In an effort to save face after one of its members threw a racist "border patrol" party last month, the interfraternity council at the University of Texas introduced "culturally sensitive" party theme rules. The council also released lists of approved and forbidden themes.

Hey, Daniel P. Finney—metro voice columnist for the Des Moines Register—brother, I’ve got your back. I know this is an unfamiliar statement to read on Gawker.com, but stay with me.

A lot of people in the United States don't know anything about soon-to-be ex-senator Marco Rubio of Florida, which means he theoretically still has a chance to be president, the same way the Philadelphia Phillies can still theoretically win this year's pennant. It will not last, and it will never have been realistic.

It's been nearly a year since last year's audit detailing just how dire things are for veterans in need of medical attention , and apparently, not all that much has changed. According to veteran Ted Koran, he recently called the VA's suicide hotline only to be be put on hold for up to ten minutes at a time—multiple times.

A bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich can be many things: good, bad, cheap, expensive, readily available, rare, redemptive, a thing to argue about endlessly with respected colleagues. It is not, however, a “secret handshake that New Yorkers exchange” or anything else that Pete Wells describes it as in his recent and stupid essay in the New York Times about the breakfast staple.

CBS Denver has learned that two TSA agents at the Denver International Airport were fired in February after allegedly conspiring—on "roughly a dozen" instances—to allow one of the agents to grope the crotches of men he found attractive.

Teens : they love to cruise the web on their apps. Yik Yak. Snapchat. Kik. Hot Topic. Updog. Grimble. Blig Blug. Channing Tatum. But just when you thought you couldn't possibly predict the next app phenomenon, the Pew Research Center has released a study revealing that teens are still "faving" and "RTing" their first social media love: Facebook.

An Argentine steelworker and his wife were awoken early Friday morning by a gang of armed burglars looting their house. Two of the three men had guns, but they didn't get a chance to use them before the sleepy homeowner took a samurai sword off the wall and savagely "smote them in the arms" with it.

The prayers of the deranged have been answered: Crime is back in Times Square. On Sunday, a man dressed as Cookie Monster was arrested in the Midtown hellhole after allegedly groping a 16-year-old tourist.

Fuck dark chocolate.

Kenneth Morgan Stancil III was arrested by police in Florida Tuesday morning in connection with yesterday's shooting at Wayne County Community College in Goldsboro, N.C., where one person was killed .

A French mathematician has developed a formula to explain the "hipster paradox," the process by which "hipster" nonconformists tend to end up looking the same. Nobody understands what this math guy is saying because everyone calls hipsters fauxhemians now. A wasted mind.

Credulous authorities say a dead armadillo is responsible for a bizarre accidental shooting in Georgia after a bullet allegedly ricocheted off the animal and into the shooter's mother-in-law.

The 73-year-old volunteer deputy who shot and killed Eric Harris after mistakenly drawing his gun instead of his Taser was charged with second-degree manslaughter on Monday, The New York Times reports.

After less than 10 minutes in the air, an Alaska Airlines flight was forced to make an emergency landing on Monday when a napping baggage handler woke up in the plane's cargo hold and began banging and screaming.

A Florida man was given a valuable lesson in the importance of being yourself on Saturday, when the pretend cop reportedly pulled over two true detectives, landing him in actual jail.

More than 100 miserable vacationers spent a large part of the last two weeks puking and shitting themselves at sea, the Centers for Disease Control confirmed Monday, after an outbreak of norovirus ravaged Celebrity Cruises' Infinity ship.

A bunch of pissboy and pissgirl runners were brought to tears in Bournemouth, England on Sunday when a marshal error caused the race to be extended by almost two goddamn miles. Can you imagine! You wanna run—but not that far.

This Wednesday will bring a nationwide wave of strikes and protests by low-wage workers and their supporters, calling for higher pay. For some context on why, consider this: you, the taxpayer, are already subsidizing these workers to the tune of billions of dollars.

U.K. Independence Party leader Nigel Farage seems to spend half of his time asserting that Ukip is "not a racist party" and the other half apologizing for his party's racism. Ukip's anti-immigrant rhetoric has many critics, but one of the most vocal and most sword-owning of them is Yanek Zylinski, a self-described Polish prince who literally challenged Farage to a duel over the weekend.