explaining the job title of the 32-year-old son of French Vogue editor Carine Roitfeld at an art show he "tailored" for Nicolas Pol, to Vanity Fair.

In their quest to reshape television, NBC passed a critical milestone on the way to the primetime experiment's end this week — ratings fell below their own ridiculously low benchmarks to judge the show's success. Now the format's being reworked.

• Danny Meyer's Maialino opens tomorrow and is taking reservations. [GS]
• A new wine bar is scheduled to open at Bouley Bakery next week. [NYT]
• More openings: Bar Henry opened last night in the West Houston space that was previously occupied by Zinc Bar; Caracas Brooklyn is planning to open its doors on Thursday; a burger chain bearing a suspicious resemblance to In-N-Out (this one's called Fresh-N-Fast) debuts in a couple of weeks; and another burger spot in the Village called P&B has already opened.
• Sala, the decade-old tapas spot on the Bowery, is up for lease. [GS]
• A peek at François Payard's newly-opened (and very tiny) chocolate bar. [SE]
• Cocktail queen Audrey Saunders is branching out with a spot in LA. [NYT]
• A profile of Bon Appétit editor Barbara Fairchild, now "one of the most watched women in food publishing" following the closure of Gourmet. [LAT]
• The most expensive bottle of beer may get auctioned off this month. [NYP]
• Portland is looking to usurp NYC as "food-cart capital of the country." [OL]
• Is French cuisine dead? Several famed French chefs weigh in. [GS, TONY]

David Plouffe ran Barack Obama's campaign as a steady and extended fuck-you to the hyperventilating Drudge junkies at Politico, and we loved him for it. Now he's admitted he was leaking to them the whole time.

America's Next Top Model judge J Alexander is on The Tyra Show helping a young lesbian come out. He is the best ally that gay youth have, just by being as big and gay as he wants to be.

Bernie Madoff's East 64th Street penthouse didn't attract any buyers at $9.9 million. How does a more modest $8.9 million sound? Did we mention the "elliptical staircase" and the "sun-flooded rooms"? Or the "tremendous wrap-around planted and irrigated terrace"? Or the fact that Mr. Matt Lauer will be your downstairs neighbor? Get moving, people. A "sophisticated" and impeccably renovated apartment" at this price won't last long. [Curbed]

What are you watching tonight? Let us know in the comments.

Tunku Varadarajan is the winner of today's Outrage-Off, with 74% of the vote. Congrats, psycho.

Carly Fiorina is already elevating the political discourse in California: The former Hewlett Packard CEO is emailing ads about that one time her opponent politely asked a general to call her "senator" instead of "m'aam," like an arrogant bitch.

• Comcast and GE have reportedly agreed that Jeff Zucker will remain the CEO of NBC Universal as part of their proposed $30 billion joint venture. Well done, gentlemen. Good to see things get started on the right foot. [Reuters]
• In related news, Zucker's totally brilliant plan to move Jay Leno to 10pm is paying off beautifully. Leno sank to a brand new ratings low last night. [NYT]
• Anita Dunn, the White House communications director who started the administration's war with Fox News last month, is stepping down. [WP]
• Hey, it's not all bad news for Condé Nast. Self is doing pretty well. [WWD]
• The creators of Will & Grace are working on a Twitter-inspired show. [THR]
• The nominations for the 2010 People's Choice Awards were announced today, just in case you happen to be care about that sort of thing. [LAT]
• Aerosmith is looking for new lead singer, in case you're job-hunting. [LAT]
• George Lopez and Wanda Sykes' debuts this week scored solid ratings. [NYT]
• Simon Cowell made $75 million last year, earning him the top spot on Forbes' list of primetime's top-earning men. Ryan Seacrest exploded in tears when he heard he came in No. 3 with $38 million. Or so we'd like to think. [Forbes]

Media can stare at itself all it likes, but it takes sitting across the table from today's news monster to really see what journalism has become. In a fascinating diagram, director Jason Reitman has pretty much broken it down.

The German consulate in Manhattan received a suspicious white powder in an envelope today, just like three other consulates did yesterday. We hear the media agency Initiative, in the same area, had to be evacuated too. Send terror stories here!

Sit back and let Brandon Hardesty show you how to blow bubbles using your mouth and baby shampoo.

The Way We Live Now: Virtually well. Not "virtually" like "almost," like "we're almost living well again, thanks," because, whoa, not even close. We mean "virtually" like "in a virtual world." Mentally transport yourself to Affluenceville, population (your name)!

MSNBC is reporting that one two people were killed and up to ten have been wounded in a shooting near a Portland strip mall. Stop, please?

Former police commissioner Bernie Kerik almost went crazy in prison these past couple of weeks. But now he's going home! A judge released Kerik on bail today pending his sentencing in February on the eight felony counts he pleaded guilty to last week. So it's a good day, right? Not entirely. Not only will he remain under house arrest until then, a judge put the kibosh on Kerik's request that he be allowed to leave his house to walk his kids to school. "This is not home confinement with morning strolls and afternoon strolls," the judge responded. [NYT]

Congrats again to HughJackmanOffForMoney for correctly answering today's Freeze Frame. Haven't figured it out yet? Click for the answer!

[Rihanna points to the miniature trailer park that her twister of a gown is going to destroy after speaking at the Glamour magazine Women of the Year Awards at Carnegie Hall last night. Image via Getty]

Fashion designer Tom Ford teams up with production designer Dan Bishop of Mad Men for A Single Man. The trailer's mesmerizing vintage look suggests what we hope is just a brief glimpse of an electrifying must-see.

Matthew Weiner says the Draper marriage is "unambiguously over," making our Betty-betting line look generous.