• Lindsay Lohan says she feels "scared" and "violated" after the break-in at her LA home last weekend. (We're guessing that's the same way Sam Ronson feels when she comes home to find LiLo waiting for her in the bushes, but what do we know?) In related news, though, Lohan's neighbors are now hoping she'll pick a new neighborhood to terrorize. [Sun, NYDN]
• Things don't always go Anna Wintour's way. When she headed to dinner after her David Letterman taping the other night, the poor editrix had to wait 20 minutes for her boyfriend, Shelby Bryan, to show up. And then the restaurant had the nerve to try and seat them at a non-private table. The indignity! [P6]
• Chelsea Handler has dumped her boyfriend, Ted Harbert. Making matters a little awkward: Harbert runs E!, which means her ex is still her boss. [NYDN]
• Cindy Crawford is coming clean about a deep, dark secret. She says that although you might have thought she had a perfect body, she really does have a bit of cellulite. Guess you'll have to focus on her inner beauty instead. [Star]

Here's a word to the wise: if you're going to ask a bank for a $74 million loan, be sure to have some outside help. And definitely don't give them referential phone numbers that are registered under your name.

Anna Wintour wants to stay out of the limelight, Lily Allen's friends talk trash, and Mel Gibson's girlfriend's unborn child is totally making her fat. All that and more in your Wednesday morning Gossip Roundup!

President Obama and Michelle are "heart-broken" over Sen. Kennedy's death.

Obama-related conspiracy theories stretch far and wide. And now they're weaving their way toward the National Endowment for the Arts.

Britain banned an advertisement that suggets Nivea's anti-aging cream has permanent results.

American teenagers are facing distressingly high levels of unemployment. So, what should they do? Get a job? No way! They should move to the UK.

President Obama yesterday cited Ben Bernanke's "bold action" when nominating the Fed head for a second term. Today? The White House projected the budget deficit will hit $1.6 trillion this year. [Boston Globe]

Billboard has named Beyoncé its woman of the year. Sasha Fierce missed out.

Never mind dinosaurs. Perhaps we should worry more about Britain's blood-thirsty, man-trampling mad cows.

Ted Kennedy survived years in Washington, but, sadly, he couldn't survive brain cancer. The long-serving Senator succumbed to the disease this evening, thus ending an illustrious, at times scandalous and always headline-grabbing life.

Since way back in 1993, when the movie adaptation of Jurassic Park came out, we knew the popularization of Michael Crichton's dinosaur nightmare novel would be the end of us. Well, that prediction seems frighteningly close to fruition.

OMG! Did you know President Obama and his family went to Martha's Vineyard for vacation? Of course you did. Everyone's out of their minds over the whole thing, especially the island's residents, whose collective welcome wagon borders on fanatical.

Megan Fox will claw her way onto the screen as Catwoman in the next Batman.

Remember 60 Minutes' Memogate? You know, when Dan Rather and producer Mary Mapes shot down President Bush's National Guard career with phony documents and were later fired? Well, Bernard Goldberg says they knew they were wrong all along! Despicable!

Mary Morris Lawrence, the first female photographer for the AP, has died at the age of 95.

We knew Chris Brown wouldn't go to jail for beating Rihanna, so we can't say we're surprised a judge sentenced him to 1400 hours of community service this afternoon. But it's worth noting that the infamous incident wasn't isolated.

Michael Jackson's death has obviously helped thrust his record sales, memorabilia and hangers-on into the celebrity stratosphere. No group, however, benefited more than his family, who are all of a sudden relatively relevant again. The ultimate sign: a reality show...

David Simon told television viewers to go screw themselves; Jane Fonda established a rallying point for her fellow travelers and Choire Sicha and David Carr watched a bust go down. The Twitterati celebrated troublemakers.

Arnold Schwarzenegger has us direly concerned about the future of California. Set aside the Republican's policies, and turn your attention to the growing cache of weaponry he keeps right there in the governor's office.