You have to feel a little sympathy for Diana Taylor today. As one of three new boardmembers of beleaguered Citigroup, the former banking regulator will now have to spend part of her days with Citi chief Vikram Pandit and then her evenings curled up in bed with Michael Bloomberg. [NYT/Dealbook]

Andy Rooney—whose work we do not usually care for—was overcome with grief while delivering the eulogy at Walter Cronkite's funeral yesterday, and had to excuse himself after less than two minutes. It's god damn heartbreaking. A generation passes.

[Unfortunate drug addict Amy Winehouse leaving a courthouse, where she was facing charges for assaulting a fan. She was acquitted! Image via Bauer-Griffin]

Idle-gate appears to have reached its conclusion. Earlier this week, Mayor Bloomberg was totally busted for allowing the SUVs that ferry him around town to idle for hours while waiting for him. Now comes word the mayor has informed his staff that he plans to set a better example in the future. Let's hope so! [NYDN, previously]

Today we only have one little item. A long thing about an old time favorite: Coke Mom. Coke Mom is named so because she does cocaine-type drugs in front of her children. She's supposedly clean, but isn't really. Helluva drug.

A hedge fund is the worst possible place to get embroiled in a workplace sexual harassment suit. Hedge funders are ruthless and insane. A harassment suit at one hedge fund is now also an extortion case. With nude pixxx!

On July 24, 2009, Cityfile published an article entitled "Jim Dolan To Kill Christmas In July?" which contained speculation on the fate of the Radio City Christmas Spectacular starring the Radio City Rockettes. On July 27, 2009, Cablevision, Madison Square Garden, and Cablevision chief executive James Dolan filed a defamation lawsuit against Cityfile in New York State Supreme Court. We now realize that we could have done more to ensure that all relevant facts were included in the article. We have retracted the article and removed it from our website, and regret any negative and/or mistaken impressions that resulted from its publication. Cityfile and Madison Square Garden have since resolved all legal claims. And like all New Yorkers we're extremely pleased to hear that the legendary show will remain an institution in this city for many years to come.

• Coldplay bassist Guy Berryman has paid $2.65 million for a 2,681-square-foot apartment on the second floor of 79 East 2nd Street. The best part: He'll be a ten minute walk from bandmate Jonny Buckland, who picked up an Astor Place condo last November. [Cityfile]
• Artist Richard Prince has paid $11.5 million for a townhouse located at 57 East 78th Street. The six-bedroom manse had been listed for $15 million earlier this year. [NYO]
• Mediabistro founder Laurel Touby has paid $3.905 million for a 4,100-square-foot penthouse at 43 East 19th Street. [NYO]

Jerry Oppenheimer, the author famous for his gossipy, unauthorized biographies of people Anna Wintour (excellent), Martha Stewart (also good) and Jerry Seinfeld (boring), is publishing a new book about Bernie Madoff. Some of it sounds pretty juicy: Oppenheimer delves into possible ties between Madoff and members of the Mob, his serial unfaithfulness to wife Ruthie, and the book report that he may have fudged in a high school English class. Then again, some of it sounds like total nonsense. Like Oppenheimer's claim that Madoff didn't know how to tell time:

Cityfile has partnered with Dr. Helen Fisher to bring you the latest insight into love and romantic attraction. A renowned biological anthropologist, Dr. Fisher has conducted extensive research in the fields of human sexuality, love and marriage. She serves as Chief Scientific Advisor for the internet dating site Chemistry.com.

It's a big birthday for Jennifer Lopez. She's celebrating the big 4-0 today. Other people who will be blowing out candles this fine Friday: Broadway star Kristin Chenoweth is turning 41. Anna Paquin is 27. Director Doug Liman turns 44. Director Gus Van Sant is turning 57. Billionaire investor Nelson Peltz is 67. Artist Alex Katz is turning 82. Senator Claire McCaskill is 56. Governor Charlie Crist of Florida is 53. Barry Bonds turns 45. Retired basketball stars Rick Fox and Karl Malone are turning 40 and 46, respectively. Michael Richards of Seinfeld fame is turning 60. Actor Dan Hedaya is 69. And Wonder Woman—actress Lynda Carter—celebrates her 58th birthday today. Weekend birthdays after the jump.

Katie Holmes appears on So You Think You Can Dance (Video!), Gerard Butler is getting fat, Travis Barker and Shanna Moakler reunite, Gwyneth Paltrow cooks a chicken, Avril Lavigne parties really hard and Gwen Stefani looks pretty damn good.

• This may look like a still from a new Angelina Jolie movie. But it's not. It's the real Angelina Jolie, who made her third trip to Iraq this week and also stopped off in Jordan. What's she doing? She's saving the world, don't you know that? [NYDN]
• Kate Major, the ex-Star reporter who's been seen in the company of Jon Gosselin, might be out to be famous. Unbelievable! [NYDN]
• The Jackson family is out of money. That sure was quick, huh? [NYDN]

"Fat Jesus" was a guest on The Tonight Show with Conan last night where he discussed his mother's reaction to seeing The Hangover, and his penis' reaction to him being naked in the same room as a live Bengal tiger.

Noted unauthorized biography writer Jerry Oppenheimer has a book on Bernie Madoff coming out soon that contains at least one somewhat surprising revelation about the Ponzi-schemer: Many Madoff acquaintances considered him to be one of the stupidest people they knew.

Back when boa-wearing email terrorist Laurel Touby pocketed millions on the sale of Mediabistro, she said she wanted a car, a driver and a new apartment, but could only afford two of the three. Now she just needs the car.

Pervy money manager Jeffrey Epstein got out of prison yesterday, which means he can finally begin to put the last couple of years behind him and move on with his life, right? Not really. Since Epstein pleaded guilty to soliciting underage prostitutes, he had to register as a sex offender yesterday, a status that will be with him for the rest of his life. (That could explain the not-so-happy look on his face in this photo.) Florida's sex offender registry helpfully allows you to sign up for alerts so you're notified if someone moves to a new location. Naturally, if Epstein ever decides to leave his Palm Beach mansion and return home to his 45,000-square-foot, eight-story townhouse on East 71st Street, we'll be sure to notify you immediately. Epstein's full "predator flyer" is below.

Diddy or Sean Combs or whatever was one of Letterman's guests last night and he shared an interesting story about a time when Michael Jackson showed up unannounced at one of his famed White Parties.

Time has a great piece out today on the last days of the George W. Bush presidency, focusing on the nasty infighting between Bush and Dick Cheney over Bush's unwillingness to pardon Scooter Libby on his way out the door.

The consultants haven't even arrived yet and the Conde Nasties are already being forced to sacrifice. According to this note posted in the common area of the Gourmet offices, the Nasties are now being forced to wash their own dishes!