The prestigious Cannes advertising awards won't ban agencies for making ads like this.

Hello, It's Joshua David Stein here, halfway through a beautiful bottle of pinot [noir!] It's only 10:15am but it's time to drunkenly discuss Bravo's Top Chef somewhere, emmeyeright?

Bravo announced today that it plans to add not one, but two new ladies to the cast of Real Housewives of New York: In addition to Sonja Morgan, a former hostess and the ex-wife of J.P. Morgan's great-grandson, the network is also tossing in an event planner named Jennifer Gilbert. Some fresh blood can't hurt, sure, but the much more exciting New York-centric reality TV news today has nothing to do with the Housewives. Page Six reports that a reality show about bizarro fashion designer Lloyd Klein is now being pitched to networks. The show would be about Klein and "his clients," which may not sound like the best premise for a program, particularly since his most famous client these days is LaToya Jackson. But any show about Klein would almost certainly have to include appearances by his BFF, Jocelyne Wildenstein, the woman who holds the title of most over-surgerized New Yorker. Join us in saying a little prayer that a gutsy TV exec out there takes a chance on Klein's show. (Are you paying attention, Animal Planet?) This could be huge!

Everyone's going for a twist today. Friends stars are trying to edgy-it-up; Paramount wants to pull one over on the theater owners and The CW is seeing hotties fighting Bin Laden and going to Mars. It's all in the trades.

There's nothing like a good screaming match, and last night the fights were dirtier than the blog posts that Nerdy McFroerson writes about Rachel. Who are you backing? Team Rachel? Team Quinn?!

It's Thursday, so Goldman Sachs raked in billions with taxpayer help while you're still unemployed. The bank announced $3.1 billion in third-quarter profits today, and set aside $5.3 billion for bonuses. Help us find out how they spend it.

It's easy to get the idea Jack Dorsey is acting out a revenge fantasy. Fired one year ago as CEO of his brainchild Twitter, Dorsey now says he's planning a startup with "similar ideas" — right in Twitter's back yard.

More Conde Nast layoffs today: A tipster tells us that "at least 10" staffers were let go at Golf World this morning.

American Apparel ads raise unimportant questions: Can they get banned in the UK again, on purpose? Are buttocks economically superior to cocksuckers? And why are these fishnetty things everywhere now? Don't neglect your local sex shop. [Copyranter. Click to enlarge]

After nearly thirty years on the road it's hard enough to know who you are, let alone where you are. And after all, isn't being a big time rock star all about people remembering you, not you remembering them.

Washington, DC PR man David Bass has a perfectly good explanation for why he was charged with a felony for disrupting a flight: He was all hopped up on Benadryl! He was awake traveling for five three days! He wanted wine!

At the debate earlier this week between Michael Bloomberg and Bill Thompson, the mayor said he thought Rudy Giuliani would make a good governor. The remark generated boos from the crowd (and rightly so), but it looks like the mayor wasn't paying much attention.

The mayor and city council have devised an ingenious (albeit inadvertent) way to reduce the number of hillbilly tourists flowing into the city. The city council approved a ban on flavored tobacco products yesterday, making NYC the first major city to do so. [WNYC, VV]

As in, "sorry, Gabriel, in advance," for any number of reasons. Though the most evident one is often patent ridiculousness.

Someone please fill this page, I'm dying to read about it.

The only "news" topic Americans really care about any more is: Innovative ways to lose weight and become superhuman athletic "champions," in order to get sex. Alas, we only try to achieve this by scientifically repackaging snack foods. And perfume.

Got a tip? A link to a hot story? A picture or video we should see? Let us know. If you'd like to be more discreet, you can also send us a confidential email.

Pretty much the coolest sales person ever.

If you've ever wanted to dress like Don Draper from Mad Men, you'll soon get your chance. Brooks Brothers will be introducing a limited-edition suit inspired by the AMC show beginning next week, a narrow, gray number designed by the men's clothier in collaboration with Janie Bryant, the show's costume designer. On Tuesday night, Brooks Brothers celebrated the new Mad Men suit with a party at the store's Midtown flagship. Douglas Marshall caught up with Vincent Kartheiser, the actor who plays Pete Campbell on the hit show, to chat about how the American workplace has changed since the wild and crazy '60s, the nature of the human condition, and David Letterman vs. Bill Clinton.

[Ivanka Trump is trumped at her Trump-sponsored party at Trump Tower for her trumpy book The Trump Card. Trump! Image via Getty]