Wacky Sex Stories Get America Through the Holidays

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Hamilton Nolan

12/16/09 10:17AM

Filed to: sexy time

Christmas seems to be the sexxxiest time of year! News-wise. It's because reporters—and readers—are even lazier than usual right now. Neither writing nor reacting to sex stories takes much effort at all. Observe:

A lady in New Mexico got an injury in a car crash that "left her with an insatiable sex drive." Hey, maybe we should go out on a date, lady! Ha.
NYPD officers were found playing porn in the office. Protect and serve? Protect and perv! Ha.
New York City wants the public's help to design the new NYC condom wrapper. Watch out, sounds like a job for me! Ha.
Chinese police arrested more than 3,000 people in an online porn crackdown. Good thing we don't live in China, we too would be under arrest! Ha.
A British woman was cited for "breaching an anti-social behaviour order by having noisy sex." Tell us about it—we already know about it. First-hand! Ha.
An Irish company is marketing the first environmentally friendly vibrator. Hey baby, I was born with one of those, inside my pants! Ha.

You are guaranteed to hear at least one of these on the Jay Leno show tonight, so tune in at 10!
[Pic via]