As a nation, we have clearly settled the question of whether it's okay for Britney Spears to fake a concert. Of course it is. But leave it to Australia to stick their mitts right back in that can of worms.

Here's an important lesson to keep in mind: If the corrupt president of an impoverished African nation comes along and tells you he's going to pay you $27 million to buy a piece of land you own in Midtown, do not take him at his word. Stay skeptical, at least until you have the money in hand. Dictators, you see, tend to operate by their own set of rules; just they signed a silly piece of paper called a "contract" doesn't mean they can't change their minds later on. They can do what they want. That's one of the perks to being an autocrat!

Few events in a young woman's life are more momentous than her wedding day. We wonder how this disaster caught on video effected the honeymoon.

Duke University sponsored a study on female students' attitudes towards sex toys, which the director of the Duke Catholic Center worried would encourage the young women to "just sit around and masturbate." Do studies really do that? Awesome. [Katie Drummond]

ABC News' Brian Ross has a breathtaking record of recklessly inaccurate, overhyped stories that don't live up to the headline. His scoop yesterday about Nidal Malik Hasan's "attempt to reach out to al Qaeda" was one of them.

Everyone seems to think it's funny that UC Santa Cruz has a job opening for an official "Grateful Dead Archivist." But it's just the latest example of hippies riding high during the recession, floating on a cloud of groovy breaks.

Vampires are huge. Ratings for fang banging shows are unbelievable and the anticipation for the Twilight sequel is vomit inducing. We're sick of the undead too, but please stop telling girls that liking vampires will warp them!

Philadelphia heartthrob Arthur Kade, on the new Amelia Earhart biopic: "It was like watching Arthur Kade in the [1930s] with a vagina and shorter hair." He's good, he's really good! Why, these words could have come from the aviatrix herself:

In your typical Tuesday media column: Americans are zombie slaves to various screens, journalists will compromise for money like everyone else in the world, Indymedia tells the Justice Department to fuck off, and your comically mean reporter of the day.

Are you both spendthrift and resourceful? Here's how to turn that bottle of Dubra in your freezer into something drinkable.

A group of researchers report they successfully created artificial penises in rabbits by taking cells from the animals, growing the penile tissue in a lab, and then reimplanting it into the rabbits. Clearly this is encouraging news for owners of pet rabbits who suffer from erectile dysfunction. But does this mean the artificial penis will one day be available to humans and possible replace drugs like Viagra? Possibly. "We don't quite understand why it works, and it has yet to be replicated in anything more sophisticated than a rabbit," says one fertility expert at NYU. But "this could be a huge advance in the treatment of erectile dysfunction," says another. Talk to your doctor to find out if an artificial penis is right for you. Just wait about a decade to do so. [ABC News, NYDN]

Click to viewThere was a manage á boring last night between Dan, Vanessa, and Lizzy McGuire. Watch the video if you're a perv. We care more about how it shifted the power dynamics on the show. But we don't mind pervs.

A former New York Post editor who was fired last month for complaining about a ludicrously racist cartoon has filed a detailed complaint in federal court accusing editor Col Allan of racism, sexism, and all-round dickishiness of the highest order.

Clearly, you've never been to Tunisia! [Hapsical via Fashion Week Daily]

The only thing better than an old joke is when it's being old by an old Jew. Here are our top ten favorite Old Jews Telling Jokes jokes.

We knew Julia Allison was doing ads for Sony, but did you know Sony's actually putting Julia Allison in ads shown on television, where everyone can see them? And she's allowed to sit next to real live famous people? Odd.

AOL will lay off about 100 today, as we reported, says All Things D.

The recent blows to print journalism are great news for politicians: They can afford to own news outlets again, just like in the colonial era! Even local politicians can afford their own newsrooms.

In a time of chaos, the wise mogul keeps his enemies close, and his off-their-rocker trainwreck creations closer.

Ralph Cioffi and Matthew Tannin, the former Bear Stearns execs charged with conspiracy, securities fraud and wire fraud in connection with the collapse of the two hedge funds they managed, were acquitted on all counts in federal court this afternoon. So much for the "first major test of a U.S. effort to obtain convictions tied to the subprime mortgage crisis and subsequent recession"! [Reuters]