The New York Times layoffs are supposedly starting today. Know any names? Email us.

Though this two-minute trailer contains many of the same sequences as the first one, today's version is much cleaner and crisper. It also offers a little insight into the plot. It seems that Alice (Mia Wasikowska) is returning to Wonderland to find that the evil Red Queen (Helena Bonham Carter) has taken over and made everything as horrible as a death in the family during Saturday morning cartoons. Now, Alice teams up with Johnny Depp's Mad Hatter (really, did anyone think he wasn't going to kill this role?) to fight for the nice White Queen (Anne Hathaway in Glinda the Good Witch drag, if that's a compliment) and restore the kingdom.

Well well, if it isn't the Federal Trade Commission, deciding now—after all American children have already starred on 'The Biggest Loser'—that there should be some rules about marketing unhealthy foods to kids. What foods? You will be amazed!

Tiger Woods has a supporter in former mayor (and fellow philanderer) Rudy Giuliani. At the premiere of Nine last night, a reporter asked the ex-mayor if he had a message to send the scandal-plagued golfer. "Hang in there," Giuliani replied before going on to describe Woods as a "very, very fine man." Okay, who's next? Care to share your thoughts, Mr. Spitzer? [Us]

How do you successfully lead a double life? There are a lot of steps, but the best advice is having a third life set up for when shit goes down, you awful, awful person.

The New York Times has identified the source of Goldman Sach's image troubles—it used to be a hip bank, one that really cared about the banking, you know? Now all they care about is money. Sellouts.

On Monday, we apologized to New Republic publisher Marty Peretz, for asserting, without evidence, that he likes Joe Lieberman, the famous asshole. We now rescind that apology.

Some of us forgot Sarah Marshall (See what I did there?), but those that refused forgetfulness lauded over Jason Segel's Dracula's Lament. Much like a vampire, Segel's puppet driven rock opera lives beyond expectation on Craig Ferguson's 1000th episode.

A casino could be coming to the Hamptons in the near future. Washington indicated yesterday that it's prepared to grant official recognitition to the Shinnecock Indian Nation, a tribe that occupies 800 acres in Southampton, "not far from some of Long Island's wealthiest communities and expansive celebrity-owned estates."

To no one's surprise, it appears that Tiger Woods' wife is planning to divorce him. Sorry, golf fans momentarily distracted from your sedate sport by a wild sex scandal: this story is coming to its end.

The new Alice in Wonderland trailer was released today, and it looks to be so dreamy, colorful, and imaginative, it's going to be hard to believe you're watching a movie and not frying on acid.

Today's cheese-tastic holiday music video might just be the worst of them all! Watch MiMi throw herself at Santa in her red snow suit, play with a white dove, and pretend to open presents in the most 90s way possible.

[We can't tell which Olsen is dressed as court jester and which is an angry Goth bird at the premiere of Nine last night in New York. Image via Getty]

These gorillas get the equivalent of an Easter egg hunt when their handlers hide cupcakes all over their home. Watch them discover and eat them. Yummmm. Cupcakes.

Mary-Kate Olsen walking downtown with her mom after a little shopping expedition ... "Advice columnist" Ashley Dupre going into an office building near Gramercy Park with an unidentified man ... Amanda Seyfried carrying a handful of holiday gifts in the East Village ... Michelle Williams crossing the street with her daughter Matilda ... Hugh Jackman leaving his apartment building ... Matthew Broderick walking with son James in the Village ... Fergie leaving ABC studios ... Sarah Jessica Parker leaving a hair salon in the meatpacking district ... Tracy Morgan filming scenes for 30 Rock in the West Village ... and Rihanna shopping with one of her friends.

The mashup exists for one reason: so the viewer can watch and say, "Hey, that's nifty!" Taking Gran Torino trailer audio and implanting it (very well) intoscenes from Up certainly gets the nifty nod of approval.

Christmas seems to be the sexxxiest time of year! News-wise. It's because reporters—and readers—are even lazier than usual right now. Neither writing nor reacting to sex stories takes much effort at all. Observe:

His wife can't take the drinking and drugs or his infidelity, but she can take his money. A actor's elaborate toupees, a couple's doomed relationship, and an actor who claims he didn't sleep with his sister-in-law all have it better.

Gawker friend Mark Ebner's Maxim story on the Beverly Hills Bandits includes this fact: the father of one member, Nick Prugo, is a film executive behind both no-budget blockbuster Paranormal Activity and poop-movie I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell.