a friend ... Mary-Kate Olsen getting in an SUV in Soho ... Naomi Watts on Bond Street pushing baby Alexander in a stroller ... Whitney Port walking in meatpacking district ... Tony Hawk skateboarding outside the Gramercy Park Hotel ... Kate Hudson carrying a cup of coffee in the West Village ... Shannen Doherty holding onto her stylist's arm ... Katy Perry shopping in Soho ... Kylie Minogue heading into her hotel in Tribeca ... Patti Smith leaving lunch at Da Silvano ... Kate Bosworth and James Rousseau getting in a cab ... Rihanna shopping at Intermix, and later leaving dinner at Da Silvano ... and Amy Ryan leaving a movie set in Central Park.

539,000 people lost their jobs in April. Atrocious figure, but fewer than in March.