Last night's farewell party for departing Page Six deputy editor Paula Froelich was as lovey-dovey as expected. In long-standing New York Post tradition, there was a mock front-page about her. As for gossip about about her departure, nobody was talking.

By lashing the Cambridge police for arresting Henry Louis Gates at home, the president seems to have upset basically everyone today, even supporters on the left. But at least Republican rage isn't aimed at health care!

Beautiful Snork-female Gretchen Carlson is still on vacation, so Replacement Lady is filling in. Badly. While talking about a Bernie Madoff story she managed to reveal that she's just functionally-not-capably reading the TelePrompTer, without comprehending any of it.

• How's the New York Times Co. planning to lift itself out of the financial mess it's been in? Times Co. chief Janet Robinson says more cuts are on the way and the company is planning to sell off more assets. Also, there's some sort of paid membership model in the works, apparently. [WSJ, Gawker]
• Related: The paper says it will sell its stake in the Red Sox by January. [BG]
• What you missed at Walter Cronkite's funeral yesterday. [NYT, WaPo]
• Best-selling author E. Lynn Harris has died. He was 54. [NYT]
• More magazine is teaming up with Candace Bushnell on a new Web series starring 90210's Jennie Garth and Talia Balsam from Mad Men. [MW]
• After a ten-year run, today is Paula Froelich's last day at Page Six. [NYM]

In your finally Friday media column: The NYT looks ethically inconsistent and its management is mush-mouthed, Bruce Wasserstein contemplates buying BusinessWeek, and Fleet Street dies, unnoticed.

[That's my funny caption. Deal with it. The annoying singer is annoying on the "Today" show; image via INF]

Damien Hirst thrives on creating controversy. (One of his first works to garner attention was that dead shark suspended in formaldehyde, which is now part of hedge fund mogul Steve Cohen's collection.) So it's hardly a surprise that he's stirring the pot once again. But this time Lance Armstrong gets to go along for the ride.

July 23 @ 9pm At Stand Up NY, Seinfeld randomly came in. He did 20 minutes, making fun of pop tarts and people who wear tuxedos. He was really REALLY tan. And funny too. [Submit Gawker Stalker sightings to stalker@gawker.com]

The Way We Live Now: Believing against all odds! We're abandoning recession-tastic McDonald's for Starbucks once again. The ad industry bottom is here! We hope. Now if we could just get our unemployment checks, we could go celebrate.

OMG, you guys. So that movie Orphan comes out today—it's that Vera Farmiga creepy kid flick where she screams and screams as she realizes she already made this movie before—and we know the surprise ending! And it's hilarious.

Sporting some kind of hideous quarter-goatee, Kneale, then at Forbes, allowed the Today show to confiscate his BlackBerry, back in 2007. He surely though it would be a glorious publicity stunt on a national stage; that Kneale only lasted 40 hours out of a week indicates he lost control of the situation, and that his on-camera tears were real.

Hollywood's irascible uncle Rupert Everett flew off the handle again, this time saying that Michael Jackson was a "freak" and better off dead. He's just one of our favorite people who can't be tamed by a publicist.

Domestic doyenne Martha Stewart and legendary investor Warren Buffet are on stage at a big AOL meeting. "People are going fucking nuts," a tipster writes. Why are the business celebrities at AOL? To make children's programming, naturally.

Pity Itty Bitty Kitty: Cupboard's Bare Cause Mother's There. Snackin' Fatty Dragged in Paddy Wagon.

There's a reason why you haven't heard much about the Brooke Astor trial in recent weeks, according to the New York Times' A.G. Sulzberger: "[T]he parade of celebrity witnesses has come and gone, and as the testimony has narrowed to the observations of her hired help, the gallery has mostly thinned out to the usual suspects: reporters, lawyers and court employees." Celebrity witnesses may have left the building, but celebrity newspaper reporters are still on the scene, apparently. [NYT]

Microsoft got some good press after rival Apple demanded it stop running certain TV ads. Now the software company is getting more PR buzz by caving in to the demands. Savvy!

Newly-released billionaire massage aficionado and Ron Burkle pal Jeffrey Epstein is officially a registered sex offender in Florida. His brand new "Sexual Offender/ Predator Flyer" also includes a map to his house! Smirk less, Jeffrey. [Cityfile]

Get it?? News today about James Cameron, that little fellow with a dream. Also about TV pilots getting a second chance at life. James King becomes Jaime King, too!

Lilly the five-legged puppy was born to be a star. But some misguided "dog lover" types are determined to see to it that she never achieves her Freak Show career dream! You monsters.