A British Columbia man has apparently admitted in a Facebook post to killing his family, CBC News reports. The post on Randy Janzen’s Facebook page states that he killed his wife, his daughter, and his sister.

On Saturday, the World Health Organization declared Liberia to be free of Ebola, with no new cases in the last 42 days, twice the virus’s maximum incubation period.

According to a police report obtained by the Guardian, Brian Rice, the most senior Baltimore police officer charged over the death of Freddie Gray, used his position as a lieutenant in the Baltimore Police Department to demand that police in a nearby city arrest his ex-girlfriend’s husband. Earlier reports indicate that Rice had previously threatened to kill his ex-girlfriend and her husband and to commit suicide.

Linda Rodriguez was lying in bed when the knock at the door came. Her youngest son, Eric Maldonado, 17, heard it first. He figured it was his older brother Gilbert coming home. Gilbert Drogheo, 32, was a jokester, and Eric knew if he got up and let him in, they might be up all night chatting. Eric had school the next day, so he left it for his mother to answer. Before she did, the phone next to her bed started ringing.

Macon, Ga., police are seeking a former Waffle House employee caught on camera masturbating to completion in one of the restaurant’s booths on Monday during a slow lunch hour.

Richard Beckman, who spent five years as president of Conde Nast Media Group, has been hired by Vice Media, where he will join a former White House official as an executive at what is still quaintly referred to as an “edgy, brash media brand.”

Healthy eats! Echo ears! Thunder pictures! Alien sounds! Head-volution! Space geysers! Spider silk! And statistics that some might call stunning! It’s your Friday Science Watch, where we watch science—with X-Ray Vision!

Russia and China’s ever-growing, often bizarre partnership, while usually cause for concern, has created something positively beautiful: This breathless, handjob of a propaganda video to Putin, with love, from China. P.S. Love your big muscles.

Police have released video of a man who hit another man over the head at the Chelsea Dallas BBQ this week in an alleged anti-gay attack (above). Meanwhile, others are questioning the narrative of one of the victims, Jonathan Snipes, by claiming that his attacker was also gay.

A 33-year-old South Africa man says three women forced him into a car at gunpoint Tuesday, then made him drink an unknown, erection-inducing drug and raped him. They allegedly collected his semen in plastic bags, which they stored in a cooler. When they’d taken what they wanted, he says, they abandoned him in a field near Port Elizabeth and drove away.

The (now former) North Las Vegas Chief of Police Joseph Chronister retired yesterday, and with it, he’s decided to reveal some of the more disturbing goings-on in the force. More specifically, the fact that “what he believed to be” child pornography somehow just kept “popping up” on Mayor John Lee’s iPad—which the cops then helped him promptly delete.

Patrick Stewart, 61, has successfully defended his PhD thesis in architecture at the University of British Columbia, despite the fact that it was mostly written without any punctuation marks or capital letters or identifiable grammar.

Yesterday morning, between 9:30 and 9:40 a.m. (yes, I was running late to work) I was the victim of sexual misconduct at the Fulton Street subway stop, at the exit near Fulton and William streets. The MTA and the NYPD failed to provide substantial measures in responding to and reporting the incident.

South Carolina Senator and anthropomorphized seersucker suit Lindsey Graham will reportedly be announcing his bid for the presidency on June 1. He will be joining the 753 other Republican candidates currently in the running.

A small plane crashed onto a highway in Atlanta this morning, killing all four people on board.

A Colorado BBQ joint called Rubbin’ Buttz has scheduled its “White Appreciation Day” for June 11. Although owner Edgar Antillon is Latino, he wants to give white customers 10 percent off for a day because “all Americans should be celebrated.”

Attorney General Loretta Lynch just announced a federal civil rights investigation into the Baltimore police department in response to the death of Freddie Gray. A similar investigation by the DOJ into the Ferguson police department uncovered systematic racism and well-documented examples of police brutality.

The internet is full of “video ads” that some highly paid corporate marketing officer paid tons of money to some advertising firm to produce. Nobody is watching that shit.

Defying expectations and early polling, the Conservatives are on track to take a majority in British Parliament with David Cameron securing a second term as prime minister.

So security’s not so good at the White House these days. What’s the Secret Service to do? Try harder? Nah, they’re just going to add some spikes to the fence and call it a day.